Saskia Roach-Jones

Notallwhowanderarelost

Saskia Roach-Jones

I'm just wandering... I'm not lost



Europe » Spain » Catalonia » Barcelona September 13th 2020

Everytime I hear this question I feel fear and tears. I instantly clench and tears form at the backs of my eyes. Although I published a daily vlog though lockdown talking about it face to face is just not the same, when I write a blog or film a vlog it doesn’t feel like talking to a person but just releasing whats inside outside. I was confronted in London with the question so many times, a question I can’t process, the short answer is - ‘I feel like I have a form of PSD my body is in shock still and everything is yet to be processed but basically it was not ok.’ Not only does it make me feel fear & tears but as I have still not dealt with the pain I feel intense ... read more

Europe » Spain » Catalonia » Barcelona March 6th 2020

“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about, be kind, always.” As I exhaled into my first downward dog for 8 months I felt a rush of shame roll over me. How had I let it get this bad? My knees were bent, my stomach rolling over... my right heel screaming out in pain. That’s how I reminded myself, be kind Saskia. That was my mantra that class as I struggled for the first time since I can remember to touch my toes and scolded my stomach and weight, be kind Saskia, your here. You made it to the mat. How did I get here though? After starting to run in 2018 I was healthy and happy practicing yoga at least twice a week and running three times. I injured my foot that ... read more
Session 6
Spring at home

Europe » Spain » Catalonia » Barcelona » Barcelona February 15th 2019

One of the hardest times in my life you found me. Emotional and vulnerable you gently, slowly and tenderly got to know me. You never pushed too hard or made me feel like I wasn’t being enough. I knew that even if all we had was those few weeks, you had come into my life for a reason. It’s been more than a few weeks now we are easily slipping into a few months, we are effortlessly making plans for the future and when I look at you, like really look at you, I can feel myself falling in love. One of the things I have to do is let go of the others, to finally release the pain. I have to consciously make sure that I am not allowing them to effect us, that I ... read more
Moon child
The road ahead

Asia » India » Maharashtra » Mumbai December 27th 2018

I feel like for the last two months I have been holding my breath, at times I even felt like I was deep diving and holding my breath, all the fish nibbling at every part of my body- trying to promote a reaction. After a few months of feeling emotionally and physically drained, I took a Valium got on a plane and 17 disoriented hours later I arrived in Mumbai the hour qu at immigration and the confusion of an uber were the last moments before I sank into a king sized bed and fell directly to sleep. It wasn’t until about 8 hours later as I lay by the rooftop pool that I consciously felt myself exhale. I suddenly felt every fibre of my being begin to untense and slowly but surely it felt as ... read more
Breath
Peace within the chaos

Europe » Spain » Catalonia » Barcelona November 11th 2018

The next breath The nights are getting longer, the mornings that little bit darker and honestly my motivation has taken a bit of a dive these past few weeks. I started my new job in September and always pushing myself I have thrown myself into becoming the best version of myself at work. Now it’s time to work on the balance of work and all the wonderful things I do in my life that bring me joy. I was reminded today as I took some time away from everything and had a life admin day that every element of myself sometimes needs space. Seventh on my list and one very obvious goal is to finally do some kind of yoga teacher training, the day I added this I got an email from one of my favourite ... read more
Colombian trees
Sivananda dream

Europe » Spain » Catalonia » Barcelona October 20th 2018

I took spring cleaning to another level this year when I decided to pull myself out of my rut by starting to training for a 10K, this was to be the first time in 6 years that I tried to run anywhere. (And even then I ran four times and gave up) I coupled this training with quite an extreme no dairy, sugar, wheat diet and as you can imagine I started to see physical results quite quickly. The mental side was a whole other ball game. I started as many people do with the couch to 5K plan it’s a type of podcast that’s starts you slow 3 minutes walking 60 seconds of running and builds up over 9 weeks. Those first few weeks were some of the hardest of my life. I was battling ... read more
Moments that take your breath away
Running block buddies
The moment before my first 10K

Europe » Spain » Catalonia » Barcelona September 20th 2018

Sometimes life decides that the path you are directed on is not actually the path for you, in my case this just happened in a massive way. Ready for a new adventure and to start again in a wonderful new county fate stepped in. Although I was torn between staying and leaving I had some traction spurring me on from when I had first made the decision to move September 2017. I have always dreamed and discussed moving to Canada and a sudden now or never feeling crept over me. The process of the visa application is a long and expensive one, made extra difficult because I don’t currently live in my birth country I spent months getting all the paperwork together. In July this year I was in London making money for the move, in ... read more
Sunday’s in Barcelona
Running views

Europe » Spain » Catalonia May 20th 2018

Hello Saturn, I have been expecting you. Jesus Christ what a few months I have had I cannot pinpoint the moment it began, but I do remember the point it got worse, the point it was at its worst and the point it finally started to get better. I have a very unrealistic view on some things, I create moments in my mind that life never lives up to. Then I come crashing down, it’s only in the dark of night you see the stars, well I was blacked out, no stars. Well maybe the North Star, but in the south, it was all very confusing as I am sure you can understand. I think I just get disheartened easily, I think I just don’t know how to achieve things I want. I know work was ... read more

North America » Canada » Quebec » Montréal July 24th 2017

Ever get to the checkout and realise you completely forgot the main thing you even came shopping for? The same thing happens when you order from the universe, you can order a moment or a person but you have to be clear ask once, describe perfectly and then wait. I ordered this moment- naked, free, a cloudy day in a hot tub with wine and you. I must have also ordered these tears and frustration and the conversation they lead to. There is a venerability in your eyes that makes me feel safe, a beauty in your tears that makes everything so real. I have had these tears inside me for weeks, months even, only you would pile on top of me with all your body weight and push them out of me, why I don’t ... read more
Sunsets on the lake
Flames
Big Earth, Little Earth and their Fire

Europe » Spain » Catalonia » Barcelona February 27th 2017

Shag, marry, kill Wouldn't it be fabulous if there was an extra button on tinder, the honesty button, swipe right then add intention. It would save everyone a lot of hassle. It seems in this world of instant availability, all experiences are available at the click of a button, and one of those is, temporary girlfriend. Since when did it become ok to spend weeks talking about every detail of your life, to share personal stories and feelings then decide on meeting your just not that into people. We are all guilty of it, but honestly I am worried that there is something funimentally wrong with society. Have we lost sight of courage? Feelings? Real emotion? Two weeks, then one night and something not even a message afterwards, we are built up and then let down. ... read more




Tot: 1.58s; Tpl: 0.014s; cc: 7; qc: 84; dbt: 0.0177s; 1; m:saturn w:www (104.131.125.221); sld: 1; ; mem: 1.4mb