The Eraser

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May 17th 2009
Published: September 30th 2017
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Getting ready in the morning - the picture is a little dark, but Justin is doing some writing. What exactly is he writing? You'll see soon enough ...
Geo: 36.0846, -115.172

Got a call from Justin at 9:30, saying that my help was needed - I was intrigued ... a quick shower and up to their room to finalize some details for today, John's official stag day! We spent some time combining our creative talents, but became quite famished after all of our creative juices were drained. Off to the Venetian for some grub.

We wandered around the Grand Canal Shoppes, in search of food. It's quite beautiful inside, but seemed quite bizarre that you would take something as beautiful as Venice, something that still actually exists, and make an Americanized copy of it in the middle of a desert. It seems a lot like a Disney-fied re-creation of Venice.

Our first thought was to try Tintoretto's, which sounded like a great Italian bakery/cafe, according to my guidebook. We didn't find anything better, and so returned there. It was a simple, but over-priced, and so-so breakfast

Back to the hotel to get John ready for the day's festivities. We realized that John was hurrying to get ready and leave the hotel before we could dress him up, so we rushed up to the room for an ambush. We simply couldn't

Breakfast at Tintoretto's: pain au chocolat - only ok, but warmed and flaky.
let this happy and joyous occasion pass without commemorating the event properly. After all, what are friends for?

Other than a nice meal and an evening out on the town, there was no real plan for today, other than to embarrass John. We got him dressed up and paraded him down to the lobby, then the hotel pool, and finally over to Caesar's Palace, where we stopped for lunch at the Cheesecake Factory.

Over lunch, we laughed at some of John's all-too-frequent mispronunciations over the past few days - calling Buccaneer Boulevard "Boo-ken-ear boulevard", calling Neimann-Marcus "Marcus Newman", and the crustacean station at the Rio buffet last night "Crusty Ocean". If you're going embarrass and laugh at a guy on his stag, you should make sure you do so about EVERYTHING!

We finished up lunch and headed back through the Shops at Caesar's Forum, and over to the gardens at the Bellagio. We thought this would be a suitable location to take some pictures of John, as a garden is the natural habitat for a rabbit. But apparently, not everyone knows this, as some random tourist commented "Well, I've never seen THAT before!"

After that, we headed back to the

Bad cappuccino, in a nice authentic cup! Exactly the kind of cup you would expect a cappuccino to be served in while in Venice ... yeah ...
hotel - but not before having John complete one final task. As friends, we're not as bad as you might think - our first thought was to postpone this task until things cooled off, but we happened to find a nice, shady spot for John to conduct his business. The task was completed, and everybody went back to the hotel, except for Jason, Tri, and I - we headed over to the Wynn to try and get on a guest list for a nightclub tonight.

Everyone did their own thing back at the hotel, I grabbed a quick nap before dinner, as last night's sleep was quite crappy. Back to Caesar's Palace for dinner at Spago, a restaurant recommended by Yolanda. Upon arrival and seeing the gorgeous hostess, I thought "Yup, excellent suggestion by Yolanda." Exactly how gorgeous was she? Well, with the exception of me, this group is a bunch of guys that for the most part, find only Asian women attractive. But I think they were all as impressed as I was.

For those that remember the beautiful Andrea, the Chilean hostess from Puerto Fuy in Santiago that I raved about, this hostess could have been her blonde,

John, getting ready. You gotta look your best if you're going to be Vegas by your buddies, right?
American cousin. For those that don't remember or don't know, see blog entry entitled "A small bladder can be a good thing"

Despite having a reservation, we waited about 20 minutes for our table. None of us seemed to mind, as our waiting spot was immediately adjacent to the reception area, and afforded a lovely view of the even lovelier hostess 😊 We finally sat down, amid a buzzing and boisterous dining room. Definitely not the place you go to for quiet, intimate conversation!

A few of us noticed the heavenly-smelling pear-scented soap in the bathrooms at Spago. Normally I wouldn't, but after experiencing how divine my hands smelt after using the washroom, I almost felt like licking them. Yes, I DID just write that!

Our original after-dinner plan was to go to Blush lounge in the Wynn, but they're closed Sundays. Next choice was Tao, which was also closed Sundays. At the recommendation of a bellhop over at Wynn, we got ourselves on the guest list for Lavo, at Palazzo. BIG mistake.

We showed up and of course, the guest list doesn't really do anything for you, so we still waited in line. Being relatively early (11:30 or

The actual list - it's actually not even that bad, so John is lucky that we pulled this list off of the internet. This could've been much worse had we put together a list of our own. We should've added to #11 "... and then introduce this girl to your single friends."
so), it didn't take long to get to the front. The doorman asked if we were on the guest list, and asked us if we wanted to do bottle service for $100 a head. No thanks, we said. Then came the kicker - yes, we know that a group of 7 guys will have trouble getting into any club in the world. But we were told "They really should've told you when you called up that you need some ladies in your group. I'll be honest with you, you're not getting in unless you do bottle service."

WTF??!!?? We couldn't believe how blatant the guy was with his response. It wasn't even about the money, just the principle of being extorted like that - we left and headed down the strip in search of something else, a little pissed off and a little dejected. This totally put a downer on the evening.

We wandered and wandered down the strip, through Paris, and finally found a club that was open at MGM Grand, Tabu - hooray! We were told that cover was $20, and there was no mention of us having to do bottle service, so we were overjoyed! Once inside,

John, stretching out his tights. We must all agree, pink is better than his ghastly white legs. Notice how nicely the pink matches the colour of his face?
we did a round of shots and grabbed a round of drinks, and then realized that .... none of us were really into this scene, anyway. Too funny! An hour before, we were so dejected over at Lavo, then so elated to get into Tabu, but only to realize that none of us really cared in the first place.

We had a few more drinks, and hung around for a while. This geeky-looking Asian guy hopped up onto a coffee table, and a few of us thought "This should be good, this guy's going to make an @ss out of himself!" But then he started busting out these incredible dance moves, gliding across the table, and pulling out some hip-hop tricks. A few random girls even took out their cameras and started filming him. The guy was at the club with this cute little Latina, and I thought to myself "Sigh ... if only I could dance like him ...."

We soon left, and at this point things got bizarre. Though Jason really didn't drink all that much, he got out of hand, lap dancing Tri, and actually chasing after him! I don't even know what to say, you really

Sexy time!
have to look at the pictures and see for yourself!

John was quite relieved at the turn of events - all the embarrassing moments from today were magically wiped out in an instant by Jason's shenanigans. John can never complain about his stag, EVER again, because it's like none of it ever happened. Jason needs a nickname - from this point forward, he shall be known as "The Eraser".

Additional photos below
Photos: 82, Displayed: 27



John looks so deep in thought, as he tries to level out his uneven breasts.

But it's not over yet! The final touch is the rabbit ears.

What can I say? This still isn't anywhere NEAR as bad as the Borat Mankini.

Heading down to the lobby. Notice how everyone is so embarrassed, that they are staying away from him?

Trying to hide in the lobby behind this mail box - not working, my friend!

All the boys (except for John), excited to celebrate today!

How fortuitous - someone suggested that we head out to the pool, where they were having a hula hoop contest.

See, this isn't so bad - John's getting lots of attention from the ladies ...

... and a little more ...

... and just a little more ...

... and just a TINY little bit more ...

... he was even a hit with the guys! Or more accurately, his coconut breasts were a hit!

We couldn't believe how many women wanted their picture taken with John!

Walking down the strip - notice how we are no longer embarrassed to be seen in public with John, and feel comfortable enough to walk alongside him.

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