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The hardest part is coming home

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One for those who have travelled long term or known life as an expatriate
5 years ago, September 6th 2016 No: 1 Msg: #197981  
B Posts: 11.5K
The hardest part of moving overseas is the reverse culture shock of coming home
stuff.co.nz

I can relate to this completely, particularly the part about expecting relationships with friends to be unchanged. I think in terms of 'pre Life in Japan', and 'post Life in Japan', with 95%!o(MISSING)f my friends belonging to the latter. I'm very grateful for that small handful of friends who have been there before, during and after the years I spent living in Shimane. Reply to this

5 years ago, September 10th 2016 No: 2 Msg: #198026  
Yes some times It's become tough to get back home for some external circumstances like bad weather, ticket problem etc. But the most big problem is your mind when you are want to travel more but you have to get back home really the hardest part. Reply to this

5 years ago, September 15th 2016 No: 3 Msg: #198073  
We have never actually moved home since we left, but can understand where she is coming from. When we first went home after 13 months away, we were very different people, or we felt that way, and we wanted to tell everyone about all of our adventures. Thing was, people at home had been living their lives for the whole time, and weren't actually very interested in what we wanted to talk about. They wanted to talk about their lives: work, houses, children, the pub.....It took us a while to get used to, but now what is nice about going home is that it is so familiar. We save the talk about our travels and adventures for other travellers.

We have friends here in Bangkok who are experiencing it from the other side. They are Thai but went abroad to school and university. Now they are back and their friends have moved on, got married, had children etc. and they find themselves needing to meet new people. They also feel different to their old friends. Reply to this

5 years ago, September 20th 2016 No: 4 Msg: #198136  
Great topic...

For me I remember when I first set out on my journey in 2009-2011 without being back in the states once in those 2 years and the immense shock of being back in a place ( this was before I was a teacher , I went back to work and get my teaching credentials before leaving for good) it was just awkward, I can't explain it ..I guess it was just a feeling of not being where I wanted to be which was exploring and instead having to go back to that dreaded 9-5 crap that got me. I also started noticing how really lucky we were to have anything you wanted at the drop of a dime..food, comforts etc etc which isn't like that the majority of the time when u are backpacking. I think the mentality of "my people" really made me not want to live that kind of life anymore much prefer living abroad which is why I've only been to the states 4 times in 7 years. Reply to this

5 years ago, September 21st 2016 No: 5 Msg: #198153  
The problem is when you have found a place that is so amazing that you consider it home but you have to leave to somewhere else and feel so down and depressed because you don't know if you'll ever be able to go back and settle there Reply to this

5 years ago, October 7th 2016 No: 6 Msg: #198303  
I completely understand the topic creator. I recently came back to China and met up with some old friends. All of them moved on with their lives. Gotten married and had children, good jobs. one evening I had to look at a friend I had known for twenty years and realized that there was this distance between us. I was off seeing the places I had not a lot had changed with him. He was still in the same job he was in when I left the first time in 2008. same exact position. he was happy with it so I cant really blame him for it. But for the rest of the people I met up with we had shared stories of our lives since we had last seen each other. I met one friends youngest for the first time. his oldest remembered me and knew that I had been in China. it is definitely different. Reply to this

5 years ago, October 7th 2016 No: 7 Msg: #198307  
But don't forget that the people you know and love at home are still your friends. You have changed by seeing the world and probably will find it hard at some time fitting back into some sort of routine, and your friends who never left for adventure may look at you differently now. You don't have to have the exact same interests as your buddies and travelling is something that not everyone finds so appealing. Reply to this

5 years ago, October 13th 2016 No: 8 Msg: #198353  
Great topic!

In 2007, we took spent 2 months traveling in the U.S. visiting friends and family. Then we spent 3 months in Southeast Asia, 1 month in New Zealand, 2 months in Australia and a couple of weeks in Europe on our trip back to the U.S. Toward the end we were a little tired and feeling ready to go home although I will say that we enjoyed every last minute.

It was great to get back home to see family and friends. We had a feeling...that "the big trip" we took would "get it out of our system"
HA! It merely created a beast. Traveling, meeting new people, experiencing new cultures, seeing the sights and eating amazing foods cannot be forgotten. Now nearly an addiction.

So-- we went back to work and tried to convince ourselves we could go back to the American grind of taking 2 or 3 weeks off each year. HA!

2011 rolled around and we found a way to travel for another 6 months. Iceland, Greenland, Faroe Islands, Shetland Islands, Denmark, Germany, Nepal, Bhutan, India, Burma, Philippines, and Cuba.

Most of our friends are rooted and don't really understand our travel life.


In 2014 We spent a month in Ireland.

Busy--- planning our next escape. Love it, the planning and the experiencing.
Life is short-- live it to the fullest.

Re-entry is hard because your friends are generally in the same place you left them and you've changed by the experiences. Although there is a solid group of friends that are never ending, never changing.


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5 years ago, October 17th 2016 No: 9 Msg: #198389  
In response to: Msg #198307
that is so true. I remember more than once sitting on a friends back deck with a beer in hand, regaling them with some of the adventures I have had traveling. looking back on this times I can say that most of them were glued to the stories. Its true traveling is not for everyone it does change a person. They are, in some aspects, on their own adventures, their own journey through life. The friend with the back deck, the last time I saw him and his wife then had their first child. I was there for his birth. Seeing him now turning 5. was definitely worth while. Reply to this

5 years ago, November 7th 2016 No: 10 Msg: #198598  
I remember time when I traveled and worked in Russia long time. Maybe 4 month, can't say exactly already. So, it was really hard to go back home because I liked this country and just got used to local people, found friends. It was like cutting such a huge part of me. But the most funny thing that when I came back home at airport I was denied to cross the boarder and you know why? Because I was so long time living in Russia and it means that I can be a spy or kind of. Stupid you can say and I said the same. But I called my friend from <snip> and he figure it out and I finally came back home.
[Edited: 2016 Nov 08 11:28 - traveltalesofawoollymammoth:258356 - No URL's allowed]
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