Tipping

Wow. I just read through this entire thing. Time to weigh in!

A lot of people have made a lot of good points, and there's not a whole lot that hasn't been said, but I'd like to address a couple things.

The first is that in America, people who work in restaurants do not always have the option of quitting. While many will protest and say "you always have that option!" the truth is that even those of us who work in food service temporarily to pay for school or while we get our feet on the ground (or to pay for travel!) can't just pick up and leave due to the state of unemployment services and the bizarre stratification of jobs that precludes simply "changing careers" for those without high school/college degrees. Most career wait-staff's choice is not between the hospitality industry and something else, but rather between the hospitality industry and NOTHING.

The second is something that's been touched on, which is that while not tipping may seem like a form of protest against a broken system to you, its very similar to the age-old concept of shooting the messenger. We don't make the decisions in the industry, and assuming that we have a say in how it works is not only silly but dare i say it a little bit ignorant. Just like in the oil industry, the movie industry, or any other industry, dealing a blow against low-level workers (like demanding writers get paid less or refinery workers work longer hours) does little other than hurt subordinates in the system.

The third is something quite practical and quite harsh. If you aren't going to tip, and you know this, and you know you will be expected to, do not go out to eat in America. That table will most likely be filled by someone who WILL, and the table's server will be more likely to make ends meet as a result. I was in Israel this past winter and while in the Arab part of Jerusalem had the opportunity to listen to a non-profit coordinator speak on the conflict there. At the beginning he made it clear he would be accepting donations to make up for the time he was missing from work as a construction worker in Ramallah (in the West Bank). I didn't have any cash on me and the room had a limited number of seats, so I declined to hear the talk and had a friend who had cash give me the run-down later.

Point being: when you are aware of an expectation and feign ignorance in the name of protest, you hurt only the server, who in most cases will be trying to do his or her best to serve you.

When i tip, I tip 10-20%. If I was given awful service, I demand a refund or a free meal from the manager. If it was the server's fault, I tell them so, leave them a tiny tip, and tell the manager. I would expect no less if I were the server.

America is a screwed up place, but not "playing ball" as quoted from Reservoir Dogs changes nothing. So don't do it. Reply to this

For me the "tip" is a bonus for the person serving me for a great effort in serving or for a fantastic meal in which case I demand some of the tip go to the Chef. I don't like the idea of the US tipping system but its the way things are so I go along with it. However, the idea of the whole US system is to make sure you're getting the best service but if you dont, it should be reflected in the amount being tipped. I'm happy for them to winge and complain because I didn't tip enough for bad service, stuff 'em they should've done their job properly. I loved that episode of 3rd Rock From The Sun where he couldn't understand the tipping system so he layed out money on the table and told the waiter "This is your potential tip and if you do something bad I will deduct money from it". I was very funny but in a way, not a bad idea.

When I was living in Berlin we went to a club called Weekend. It was a great club at the top of a large building overlooking the city. However after paying around 25 euros for the privilege of entering and parting with over 5 euros for each beer, the old lady in the toilet, sitting there doing nothing when the place was a mess, wanted a tip. She kept yelling at me when I went in and wouldn't tip so I told her actually keep the place clean and I would think about it.

Here in Brazil, 10% is automatically added to your bill. "Automatic tips" really piss me off, especially in Brazil where a lot of the time, the service leaves a lot to be desired. In theory, you don't HAVE to pay it but try explaining that to the waiter and see what reaction you get. I understand that waiters in Brazil earn next to nothing and work very long hours so I'm happy to pay the extra 10% but not much more.

Im not a big tipper, I believe it is the servers job to serve me well and if they do a great job I dont mind leaving a little extra or rounding up the bill. I have worked as pretty much every different type of hospitality staff from waiter to chef to manager and I always appreciated a tip but never expected it. Granted I have never worked in the US but personally, if for some reason I moved there, I would do something else. Reply to this

First, most servers are very courteous and helpful. They know they have to be to get tips. The truth is that its easier to remember the bad service than it is the good.

Second, i'd like some good, sound, philosophical backup for your claim regarding choice. feel free to PM me, I'd love to discuss this with you, i'm a bit of a philosophy buff.

Third, you're right, its much easier to be lazy than it is to change, but its also easier still to simply quit. Why don't all servers quit if they're inherently lazy? Please don't assume that we are without truly getting to know us.

Fourth, you're right, people do work hard for their money, and you shouldn't have to give it to a bad server. But the social obligation is only arbitrary if you're the servEE and not the servER.

Lastly, I think you make a good point. I quit. Serve yourself! Reply to this

Its also a matter of what you think you should do. Just because it's America and some clearly don't have any respect for our customs, because for some reason we don't deserve the observation of it, even though every American I've ever traveled with will change all of their customary actions to fall in line with another culture's customs... If I were to come to your home and not take my shoes off because I don't at my house, that's similar ignorance as to visiting the US, or even a particular state, and not making sure you understand the CUSTOMS of that area. It wasn't a farce when it was mentioned that waiters make under $3 an hour, even in finer establishments. Sure you have a choice, you don't have to take the shoes off, but your dishonoring a custom not to do so... I always adjust my tip for service, but I usually have meals ranging $25 - $40 for a couple of people so an extra $4 - $10 for decent service is what one should plan and BUDGET for. If your gonna blow all your $100 on a meal, i recommend you don't do it because you are going to hurt someone if you just pay and leave because they did an "alright" job. The custom is to tip, I don't know what to do about customs you don't agree with, but i know as an American, it is my custom to respect those of others.

BTW, a $1 tip for a $7 drink really isn't bad, you should have the mindset going in that even a free drink will cost you a buck...

-Zach Reply to this

....one I was fully prepared and willing to respect...

I can never understand why people insist on feeling disrespected because of what others are wearing? Why exactly is the sight of shoulders and knees offensive? Isn't it about time people started making sense instead of just spouting about how they will be offended if we dont do something that has no real beneficial effect? The tipping ''custom'' much as I dont like it actually makes more sense than this clothes custom.

Reply to this

Sometimes when I see people wearing very little clothes...

Do you mean like the ones in this photo Cosmic Treehouse? :D

People wearing little more than underwear
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to #49:

I think its very arbitrary to class tipping as a separate custom simply because its involves money. Doing this elevates your cash as a singular category above the amalgamation of all human emotions and thoughts that are contained in other customs. Does tipping piss you off so much that you feel compelled to place it thusly, or are you simply reacting to the overemphasis on money that we put on ourselves in the "civilized" world?

Stating that you are not there to be the employer of the staff is 100% correct: you are not there to manage them nor are you there to tell them their daily table assignments, make sure they get scheduled correctly, pay for their health insurance, provide uniforms, make sure they know the menu, or teach them how to be courteous. Dramatizing it in this way does very little to understand the conflict.

But you raise an important question: What IS the responsibility of a patron to a restaurant? To pay for your meal, to be courteous and not infringe upon the rights of others, and to follow the rules of the restaurant, both implicit and explicit. There is probably not a sign in many restaurants telling you not to urinate in the water glasses. You don't do that, though. There isn't even a sign telling you not to swear in front of other patron's kids. You still don't do that. It just seems like common sense because you're a GUEST in this place.

To Americans, tipping is SO common-sensical that its been institutionalized through the legal system. There are no enforcements, simply an implicit rule of restaurant patronage that states something that you should do in restaurants. If you don't want to, do exactly what you did at that temple: leave! No one says you have to eat in restaurants, and the only reason you would dare not tip is because they don't ask you for it up front. There's an element of "beating the system" in that regard that reinforces whatever legitimate feelings you may have about the imperfect nature of the system.

If it were you waiting tables, would you want people to tip? Would you be furious if they didn't, even if you did a great job? Would you try to maximize your tips if they were your only income? Reply to this

Oh... restaurant tipping. We are almost always none tippers. This is why:

If you are a server, you applied for the job, did the interview and willingly accepted it, knowing it meant you had to run around and take orders
and bring food to a table. We get that it's hard work, but it's your job. If you don't like it, then don't do it. I don't want to shovel dog shit, so I don't apply for jobs where that would be required. If you can't support yourself on the hourly wage alone, then get another job. That logic, the "I need tips to pay my rent" is ridiculous, we refuse to by into it. It is not my responsibility to make sure your ends meet. Just, as I'm sure, you could care less if I'm coming up a little short on my car insurance payment. It's not your problem.

I can't support myself on $10/hr, so I don't apply for the $10/hr job. I apply for one where I know I will make enough money to cover my expenses. And it's not that "it's not that easy", because it is. You can stock shelves in a supermarket or deliver newspapers or work at Walmart. There are a million jobs out there, almost all of them as easy to get as serving (in most cases, easier). We can't stand the logic that servers should get "something extra" just for doing what they're paid to do! I was paid to answer telephones and explain memberships, should I get a little something extra too? Trevor was paid to fix compressors, at the end of the day should he go to his boss and say "Gee Boss, I did a really good job on that compressor, I was fast and there weren't any problems, shouldn't I get a little bonus or something?" That's retarded!!!

That being said, there are times that we do tip, but it's not very often. Expecting a tip ensures you won't get one (in our case anyways). Tips is an acrynom meaning "To Insure Proper Service", and just taking my order, getting me a clean spoon and bringing the bill is not good service. It's what's expected of you! And, it's not like we're old bitchy rich people either. We both used to serve, we know how hard it is, all we ask is that you come with a smile, refill the coffee cups and don't make us hunt you down when we drop a spoon! You'd be surprised how hard that is to find! Just "doing your job" (and most times, barely that) doesn't automatically garuntee a tip, even if your rent depends on it. That attitude really needs to be changed!
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I completely agree that tips are voluntary is all other aspects, with the exception of the American restaurant industry, where a tip isn't "something extra" but actually a hidden service charge. The words "tip" or "gratuity" do mean something extra, voluntary, in addition to, etc, everywhere but restaurants where it is used more colloquially and (hence the reason for such mis-communication) incorrectly.

As I see it, the tipping system in the American restaurant industry is extremely instructive of American culture at large (which is the only reason I see it necessary to post again as I already added my two cents), and by that I mean it appears to give you a value you actually don't get. As I mentioned earlier, the food costs "look" lower, because the cost of your service isn't included. The server, the restaurant and the US government expects you to make up that hidden "service charge." Just like you are also expected to pay the hidden cost of taxes. It is not simply that employee complaining they can't make ends meet--the government expects them to have earned those tips as well when taxes roll around.

Even though it makes no sense at all, customers think they're getting a better value if they price listed is lower, even if they have to tack on multiple hidden fees before the final tab is tallied. I know, that's ridiculous, but a lot of people just aren't good at math, nor are they good at understanding social psychology. It's the same reason items are advertised as $499.99 instead of $500.00 or as "three easy payments of $19.95!" rather than as $60. So really, the tipping system isn't there to force the server to beg for tips or even for the restaurant to not have to pay that individual. It's to draw more customers into the restaurant and have the customer 'think' they are getting a better value, and therefore encourage them to spend more before the final tab is tallied. The net result is, of course, that the server then has to rely on tips to get paid. "Working for tips." Reply to this

I just want you non-tippers to know that here you'd be coming across as kind of rude and unsophisticated if you didn't tip.

Strange to see it described like this because the US restaurant tipping system is often considered unsophisticated in Europe. Bottomless coffee is beside the point. There is just something a bit crude about those who need to be payed to be pleasant. Reply to this