Richard Cranium

They say that the south island is more spectacular than the north, its certainly bigger and got less people and with so few people in such a vast expanse ominously the locals have apparently 'adapted' to become a "rugged" and "individual" breed. Our plan was to travel down the length of the west coast on State Hwy 6 as far south as Queenstown and then double back crossing over to the east coast to finish in Christchurch; and in another 16 days and 2000 kilometres thats exactly what we did. Across the Cook Strait the ferry winds its way through the convoluted maze of waterways known as the Marlborough Sounds and into Picton the gateway to the south. We didn't hang around and having established a route we made for Westport. It was about time to ... read more

G'day. What is crazy... casually but potentially dangerously weaving through traffic at will to cross the road or pressing a button and having to wait to cross even if the road is empty because of the fear of an illogical fine? Or, pavements with gaping holes and signs overhanging that pavement which are likely to rip your head off or a culture where people are suffocated by a blanket of safety and can blame someone else for their own idiocy and lack of attention thereby relinquishing all personal responsibility and people live in fear of being sued? Or that a commodity such as bottled water costs next to nothing or the danger of suffering a heart attack and developing a physical tick when exactly the same thing costs ten times the price?! Or that you can ... read more

''Well of course the universe is gradually slowing down and will eventually collapse inwardly on itself according to the laws of entropy when all its thermal and mechanic functions fail, thus rendering all human endeavour ultimately pointless'' - Bill Bailey So now this post has a context I can continue... Cambodia's relatively recent history continues in the same vain as its surrounding neighbours, in a nutshell, arguing amongst themselves before and during the French arrived and conquered then eventually the USA sent in Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone to get the job done but failed. This story however is a little more sinister... In 1953 King Norodom Sihanouk demanded the French leave and during the following decade declared Cambodia neutral to international quarrels, but his friendly relationship with communist China sparked anger with the US which ... read more

Made it to Laos, the most bombed nation in the world and i'm still not allowed to touch people with my feet. We crossed the border from Chiang Kong into Huay Xai with no problems and waited for our boat. Now I had visions of demi-grandeur not unlike a Mississippi steamer to float down the Mekong for two days but instead it was nothing more than a glorified longtail boat - if you sat at the front you couldn't sit because there wasn't any seats, if you sat at the back you went temporarily deaf from the roaring engine and if you sat in the middle you got a bench made out of the fucking hardest wood known to man. We stopped over for the night about halfway in Pakbeng and apart from having to outsmart ... read more

There is only one word that can describe the journey from Ao Nang to Ko Samui - wank - although no pleasure was involved only the effort. In brief an overland journey landed us in the south-eastern mainland port town Surat Thani. Being the only westerners on the bus we were herded off and taken to this blokes restaurant and left to stew (with a menu) thinking this is a little strange, where's the boat? Turns out the port was actually still one hour away and this dubious detour had meant we missed our scheduled boat; i was mad. Anyway we eventually got released and caught a later boat after this guy realised we weren't gonna spend any money in his establishment - what a dick. In true butterfly effect this now meant we arrived at ... read more