Same Same, But Different

---

There is only one word that can describe the journey from Ao Nang to Ko Samui - wank - although no pleasure was involved only the effort. In brief an overland journey landed us in the south-eastern mainland port town Surat Thani. Being the only westerners on the bus we were herded off and taken to this blokes restaurant and left to stew (with a menu) thinking this is a little strange, where's the boat? Turns out the port was actually still one hour away and this dubious detour had meant we missed our scheduled boat; i was mad. Anyway we eventually got released and caught a later boat after this guy realised we weren't gonna spend any money in his establishment - what a dick. In true butterfly effect this now meant we arrived at the night port of Ko Samui and as pointed out by the, ahem, sympathetic taxi driver we were miles from Chaweng Beach and the only people that needed a ride so it'll cost a fortune - man, I hate having my balls squeezed.

Ko Samui, is like a beautiful woman who wears too much make-up, it's ridiculously over developed and in my opinion ruined. But, having found a room for the night we headed to the beach for something to eat after having walked around the discotheques smiling politely at gyrating Thai girls and lonely hearts ad's. While eating you are interrupted by locals dumping snakes, lizards and monkeys on you for those tourist holiday photograph opportunities or being challenged by a young Thai boy for a wagered game of Connect 4 - speaking of dumps, that day was worse for Sian she got the shits.

Chaweng essentially consists of a strip with everything located within a mile radius so no need for taxi's right? Wrong. This market is saturated, there is literally a constant carnival procession at a slow crawl of nothing but cabs. So repeatedly if you're walking down the street a taxi will beep at you and shouts "Taxi!", you shout back "No", the taxi behind has obviously seen this unfold so in that two second interim as he now passes he must assume that you may have now decided you do need a taxi after all and have no idea where to find one, so he shouts "Taxi!" and you shout "leave me alone!". We left for Ko Pha-Ngan the next day.

Pha-Ngan, as the moon reaches its monthly climax is famous for its full moon rave party on Hat Rin Nok beach. Our visit didn't coincide quite with the lunar calender but all the same the island is still a veritable drug buffet for most at any time and to that affect I did see one guy sitting down hunched over pissing up into his own mouth. Nice.
Our nights consisted of buckets on the beach, paper laterns and the mandatory fire shows and games - I'll always be reminded of Thailand when I get a whiff of paraffin, or raw sewage for that matter. My days were usually spent in the recovery position but one day we did hire a quad bike and partook in a death race on the unruly roads to explore the North of the island and snorkel around Koh Mah - a small adjoining island - don't worry Mum, i'm still taking care, the bike topped out at 60mph anyway...

We're now in Ko Tao - "Same Same, But Different" - a phrase used here which pretty much sums it up. Tomorrow we leave behind the island life to do a visa run into Burma then head on an overnight sleeper train to Bangkok before continuing North. Yesterday we went on an all day snorkelling tour around the islands bays and dive sites - having spent many hours bobbing face down in the water the back half of my body caught the sun a little - I am now a 5ft 11' crabstick.

I'm going to go for a traditional Thai massage now and get bent and twisted into several different positions for an hour or so and thats not even the 'special'.

---