To parents with teens or grown up kids

What age were your kids when you first felt you could leave them at home for several hours per day without an adult, while you travelled?

My daughter will be 12 next year. For the last 6 years, I have taken her travelling with me, when my boyfriend could not take time off work, or I went travelling for a short amount of time on my own. It would be a mega treat for me, if I could go travelling for a month by myself next year. I havent done that, for around 15 years. Last time, I had that much time all at once to travel was before my daughter was born, and when I was switching from one job to another and just told them I will start in a month, because I want some time off.

The problem is, my boyfriend wouldnt be able to get a whole month off work, so my daughter would be home alone for around 6 hours per day. My boyfriend would be there, when she goes to school in the mornings and when she goes to bed at night.

What do you think about the plan? I am thinking, 12 is quite old, and if she has access to my boyfriend by email while he is working, she should be OK. On the other hand, she does have some nice friends, but there are also some terrible kids in the neighbourhood. I am unsure if she would be OK alone, if those kids pester her, especially if they know I am away. My boyfriend is a bit uneasy about the idea, but I think he will be OK with it, after I make a reassuring plan. My daughter is excited about the idea of having the house to herself for some time everyday. She says, her friends are allowed do that and she wants to do it too.

Anyway, I have plenty of time to decide, as I would not be buying the plane ticket until the end of this year. Hopefully, I will have lots of opinions from other parents, or even teachers if there are any reading this, before I decide. 😊 Reply to this

Thanks Bob! 😊

I think, you are right. I think, I will go.

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When I was in the 5th grade (so.... 11, 12) I was responsible for getting myself and my younger sister home from school and taking care of things until my mother got home several hours later. It's a fairly common age, I think, for kids to start taking on more independence and responsibility.

Have a few "trial run" nights before you go, just so that questions that arise can be discovered before you're away. Reply to this

Mell, dont stress..your daughter will cope just fine and hopefully so will your boyfriend. I think at her age she is well and truly capable and probably will appreciate the opportunity to show she can be trusted to look after herself. My boys apparently are much better behaved when I am away than when I am home!

My boys are now 17 and almost 16. They stay with their dad or aunt and uncle when Im away or with giant if it turns out to be a period when i dont want to kill him.

I would suggest a couple of three day weekenders just to make sure she and your partner cope..you may be suprised to find she will be fine or she may decide to invite friends over (as my sons do tooooo often!) so you can then guage how she is going to behave.

Facebook out of control parties here are a big issue. I guess theres a big difference between 12 and 17 but I do know of several parents who have gone away even overnight and found their childs invite to a few friends went ''viral'' and got out of control. Having your partner there at night will drastically stop any chance of this happening....which is why I always leave the boys WITH someone even though they are more than capable of surviving without me for a couple of weeks now. Its that knowing there is an adult there that guarantees every one peace of mind. Reply to this

Hi Mel, My son is 12 and I can leave him for a couple of hours a day at a time, I trust him but its just the loneliness of being on your own everyday for a longer amount of time that worries me because I have been there and done it. You know your daughter and how she would cope on her own etc, I personally wouldn't leave my kids for that long each day but it also depends where you live. We live in the North of England so we would probably get shopped to Child Protection Services if we did lol xx Reply to this

Thanks for the comments, Lisa and Tam. 😊 I still have plenty of time to decide. I'll see how things look later this year, and then make up my mind about what to do.

...so we would probably get shopped to Child Protection Services if we did...

Goodness me! I hope you are exaggerating, but unfortunately probably not. I used to be a member of a parenting site, and heard some bizarre accounts from some of the parents about people who reported things they shouldnt to the child protection services, and about others who didnt report things when they should have.

... is it vacation time and thats why she isnt at school?

Here in Germany, they go to school earlier in the morning, and then get out earlier than the kids in many other schools do.

...anything silly like invite 4 strange boys over...

Currently, there is only one friend she is allowed to have in the house, when me and my boyfriend aren't there to supervise. Says a lot about what people in my neighbourhood are like, doesnt it when there is only one family we trust, when we are not here. Well, the people are not all that bad, I suppose. They just tend to be a bit tiresome, with their conservative ways, and overly complicate the most ordinary aspects of everyday life. 😉 Reply to this