Hello Shaantiom 😊
I dont think your husband disapproves of your travel dreams, but he is raising some concerns about the reality of them. You dont have to give up your travel dream. You just make a plan to show him how it is all going to pan out. Also, include in the plan what he is going to get out of all this. ie How are you going to share the money, so he gets something he loves and what is your time together going to be like and how much of it will there be, and what will communications be like when you are travelling.
It was the same in my relationship with my boyfriend and father of my child. I also have an appartment that I bought. So marriage, parenting and mortages can all be squashed into one life.
About your job, dont worry too much about the step of giving that up, unless you love that particular job and want it in your life for more than the money. If children are going to be in your life in the near future, somebodies job will be sacrificed, or else there will be child care expenses, house cleaning expenses, so there wouldnt be much of the second income left at the end of it anyway.
Here is the plan I have with my boyfriend that keeps up both happy:
He likes to go out every weekend, go to Heavy Metal festivals and have computer equipment to play video games on.
I like to travel, eat out, cook, buy clothes and things for the house.
So, everytime he does something that is of less interest to me, I add the same as what he spends to my travel savings. So, for our priorities we both get the same. There are some things we like to share, but not if we have to give up what we love for it. But, we do make sure we have money and time to do some stuff we both like together, such as he sometimes comes travelling with me, and we go someplace together on birthdays etc...
We also plan in our budget how the mortgage is going to be payed, and how we will pay for other things.
Your husband seems to be particularly concerned that you will change when you travel. Well, I think since you have wanted to travel for so long, you will be developing rather than changing. I would in this situation include him in your travel plans, even if he is not comming with you. He can be your at home security person, who looks after copies of your passport, tickets etc, to call the consulate in case anything happens and he can look up information you need and book things from home for you for increased credit card security etc. He can also be available to wire you money in case you are unlucky enough to get robbed. But, dont worry too much about these things, because in my 22 years of travel, I have only been robbed twice, and they didnt get enough of my money in order of rme to need more wired to me. But, it is nice to have somebody at home looking out for you. He can also keep an eye on current affairs on the news, and let you know if there is anything that should be avoided on your current travel path.
Also, when he has plans to meet up with you on your travels, email him about what special things you could do together when he arrives and ask his opinion or ask him to choose from a couple of options. This is what I do with my boyfriend. He usually doesnt mind which of the options we do, because it is all new for him, but I think he likes that I am making plans for us to do something together, rather than being so distracted by my travels that I have forgotten about him.
And, if you have that 'what if I dont go home fantasy... I could sell pina coladas to backpackers under an umbrella on the beach, or I could have a wooden shack that I keep paying guests in on some island...' dont email your husband about this fantasy. Every travelller has this fantasy while dozing in the hamock or whatever, but it generally only lasts 20 minutes or provides an hour of entertainment to any backpackers you tell about it, but it will likely be taken very seriously by your husband.
Mel
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