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Am I too Old?!!

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Im 29, don't have a career, thinking of going back to Oz...
8 years ago, November 2nd 2010 No: 1 Msg: #122242  
Ok, Im 29. I dont have a career, I basically find work where I can get it. Im thinking of going back to Australia as I earned a 2nd year visa in 2006. The only thing is, I've got a horrid nagging feeling that I need to get studying, to make a career for myself, to settle down etc etc. And If I go to Australia, its going to be too late for all that!! Its what people are saying basically, when are you going to grow up and produce children!! Im after any advice from people who have been in the same situation as me, and done it anyway..I would love to hear your stories. I basically need a kick up the botty!! In my heart I want to go back to Oz...I know Ill regret it if I dont. (They dont let you in after 30 on a working holiday visa, right??) Im feeling a little useless as most of my mates have been to uni, are earning good money and also my little sister has just started uni...Im feeling a little bit lost!! Reply to this

8 years ago, November 2nd 2010 No: 2 Msg: #122244  
Also, Im going on my own (if I go) so any advice about that!! Im hoping it will help beat the shyness!! Reply to this

8 years ago, November 2nd 2010 No: 3 Msg: #122246  
Hello Marie 😊

Yeah, I think I know how you feel. I have always been the one from my friends and siblings who does things in life at unconventional times, instead of at the ages most others do them at. It can get confusing and make you doubt yourself, when you are doing something that so many are question and/or critisise.

The thing about producing children, you dont actually know where the father of these children is to be found. He might be in Australia, and you might be about to go there and meet him. Or the reason the father falls in love with you when you return to the UK may have something to do with your adventurous spirit, whereas he would not have noticed you otherwise. If you are not already in a committed relationship, then I would not let the producing children be a factor in your decision.

Studying: Maybe you are not cut out for the doing the type of study many others do. One thing I regret is having spent so much time at university failing stuff. I should never have been there. I may have the brain cells, but I dont have the temperament. I need more variety, and a series of challanges, rather than 4 years spent slogging away at getting a degree. All my siblings and the friends I went to school with are super achademics and have multiple degrees, and of course I have felt the pressure to be like that, but there is more than one way to get qualified. In company training, experience, shorter college courses that you can add to... I did a mixture of shorter courses, experience and in company training, after I left the university and did a bit more travelling.

As for going on your own, I have done that many times. Just go, and dont think too much about it, or you might procrastinate. Procrastinating hurts more than taking a leap, because you are not doing what you want to be doing. At worse the leap will result in more temporary panics that things might not work out, especially when something goes wrong, but in my experience things always work out one way or another. You just have to have faith in that, and remember it when you need reassurance .

Mel

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8 years ago, November 2nd 2010 No: 4 Msg: #122275  
Marie,

It sounds to me like you are at a crossroads and might be considering a new path. I'm sure many of us will provide you a couple of things to think about. I'm a little older than some that will respond so my perspective may be a bit different. I'm in my early 50's.

I went to college when I was supposed to but was not focused so after two years I jumped into the work world. I was unsatisfied with the jobs available to me so after a few years I went to nursing school. Simply one of the best decisions I've ever made. It provides me a stable income and allows me to travel. I've never been a super academic as Mell said about her family but I've always had drive and initiative. Any way-- nursing has allowed me to feed my hunger for travel.

Only you can answer the question of that nagging feeling about studying and building a career. Is it time to do that?

MJ Reply to this

8 years ago, November 3rd 2010 No: 5 Msg: #122281  
Too old? Naw. Of course, I never could relate to that biological clock thing. I had big plans to do all those things, and never planned to get married and have children. Well, things didn't work out that way. But I have no regrets. My kids are raised, and I never found the right guy until now (but we're just good friends). And I still figure there's time to go do the things I want to do (after all, I'm not dead yet. lol)
Why would it be too late in Australia? Or anywhere else, for that matter? Have you thought of a student exchange or something? Maybe mission work, or some sort of work program? I'm sure that there's plenty of programs that will meet all of your needs. I'd look around first, before you give up on it. Besides, starting a relationship when you're less than satisfied with your life may backfire. lol of course, you may meet somebody while you're traveling... I don't know. Good luck. XD Reply to this

8 years ago, November 3rd 2010 No: 6 Msg: #122285  
B Posts: 11.5K
> In my heart I want to go back to Oz

Then I say go back to Oz. As Mel suggested, it may turn out that Australia is where your future is - and I believe life should be about not having regrests and wondering 'what if?'.

You can commence study at any age, and possibly even start it while in Australia by correspondence/online depending on what area it is. I didn't start at uni until I was 30 - it would have been a waste of time and money for me to have gone before I decided that it was what I wanted to do after all.


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8 years ago, November 3rd 2010 No: 7 Msg: #122323  
thanks guys for your insight!! Im still umming...xx Reply to this

8 years ago, November 3rd 2010 No: 8 Msg: #122324  
Follow your heart....they have schools there Reply to this

8 years ago, November 3rd 2010 No: 9 Msg: #122333  
B Posts: 11.5K
> Follow your heart....they have schools there

I like that response :-) Reply to this

8 years ago, November 5th 2010 No: 10 Msg: #122394  
B Posts: 20
I definitely believe that you regret the things that you DON'T do much more than the things that you DO do. At least you won't have any regrets...

I booked a one way flight to Australia nearly 2 years ago now and I've loved every minute! Reply to this

8 years ago, November 5th 2010 No: 11 Msg: #122445  
Thanks guys, you've given me much to think about :DDD Reply to this

8 years ago, November 7th 2010 No: 12 Msg: #122529  
B Posts: 897
If you have already had a visa in 2006 (was it a student visa?) have you thought about as others have said studying here...we have world class universities and schools and all qualifications offered by Aus edu institutes are recognised as international qualifications.

Dont listen to time..its a thing society imposes on us. Dont listen to reason or logic, especially other peoples, do what you feel you need to do.

If you do give studying here a second thought you are welcome to PM me..im kind of in the business and can possibly help let you know what fields of study will help you get in. We have tightened right up on the student visas so there are no longer the easy arts degrees or fashion design tech courses getting people into the country. You need to be studying in a skills shortage area. We have enough baristas.

Best of luck and hope you do come back...but be prepared for the shock in the cost of living increase since 2006. Reply to this

8 years ago, November 7th 2010 No: 13 Msg: #122554  
Well, my first big overseas journey (one year) did not occur until I was 27 and the destination was Europe. Now, there were a lot of people who didn't think I should go - actually it was almost unanimous. I left my job (which I didn't like) and had a one way ticket. Being a male I didn't receive the "you need to settle down and have kids" argument but the "you should use the money to buy a property" argument added to the "you need to think about your career" one as well.

It was a tough decision to make, and the opinion of others did have me doubting, but in the end off I went into the yonder. Coming back was mighty difficult, no job, no car, nowhere to live - and it took me about a year to settle, but once that occurred it was fine.

However, it was one of the most critical decisions I have ever made in my life. The path my life took after that journey changed dramatically; it did not happen immediately (in fact it took a few years) but it eventually happened. The type of career I was after became significantly different, and the type of friends I hung around changed as well.

From a relationship perspective, I meet far more potential partners on the road than sitting here in Australia - mostly because of my attraction to different cultures or to the people who wish to explore them. Once you have followed your heart by travelling, that will mould you into a different person, and finding any partner at that time is better (as you now have a different perspective and preferences) rather than before you go through this change and experience, which may cause you and your partner to 'grow apart'.

You will obviously receive a "go travel!" bias from this site, but it is than about travel, it is about choosing your path in life rather than letting others choose it for you. Reply to this

8 years ago, November 8th 2010 No: 14 Msg: #122556  
Shane, I'd like to comment on your statement----


it was one of the most critical decisions I have ever made in my life. The path my life took after that journey changed dramatically; it did not happen immediately (in fact it took a few years) but it eventually happened. The type of career I was after became significantly different, and the type of friends I hung around changed as well.

I made the decision to go to school, work and try to build a career. I didn't take my RTW trip until I was 50 but it changed me dramatically. I too, found that it did not happen immediately-- well some things in my attitude changed immediately.... but I found that when I returned it took a while for all that I had seen and experienced to be absorbed into my consciousness. Some changes were quick but many were subtle. I think traveling is a remarkable experience but the year back at home-- or where you used to be can be an experience and life altering event in itself.

Things can be learned by allowing the trip to end. ( as long as you can figure out how to do it again)
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8 years ago, November 8th 2010 No: 15 Msg: #122557  
Couldn't agree with you more, some things did change for me immediately, but the more significant ones took time to absorb. Walking around the ancient temples of Egypt in 2002 impacted me significantly, but it took months and months to consider what I had experienced and what it meant to me and that inner journey only really completed itself towards the end of 2006.

On the other hand, after my first trip to India in 2004, the change happened as soon as I had distanced myself from the country - when I returned to Australia. So, as you said, the trip needed to end before I could learn from it. Reply to this

8 years ago, November 8th 2010 No: 16 Msg: #122604  
I felt I was at a similar point a few years ago when I first went to Oz...I was under a lot of pressure to start a career and "settle down". I had worked for a few months in a lab then decided to "run away" to Australia. I ended up canceling my Masters studies once I realized that I didn't want to be in the lab for the rest of my life, after working in a cafe and then for a tour company in Oz.

In the long run, what is a year? Why would it be different to "settle down" at 30 instead of 29? Go to Australia with the idea in mind that this time around you'll aim to learn heaps from your experiences. Seek out jobs or volunteer experiences that fall in your interests, ask people how they got those jobs and learn from their answers. You might not completely figure out what you want to do, but it's worth a try.

Plenty of my cousins have only just started career paths and families and they're well into their 30's. You've got plenty of time.

My argument for not "settling down" to my immediate family was: by the time people my age retire, the retirement age will be pushing 70. So if I want to work for 40 years, I don't need to start before 30. Why not go experience things while I'm still young enough to move without arthritis and having to take dozens of pills every day? 😊

And having just got married to an Aussie, I second Mell's comment that maybe you'll meet someone there, haha. Reply to this

8 years ago, November 8th 2010 No: 17 Msg: #122609  
In the end it just comes down to mathmatics - if there's something you really wanna do (ie go to Australia) and you don't do it, then you'll definitely regret it. 100%. On the other hand if you go ahead and do it then there's at most a 50% chance you'll regret it and a 50% chance that you'll have the time of your life. My personal prejudice tends to be that if what you really want to do is travel before you're 30 then you're highly unlikely to regret it if you go ahead and do it Reply to this

8 years ago, November 9th 2010 No: 18 Msg: #122644  
thankyou thankyou all!! I am going. Its decided. And I've come to realise that I can train at any age I want (I knew it anyway). Discovering I have a cousin out there it pretty awesome too. Thanks for all your help any thing else any one wants to add will be great :DD Reply to this

8 years ago, November 9th 2010 No: 19 Msg: #122646  
B Posts: 11.5K
Congratulations on the decision! :-) Reply to this

8 years ago, November 10th 2010 No: 20 Msg: #122750  
If you are too old, then I am a fossil! Go and have fun. And remember this wise quote from Baz Luhrmann:

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.



And if it makes you feel better, I studied for plenty of years because that was what was expected, didn't like the study, never finished and finally quit to travel which was what I wanted to do all along. So don't make my mistake!
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