Relocating

I moved to England in January because I need to work and save money for the next part of my backpacking trip. I plan to be here for up to two years. Whilst I found it easy to meet people in London, I'm now living in the much quieter Milton Keynes. For the first month and a half I found it very difficult to meet people and I was severely bored (and obviously rather lonely too). I've recently been lucky enough to meet two people in my area who I have a lot in common with, but it wasn't easy to find them!

What tips or tricks do people have for meeting others when you're living somewhere on your own (and don't have a car so it's not easy to get around). Has it been difficult for you? How long does it usually take to begin developing a social network? Any and all ideas welcome! Reply to this

Thanks Peter! I did try to do that by looking at a few choirs in the area. Sadly when I went to one I discovered just how little I can read music. It was through a writers group that I found one of my friends though. I hadn't thought about dance classes. I have always wanted to take swing or latin dance classes. Can't believe that thought never even crossed my mind! Thanks! 😊 Reply to this

Hi Stacey,
I've not moved abroad, yet, but have moved around quite a bit in the UK to towns where I don't know anyone.

Definitely joining clubs or evening classes is a good start. I did an art class for a few terms and that ended up being quite social after a while. And classes at the gym, yoga or dance at the local hall etc all good options. What about learning a language for the next part of your trip?

The best way I've found to meet people though is to get a part time job in a bar. Obviously it depends on what day job you have as to whether you can cope with extra hours, but not only is it a sure fire way to meet lots of people, it'll also mean you're saving more money for travels!

Also, where are you living? It's not always a success, but shared houses can result in making good friends with the people you live with, and their ready built network of friends.

Try gumtree to search for ideas for all the above, plus local paper, adult ed colleges for evening classes etc. And good luck, it's always a bit rubbish when you first move but suddenly a few months pass and you can feel like you've known people for ages. Reply to this

I'm currently living with a couple but things aren't going so well.

I think getting good housemates is a matter of very good luck. The ones I liked most were student buildings. Most people were easy going and there were always opportunities to chat with and hang out with people in them. Also, the buildings were looked after by an organisation, so the rent included all bills. It made everybody get along better, because nobody left their housemates with their unpaid bills and there was no fighting about who was responsible for what. Though, very clean and tidy folk would have found those places difficult to live in. Reply to this

Hi Stacey! Well, your personality on your blogs reflects someone who should not have too much trouble meeting people! Be patient, it will take time and effort, I think you are making a great start with writing groups and choirs.

How about your workplace? Or perhaps adult learning or night school? I signed up for language class and made a great friend. I like Mell's suggestion for flat mates. How about volunteering? If you are limited in getting around, maybe check out the local newspaper for events or activities. I signed up for a hiking club and met lots of people.

I think there will always be a certain 'loneliness' when living in a foreign country. That is probably why expats bond together! Maybe there is an Aussie group somewhere near you!! lol

I found living in a foreign country where I didn't speak the same language even more frustrating and exhausting...and I cried a lot. Checking emails and facebook regularly can actually have an adverse affect because you can keep track of what everyone is doing back home and it makes you more homesick.

Hang in there kid! Reply to this

I like being on facebook. Its better to be in contact with friends across the world than be sitting alone feeling totally friendless. Though I know what you mean about homesickness. Seeing photo's on facebook of friends at parties I missed is a little hard. But ultimately thank God for the internet!

I hadn't thought about looking in the local paper, thanks Andrea. My only thought was looking online. :p I guess I'm a product of my age. Hehe.

And earning extra in tips sounds good to me Frankwah! 😊 Reply to this

And toughing it out is always 'character building' if nothing else (at least that's what I tell myself!)

I think you tell yourself the right thing. I think toughing it out is the secret of success in so many situations. The more worthwhile something is, the more it often also tends to present things that need to be toughed out.

I moved to London, England when I was 19 by myself. I was desperately lonely, because I had been used to my band of friends and my family always being around. I had never been alone before. And then in London employers, landladies... were not as kind as the people I was used to dealing with in the village I came from in Ireland, which increased the lonliness. I told one person how I really felt. She advised me to move out of London. But, there was no way I was moving out of London. Despite the having to tough things out, London was the most exciting thing that ever happened to me, and I was full of hope and expectation, which fuelled me to tough it out. Then all of a sudden after having been there for 4 months, almost all the negative aspects that I had had to tough out disappeared. I packed in a job that was fairly well paid but mind numbingly boring to become a messanger who spent all working hours roaming around London. It was absolute fun. It was as if I was paid to be a tourist or traveller. I also moved out of a house I lived in with a b*tch of a landlady who had a problem with just about anything I did, into a shared flat with backpackers working in London for a while. The building was owned by an Australian backpacker who was doing it up to sell. It was run down and shabby, but the rent was very very inexpensive. Then I met my ex, who was a backpacker from Australia(not the landlord). I thought this travelling he had done was the most exciting thing I ever heard of and asked if I could come with him on his next trip. Then off I went with him after living together in London for several months, to discover my life time passion of travel. I loved him, but dont tell him that I loved the travel even more. Reply to this