Somebody call Guiness - it's a new world record!!!

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December 29th 2006
Published: September 30th 2017
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On the tender to Grand Cayman. Deep in thought ... pondering how it was physically possible for Tam to eat all that food last night.
Geo: 19.3022, -81.3857

Had the same ol' breakfast as yesterday ... and the day before ... and the day before that ... I feel like Bill Murray in "Groundhoug Day". Stuck in a loop, staring at the same plate of runny eggs, under-ripe fruit, and fatty bacon. What kind of life would that be, waking up everyday for the rest of your life, eating the same breakfast on the Carnival Valor? I guess it could be pretty great if you woke up every day and saw the SNG!

Off to Grand Cayman - saw Zahir, Tazmin, Hur, and the Chinese lady/daughter on the tender to shore. Hoping to do a beginner's scuba tour, but there weren't any being offered at the port. The best chance was to take a taxi to the beach and try there.

Hopped into a taxi for Seven Mile Beach - sat with a family and chatted with the dad. He owned an electronics manufacturing company - you know Koss, and other cheap electronics sold at Wal-Mart and places like that? This guy probably made it! All sorts of "brands" are made by his company but are basically the same product.

Got to the beach

From L-R: Tazmin (sp?), Zahir, Hur (sp?), and TEFKAT (The Eater Formerly Known as Tam). After last night's dinner, Tam is now known as "The Bottomless Pit".
- not much in the way of tours were being offered. Only certified dives were available and there weren't any kayak tours, either. Disappointing. Instead, we decided to chill on the beach. There was actually some sun and it was quite warm ... for about 45 minutes. Then the clouds and rain came!

We hid inside an open-air café right on the beach. Chatted with a couple from Montreal - they weren't big fans of Carnival either. The sun came back out after about an hour. Woo hoo! Back on to the sand ... for about 20 minutes. Then it rained again! We gave up and went back to Georgetown for some shopping. There wasn't much other than jewelry, watches, etc.

Tam bought a watch - we asked the lady if they could give a better price and to our surprise, she dropped it another 10%! It was funny - she was Filipino and asked if Tam was as well. As he paid, she asked if we were crew members - she thought that we were and gave us a crew discount! She was worried and told Tam to say that he was crew if anybody asked. Score! Wish

Seven Mile Beach, before it turned cloudy and rainy.
that I would have bought a watch too! Walked a bit more and then off to take the tender back to the ship. Saw Zahir, Tazmin, and Hur in line.

Back on the boat. Ladies and Gentlemen, we need to congratulate Tam - I believe he has set a new world record! Three dumps in less than 12 hours! A round of applause for Tam and Carnival on this incredible achievement! I should add that this is a "clean" record (as clean as it can be, I suppose!) - no performance-enhancing drugs were used. No Ex-Lax, Metamucil, or raw chicken will taint this accomplishment!

This makes a nice segue into ... dinner! Stuffed mushroom caps - mediocre. Spinach salad with bacon and sautéed mushrooms - good. This begs the question - is anything with bacon ever NOT good? The one exception is the time I made chocolate chip cookies with hazelnut and bacon. It was a failure ... but I'm sure that the Italians could make a damn fine gelato out of it!

Main course - lobster tail. Rubbery and bad. The Chinese mother ordered two for herself, and the waitress decided to bring an extra one

This creepy hobo was everywhere we went on the cruise! He liked to use bananas to show how he would "Luff you long, long time, only fi dolla!"
that Tam and I split. It was much better (hadn't been under the heat lamp for ages). Dessert was an apple napoleon - basically like an apple turnover. It wasn't bad for a turnover, but was sorely lacking as a fancier dessert.

Sadly, there were no SNG sightings today. We were crushed. Feelings of sadness, failure, and despair flooded us ... so we turned to our only friends on board - Rum, and his best friend Coke. Though I'm quite sure this happened on more than one occasion on the cruise, I remember leaning over to Tam during the show and saying "I'm a little f*cked up right now".

Back to the room ... our minds were filled with self-doubt ... how could we have missed the SNG today??? We stopped at the door and contemplated going on deck and flinging ourselves into the ocean. But then, out of the corner of our eyes ....

Stalking Update #9: 1:32:04 AM - ... we caught a glimpse of the SNG walking down the corridor! Hooray! Woo hoo! Hallelujah! The day was complete. We could sleep easy now.

Additional photos below
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It's Borat's father!!!

Did a little shopping in Georgetown before boarding the boat. Saw this statue and HAD to take a pic - this was the biggest, blackest Dick we'd ever seen!

Tam got stuck in his jacket while putting it on. Probably because he had a t-bone in one hand, and a rack of lamb in the other.

The grand atrium in the main lobby. It was supposed to be grandiose and awe-inspiring, but I found it to be tacky and over-done.

Boulangerie my ass!!! I looked and I looked, but couldn't find my beloved pain au chocolat!

I found the desserts to be a little lacking on board. I had trouble choosing what to have every night - not because there was too much choice, but because there wasn't anything that really stood out. I never had that problem on previous cruises - I usually ended up getting two, and in extreme cases, even three desserts. I waited and waited ... but sadly, they never served the ultimate dessert - whipped cream, chocolate fudge, and a maraschino cherry .... served atop one of the SNG. I would have ordered a double!!!

A dragon ice sculpture that probably took hours to carve. The workers were pretty pissed off when I hopped on it and started riding it. I don't understand why - I'm Chinese - riding an ice dragon is my birth-right! The bastards are lucky that I didn't sue them after - I ended up with frostbite in some pretty delicate areas afterward ....

I have to admit that Carnival really impressed me this evening - they managed to pump my stomach without spilling a drop on my white shirt! But then I found out there was an extra charge to NOT spill half-digested porterhouse and stomach acid on your shirt. That was the exact wording in the fine print!

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