Vigo, Spain then Vigo home!!

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During this cruise, and I know this will excite one of the readers of this blog, for the first time I have known Ukulele lessons on board led by our Bob Dylan guitar playing friend, Chris Ricketts. I understand from one of the participants that the ship only has 19 'ukes' on board. The demand is far outweighing the supply. I heard that Mr Ricketts is teaching these complete beginners 'Rockin' all over the world' by ‘the Quo' and ‘Eight Days a Week' by the Beatles. Forgive me for being old fashioned, and I'm sure I will be corrected by at least one of the readers of this blog, but these choices of repertoire is not exactly what I would say was written for the ‘Uke'. What happened to ‘Leaning on the Lamp post' and ‘Oh Mr Woo!!! All this hard work (4 lessons!) culminated in a public performance on the final day. I expected to see 19 middle aged men (and women) with tiny 4 stringed toy guitars giving it the Francis Rossi stance as they all strummed out of time another of his 3 chord mega songs!! And I wasn't disappointed as the attached video clip demonstrates. With the likelihood of upsetting at least one of the readers of this blog(!) who was probably excited at the start of this paragraph I do declare that the Ukulele is rather a tuneless instrument!!

On Princess Cruises art auctions are common place. I'm very interested to see who attends these events so I popped along to one to admire the beauty of some of the pieces and scratch my head at other so called ‘works of art' that come under the heading of surrealism and abstract. However, when scratching my head, I try not to make it look too obvious as some of these canvasses have reserve values of over $10,000. Come to think of it, waving to get someone's attention on the other side of the lounge because you have reserved them a seat is not a good idea. It could turn out to be a very expensive reservation!! (Especially if you use your numbered card provided to you to do the waving and shouting coo-ee in the direction of the auctioneer!!)

It only seems like last week we were listening to the melodic sounds of Berni Flint and laughing at his cheeky wit and repartee. Alas, Berni is no longer with us! Do not fret. He lives to ‘prey' on another cruise ship. He left the ship way back in Madeira. But every cloud…

For the rest of the cruise we have had the company of Kelly Monteith. He is best known for writing and starring in the BBC comedy show, Kelly Monteith in the early 1970s (a well thought out and original name for a comedy show!!) He performed as a guest comedian on NBC's The Tonight Show and BBC's Des O'Connor Tonight. He has also played in front of the Queen on the Royal Variety Performance. Kelly Monteith, his tag line should be ‘still trying to get a laugh'. You would have thought after all these years he would have got the hang of it by now!! His story telling reminded me of how Dave Allen would sound if he was less Irish and less funny!!

Our last port of call was Vigo in Northern Spain. We arrived just before midday and were due back on board at 5:30pm. Vigo is derived from the word, Vicus that means village in ancient Roman. Vigo clings to the slope of Monte del Castro, overlooking a namesake bay so vast, it could shelter an entire fleet. An important fishing and commercial port, Vigo was first settled by Celts 300 BC. The Celtic legacy lingers on in the province's old legends - and apparently the bagpipes played on festive occasions. Vigo is home to Europe's largest fishing port. And is the gateway to Santiago de Compostela. Here, the cathedral of St James is supposed to contain the remains of James the Greater, one of Jesus's first disciples who was beheaded by Herod Agrippa. James' remains were discovered in this town 800 years after his death. Santiago de Compostela is now considered to be one of the three chief sites of Christian Pilgrimage – the other two being Rome and Jerusalem.

We had not booked any excursions in Vigo. I had been putting a cold compress on my ankle on a regular basis so, although I was still in limp mode, I felt fit enough to venture out further than the port gate this time!

There were a few options open to us. The hop-on, hop-off bus was €18 each but for €16.48 less at €1.52 we decided to head for the C1 public transport bus. This is a circular bus that takes about 1 hour to complete the circuit of the city centre so it ends up at the same place it started from. On enquiring at the Information desk just outside the port there was only 1 ho-ho bus today and that had departed at noon!! How does that work? Only 1 bus per day and it leaves before the cruise ship arrives!!?? Someone got their schedules mixed up! The C1 bus stops across the main road. A circular bus, a good way to see the town. The only drawback is that being public transport it is not ideal for taking photos as we pass points of interest. Payment is made to the driver who will give change providing you don't hand him a large denomination note! The bus runs every 10 minutes so alighting then waiting for the next one is not an issue. Even if you pay another €1.52 it would still work out much cheaper than any other form of sightseeing. As our time was limited, it would be impossible to see all the sights in the limited time we had. We decided to alight at Spain Square (Plaza España) then we walked the 15 minutes slight incline to the city's fortress, overlooking the bay of Vigo on one side and the Monte del Castro on the other.

The fortress of the Castro was built in 1665 during a war in an effort to try and protect the city from the continuous attacks coming from the British naval allies to Portugal.

The fortress park dominates the centre on the map of Vigo. We decided to head for this attraction as the fortress grounds provides pleasant walks amongst the well-kept gardens as well as offers some great vantage points and camera shots.

We took our time to walk through the elevated park, heading back toward the old town and the port. We were glad we visited the fortress from the ‘backend' as every terrace of the park led to several flights of steps to descend. We passed many tourists who had walked up from the old town. Some looked jaded. Others looked completely done in but determined. The passers-by must have thought that Roisin and I were super fit as neither of us have broken in to a sweat (despite me and my pronounced limp) I was starting to feel the pace now and my feet were screaming for a rest. Not long to go now. Nearly there and it's all downhill from here!!

There were numerous craft shops in the old town. I couldn't help noticing one craft shop that specialised in lace making. I saw umbrellas in the store window made from lace. They're not going to keep you very dry in the rain, I thought. The water would fall through the holes!!

My feet were in agony so it was good to get back on board and put a cold compress on the affected area. This finally eased off and I felt so much better I managed to go up to deck 19 for the sail away from Vigo although on sun deck 16 I noticed an oxygen room. I'm not surprised this is a feature and better to be safe than sorry if you are venturing up to deck 19!!!

Tonight was the ‘Ye Olde English pub' night. This was hosted by the Entertainments team and featured the singers and dancers from the theatre shows. The night started off with Chris Ricketts playing a selection of sea shanties. This guy is so versatile. A dab hand at the instruction in the art of ukulele playing and now he's performing solo; from Bob Dylan to Sea Shanties. Is there no end to this guy's talent??! Now there are two things I hate about shows; those that are badged as ‘interactive', and those where you are only told about this when they have you sitting comfortably so anyone who gets up to leave will be immediately singled out as ‘bah humbug'!! The show started off good with a few ‘cockney' songs by the cast. Now there are two things I hate about interactive shows. Sing-alongs and doing the actions to sing-alongs. To make matters worse, the landlord of said ‘Ye Olde English Pub' made us stand. (I tried to feign discomfort but I'm a shit actor) The audience were made to sing My Bonnie complete with actions. Now the thing I hate about singing and doing the actions is when they make it in to a competition with each half of the room. After the ‘My Bonnie' rendition my ordeal wasn't over. Oh no. We had to remain standing and sing ‘It's a long way to Tipperary' whilst the other room sand ‘Pack up your troubles'…at the same time!!! I must admit, it was quite fun!!! The rest of the show was relatively entertaining. Dan, the Deputy Cruise Director tried to explain gurning to an American audience. This is a competition where folk (normally of advanced age), poke their head through a horse's harness and pull a grotesque face. It helps if you take your teeth out so your lower jaw comes right up to meet your lower lip. Crossing your eyes is also a good pointer!!

Roisin and I had our first cocktails of the cruise on the penultimate night aboard. Most of our drink has so far been bought ashore and as we still had some on board credit to spend, we decided to treat ourselves! I had an ultimate Mai Tai. This is made of Bacardi Oakheart, Cruzan Dark, Amaretto, Pineapple Juice, Orange Juice and Citrus Mix. Roisin took one sip of this and pulled a face that may have been a contender for the earlier gurning contest.

The final day (which was also a sea day) was the finale of the Trailblazing contest. A list was handed to us. This was like a scavenger hunt and we had to collect various items. Your finishing position in the previous rounds determined the time advantage. For example the team in the lead had a 10s advantage from the team in second who had a 5s advantage over the team in third. During the past few days we had been collecting items that we anticipated may appear on the list such as a copy of the daily programme, a napkin, etc…) out of the 20 items we already had 6. We split our list in to 3. I, being the most incapacitated (?) selected to bring back the empty tin can, a tooth pick and cookie from the International café. This was in the immediate area to where the game was taking place so I didn't need to hobble far!! One of the requisites was a sock with a hole. I nearly died when Roisin pulled out one of my dirty socks with a hole in it. (an actual hole not just the hole where you put your foot!!) Another requirement was a ball of pocket fluff!! I searched my pockets for a ball of fluff. I always find fluff in my pockets. Why is it when you want balls of fluff, there are never any to be found? Despite one of the teams having small children of 5 and 6 years I would have disqualified them. They arrived back a fraction before us but had not collected everything. One of the items was; something with teeth. Since when does a brush have teeth? I always though a brush had bristles! In the end everyone was a winner which in my eye's seemed a whole waste of time. We all received a Princess water bottle. Not that I'm a sore loser but we all know that our team won!!

The passage home saw us cross the Bay of Biscay once more. However, the sea state was calm as the ship advanced its way through riplets edging its way ever closer to our final destination, Southampton. It will be a pleasant change to just jump in the car and drive home rather than having to be concerned about flights. We passed Cape Finistere and turned in to the English Channel. We were now in the home straight.

This journey has seen us cover 3,086 nautical miles. It has been an eventful trip. Some might say for the wrong reasons!! This was never about the places but more about the ship and the people and characters on the ship. We met up with old friends and also made new ones (although only for the duration of the cruise and not enough to swap email addresses!!)

Despite the eventfulness of the past 10 days, this has been one hell of a break. The break could have been much worse (namely to my ankle!) Thank you to Roisin for rushing to my aide after my accident and not for the camera even though as I was going down I was heard to say: ‘Quick, quick grab the camera it's 250 quid if it's shown on You've been Framed!!'

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Comments

[Truce Grovellar]

Hello again, Normally when I read your weblog I like to look at the pictures first and read the text later. I also only read this blog for possible mentions of Berni Flint. So when I looked at the pictures this time I was excited to see no
t only ukuleles (my favourite musical instrument) but also Kelly Monteith (the Canadian King of Comedy). THis was going to be a brilliant blog post. Imagine my surprise when I read the text. Where to begin? The ukulele is a versatile, instrument that is easy to learn but almost impossible to put down. Even 19 ancient , cruise and pub-quiz obsessed greys thrashing out hideous Status Quo songs can't destroy its charm. Status Quo!!!!! God forbid. Points in the ukulele's favour: George Harrisson (who im sure we can agree was the best Beatle) was a ukulele obsessive. Paul McCartney (the worst Beatle) still plays Blackbird on uke at his gigs as a tribute to George. George Formby is a divisive figure in the ukulele world. His music, i agree , is fairly mundane but he is superb lyricist. For example:'Now if women like them like men like those - why don?t women like me?' Plus he wrote some really filthy material that would give Nicky Minaj a run for her money. Just look up the lyrics for Blackpool Rock. Plus he was a committed socialist who refused to play to segregated audiences in South Africa. Enough on George and the transformative powers of the humble uke. You then go on to disrespect the amazing Kelly Montieth. Have you not seen his appearance on the Des O Connor show where he had Des slapping his thighs as tears rolled down his face? You could have the Amazing Kreskin onboard doing magic shows and you still wouldn't be impressed. I despair! No wonder Bernie got off at Maderia...so would I! If you are going to write another post on this journey....please, please, please make it a positive one, Despairingly, T

[chris-roisin]

Truce, Some comment eh!! I have been thinking about introducing a guest blogger to my travel blogs. Have you ever thought about doing this? I am looking for a researcher and a ghost writer that will free me up to do other cool stuff like at
tending the ice carving classes or fruit sculpture lessons. I try to make my blog interesting by providing a mix of what we did, a little bit of history/geography about each place and situations that arose (life on board etc...) with a little bit of humour added in. I only write what the evidence tells me. My comments and observations are there for comedy effect and to get the occasional cheap laugh!! I take what people say and twist it in to a vaguely interesting if not comical situation. Don't forget, these are mostly my views and opinions on life. I try to support my rants with photographic (or in the case of the Uke band) video evidence. The Uke school didn't do any favours to the promotion of the Ukulele as the instrument of choice . Kelly Monteith was entertaining without having the ability to split my or anyone else's sides. Those that occasionally laughed had already drank copious amounts of alcohol before entering the theatre. As for Berni Flint, he was a pleasant surprise. i'm just sorry we never got to see more of him and he jumped ship so early in the cruise. Thank you for taking in time to write and express you opinion. Your comments are important to us!!!

[Truce Grovellar]

Is fruit sculpture and actual 'thing' It reminds me of a recent holiday n Bulgaria where our party often ate at a restaurant where the menu featured many confusingly translated pidgeon-English items. In the desert (sic) section it included
the 'Erotic Banana'. One of our party (lets call him Norman) eventually plucked up courage to order it. What arrived, followed by almost all of the kitchen staff laughing their heads off, was a peeled banana with a crudely sculpted 'head' standing upright in a tub of goats cream. Needless to say I haven't touched a banana since...and im saying nothing on the effect it's had on Mrs Travellar!

[Truce Grovellar]

..just to correct the typo in my previous comment...Mrs Travellar should read Mrs Grovellar.. For some reason I compounded my unusual forename with my surename and then changed my sex...if you know what I mean. As an excuse I am typing
on a very small screen and I have overalrge fungers!

[SnarkoPolo]

Was this meant to be Ye Olde Pub in Bulgaria or Lithuania perhaps? Never saw anything like that on Old Engurland, even down the waterfront in Liverpool back in the day...