Croatia may seem like a pretty cutting edge destination for Brits, but for the whole of Eastern Europe, it's Spain - somewhere hot by the sea where the food's not too weird and they sort of understand what you're saying. Poles, Hungarians, Czechs, Slovaks, Slovenes and East Germans come here in their tens of thousands to drink beer, eat chips and meat and get sunburnt. It's just like holidays in the old days - people fall asleep drunk on the first day, get burnt, go and do it all again the next day. And don't care. This is their two weeks in the sun... The East European women are all slim, tall and beautiful; the men look like recently demobbed squaddies (and most actually are), fit, shaven, hard as nails. Until they get middle aged, when
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