When the large, wet and very naked Japanese woman bent over in front of me I knew this wasn't going to be an average trip abroad. I was sitting in a bath, completely starkers, next to my darling friend Sanae who I had last seen a year and a half ago during a tearful farewell at Phuket Airport after a week of decadance, 10am cocktails and bad behaviour. And now here we were, naked together, 3 hours after my plane had touched down in Japan and I had my brief and bewildering insight into the new life I was meant to be living. To be completely fair it wasn't altogether too bewildering on the train trip to Saitama - I mean trains are trains no matter which country you're in, but because I had never been
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