Post funny, interesting, cool, wise... quotes you read, heard on a movie, heard a friend say....
Heres one that recently made me laugh, from a book I just finished reading.
''I dont care if you are a psychopath. I want to hang out with you. People should just be more tolerant. ''
"In Vino Veritas but Vodka Lies" - back of a toilet door at the airport in Samoa.
"Lifes a short story and I know the ending" - Guitar Mark (my wise friend)
"“When kids hit 1 year old, it's like hanging out with a miniature drunk. You have to hold onto them. They bump into things. They laugh and cry. They urinate. They vomit.'” - Johnny Depp
"Its not a tragedy if I die at sea, the tragedy is the old man who lives and dies in the same small town never having dared to touch his dream" - Jessie Martin.
"Do you think god gets stoned? he must..look at the platypus" - Robin Williams
"Just because your paranoid doesnt mean theyre not watching you" - Kurt Cobain
"No ticket, No temple" - smartypants at Ankhor Wat.
“When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” Henry Ford
The book I am currently reading has some funny ones. Here is one of them.
''Daddy says, one ten year old said cheerfully to the teacher, surveying a French pronoun exercise almost obliterated in red ink, that there's really no hope for me because, i'm as utterly thick as him.''
An add for a dating site popped up on my boyfriends facebook page last night. The name of it was edarling.something.
The add said something like,
''with one click, you can find love without too much trouble''
It gave us a laugh.
I have just had a new intake of international students and in getting to know them, I found one "older" french gent had summitted everest and a heap of other mountains.......so I asked him why he liked mountain climbing .....his answer made me laugh -
"I dont. I dont like mountain climbing, i like going down mountains".
Guess thats one way to get to the top..you cant go down the other side until you have reached the top.
Another student from Nairobi saw me the first week with "normal" hair, the next week he saw me with my hair straightened and with a few highlights and streaks.....he looked at the student next to him and asked - "Why she have flat stripey hair?"
Here are two from a friend in India.
- encouraging me to visit him: "Life is like an ice cream. Enjoy it before it melts."
- refusing more food when we holidayed together last year: "I want to look like a cricket bat, not a football."
I found the following in a history of Europe book I have funny, because of the understatement of referring to adultry as misdirected love. The quote is from a paragraph describing laws about sex in medieval Europe.
'Misdirected love', as Dante put it could not be compared to sins driven by hatred or betrayal
[Edited: 2011 May 01 19:33 - Mell:49612 ]
I love Winston Churchill quotes:
This is a great one given recent events:
"We sleep safely at night because rough men stand ready to visit violence on those who would harm us."
— Winston S. Churchill
And these are just fantastic!
"Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
"Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
Exchange between Lady Astor and Winston Churchill—"
"A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly."
— Winston S. Churchill
We like Churchill also----
Here are a couple more from him.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
I am easily satisfied with the very best.
From a friend of mine: An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind
Ever seen the movie 'Into the wild'? Great movie and with plenty of life and travelling quotes such as:
'The core of mans' spirit comes from new experiences.'
'I'm going to paraphrase Thoreau here... rather than love, than money, than faith, than fame, than fairness... give me truth.'
'I read somewhere... how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong... but to feel strong.'
'When you want something in life, you just gotta reach out and grab it.'
We like Churchill also----
Was it Churchill who made the tasteless joke to demonstrate that he sees nothing wrong with gay men being soldiers in the second world war? Apparently, his words of war encouragement to them were 'keep buggering on'.
"The problem with quotes on the Internet is that it is hard to verify their authenticity"
— Abraham Lincoln
Stephen Wright once said, "I bought batteries but they were not included"
Peter Sellers in Dr. Strangelove said, "Gentlemen you can't fight in here! This is the war room!
Don't knock masturbation. It is sex with someone I love. Woody Allen.
The comedian George Carlin said, so far this is the oldest I've been.
There are many quotes from day to day travelling over the last couple of years but these few are the ones I actually thought to write down.
I walked a part of the camino de santiago in Spain with a man from Madrid. One quote he said that I had to write down was "Fun is a good thing to do. I don't know who said these words. It may be either Albert Einstein or Groucho Marx."
'I feel all booby'
, said the uncomfortable big breasted woman at the theatre referring to her revealing blouse. I heard this when I was in Bristol last year.
'Have you thought them through, your thoughts? Not thoroughly, no!'
Another gem from the Camino.
This made me laugh ...
Help a local sleep ... Take a chicken or two with you on your way out of town !
... share the same sentiment ! Hate being woken up by crowing roosters in the wee hours of the morning as well ! 😱
[Edited: 2011 Jul 12 02:22 - josworld:15287 ]
My friend once said :" Hey Soon, Guess what you're so lucky because you don't have an idiot friend. All of us have one!"
It took me 2 seconds to get it, then I LMAO!
I too am a big fan of Winston Churchill. One of my favourites:
“We are all worms, but I do believe that I am a glow worm.”
I am currently reading a book about a couple of 15 year olds. I am hoping they are particularly disturbed teens, rather than the usual, because my daughter will be a teen soon. Some of the things the 15 year olds say are pretty funny though.
Here is a quote from a conversation between the step mother and one of the 15 year olds.
Step mother: Well, it's not normal in my book.
Teen: I imagine your book would be rather a slim and cheap little book.
From 'My summer of love' by helen cross