Do you think it is wrong or tasteless to allow ones children to play with water pistols and other weapons?
I have had this dilemma before and then decided to let my daugher play with water pistols. I mostly decided this because the other neighbourhood kids have them, so it seemed pointless to ban my own daugher from having them. And they are made of colorful plastic afterall, unlike the real thing.
Now with the current terrorist attacks in Mumbai, I am starting to feel the dilemma again. My daugher even has a plastic grenade which one of the neighbour kids gave her as a present. She knows what it is too, even though I did not tell her. She has a bomb shaped misile for playing in the swimming pool. It is colourful, but still has a war weapon look about it. It has a spoongy part that soaks up water, so one can make a water bomb to throw at people with it. I bought that for her.
What is your opinion?
If you have children, do you allow them to play with these toys? If not, how do you explain to your child why (s)he cant play with these things? If you do allow your child to play with these things, do you tell him/her anything about guns and bombs.
Reply to this I have thought about this... but as my boy is only two months old, I'm a long way off from having to make a decision.
Personally I think, I'm just going to let him play with them.. I had loads of toy guns/water pistols as a kid.. and as an adult I've been paintballing numerous times and played Airsoft (like BB guns, but more powerful, and actually look like the real thing). I was an army cadet where at the age of 13, got to run around with a weapon firing blanks (but which are very capable of firing live ammunition).
Do I feel the the desire to go crazy and shoot up a load of innocents... Not at all! I'm actually completely against violence!
As long as they understand the difference between playing and the real thing, I don't see it being a problem.
Reply to this Congratulations on the birth of your son! 😊
Its a boy!
As long as they understand the difference between playing and the real thing, I don't see it being a problem.
Would sensitivity to people who come from war torn countries or have had friends or family who have been effected by terrorism be an issue you would consider? I am not keen on the idea of my daugher storming around the neighbourhood pointing her weapons indiscriminately at anybody she meets and shouting ''bang bang, now you are dead''.
Reply to this It's a good point... and not something I'd really considered.
Still, I'd like to think the adults involved would show some kind of understanding... it is a child just playing after all, not in training to be a child soldier!
T.b.h... I'm not worried about this at all..
I worry about when he's 16, and wants to watch a BBFC rated 18 film or play a game but shouldn't because it has some strong scenes of a sexual nature... Perfectly ok for him to watch a '15' though which portrays graphic violence.
I thought about this while playing the new COD:world at war computer game which is rated a 15 and saw a guy get his neck slashed on screen.
I'd find it much easier to explain the details behind an explicit sexual scene (something he's undoubtedly going to do, if not already, and legally allowed to do), over killing people, which of course I hope he'll never be doing (though if he joins the armed forces there may be every chance).
Just some thoughts... this parenting lark is really not going to be easy, is it? I think I'm going to go txt my mum and dad and congratulate them on how well I turned out! 😉
Reply to this ...this parenting lark is really not going to be easy, is it?
No it isnt. :D And when the rest of society gets involved with influencing your kid it gets even more complicated. Then there are friends and teachers and neighbours etc who have totally different ideas about what the kids should and should not do. When you say candy is only for Sunday, you will hear ''but Susie gets it everyday''.
And more serious is the one we are having at the moment. Religion. We choose that our daugher does not take religious studies at school which we are entitled to do. They are still teaching her all about God and she gets upset when we tell her that she is not supposed to be taking religious studies and asks us why we dont like Mr. God.
And the violence and sexually explicit stuff you dont let them watch at home, they see at a neighbours house. The best I can think of doing with this is telling her that what happens on television is not real and movies are not real. Those are only pictures and nobody is getting hurt. And the sexually explicit stuff - well they like to try out everything with their friends and how do you react when you discover your 7 year old doing Mama and Papa cuddles with the neighbour kid.
Reply to this Hi,
Just to add my feeelings on this, my father grew up during WW2. Violence and guns were all around them, they used to make toy rifles out of sticks so they could play act that they were like thier fathers and uncles who were fighting in the war. Or just to reinact the cowboy and indian films they were watching at the pictures. But, my father maintains to this day, the 'play' in his day with those guns was far less malicious and violent than you see kids acting with them now. He is always very shocked at the violence when he sees his friends grandchildren playing with toy guns. I do not let my 6 year old son have toy guns, as the few times I have seen him play with other kids toy weapons, the extreme mock violence has really shocked me. And it is, in some children anyway, very extreme.
Saying that, he has water pistols in the summer, but he just sees them as things that squirt water at his parents, not as gun type things, so its different.
He is also homeschooled, so I guess he is a little more sheltered in some respects than most other kids his age that attend school. He did a year of school and was so aghast over how schools seem try to take over the role of parent, with no respect over how you wish your child to be raised, or the values you have worked hard to insil into them up to that point.
I guess it the same the world over. When we were in Morocco, we stayed at a couple of Berber villages. The children their did not have toy guns, but they had their mothers' kitchen knives. I saw a few near misses, with children as young as 3 play fighting with these knives. The violence of children at play upsets me a lot sometimes. Especially when they are egged onto act that way by adults, I have seen that more times then I care to remember also.
Reply to this Also to anser your question of what do I tell him about why hes not allowed to play with them, I don't need to explain it to him. Toy guns etc tend to make him feel uncomfortable as well, he'll play with other kids guns with them for a bit, but when it all gets too violent he stops playing. He says he doesnt like things being killed, hes quite a gentle soul. Doesn't make him too popular with most other little boys, but he's already learned that girls quite like him for it, which hes very happy about, but thats another debate entirely!
Reply to this He is also homeschooled, so I guess he is a little more sheltered in some respects than most other kids his age that attend school. He did a year of school and was so aghast over how schools seem try to take over the role of parent, with no respect over how you wish your child to be raised, or the values you have worked hard to insil into them up to that point.
I am feeling the same about how little respect the school seems to have for our values as parents. There is the religious aspect that I mentioned in Msg 5, but there are also other things. Things like what they teach the kids about money and posessions. And they focus heavily on things we find trivial and I find myself impatiently waiting for them to get to what I find important and when they finally do it gets a lot less time and attention.
Homeschooling is not an option here in Germany, but I wouldnt choose it anyway, because we dont speak German at home so school is the only place my daugher can practice speaking German for several hours per day.
Do you find homeschooling difficult, Terry-Ann? It would mean that you would not get much time to yourself, wouldnt it?
The violence of children at play upsets me a lot sometimes.
Does anyone have any opinions on where all the violence amongst children is comming from these days?
According to a study I read, Germany has the most bullying amongst kids in Europe. I well believe it, because I have had to deal with it a number of times. And the severity of it is shocking.
Reply to this Homeschooling is not for everyone, but no, I don't find it difficult. I was at home with him all day before he went to school, so now there is really no difference to me. There is nothing I can't do when hes at home that I could have done if he was at school. I'm fairly boring! Plus, we get on really, really well. Also, I enjoy watching him learn, and although we follow the national curriculum, I can take out things that i do not find nessacary to his education and well being, (such as sex ed at 5) and add in the things that I really feel its important to learn.
The most important aspect to me though is the feedom. Not only to raise my child as I wish, but the feedom to travel whenever we like without the restrictions of school terms.
Reply to this Speaking of toys, my daugher has just been invited to a 7 year old boys birthday party. I am unsure what to give as a present. I have forgotten how old your son is Terry-Ann? If he is around 7, which toys does he like most and did he get any presents recently that he particularly liked? I am looking for something I can buy easily in the shops locally.
What I have in mind at the moment is edible play clay. It comes in a box of a few colours. The kids can make something with it and then it gets baked in the oven and they can eat it. Is that something that would interest your son, if he got it as a present.
Reply to this My son is 6. Yeah, the edible clay would go down well! Hes into things that he can make. As are most boys that age I think. When it comes time to get his friends gifts, I usually stick to Lego cars or Bionicles.
Reply to this Wow--What a question to throw out for discussion.
As a parent of three children who have turned out to be mighty fine adults, I can say that their childhood shaped them into the great young adults they are today.
I think amy toys selected for a child shouls reflect the values projected by the parents who have the radical task of shaping their lives. I couldn't reccommend amy specific toys, books, or clothing for any other parent. The choice must be theirs and theirs alone.
Having said that--I have no personal dilemma with tpy guns, air guns, or actual real firearms when children are prepared for them. This is assuming that paerents teach their children responsbility for each of these. This holds true for any life issues with children.
Reply to this I don't have kids of my own but my mother was always very strict about anything weapon related. My brother and I were never allowed to have any kind of toy gun etc. (I think we DID have a cheap plastic water pistol though. One of the small ones) And couldn't play the violent shooting games on the computer (which my dad played) until we were over 16. In fact she really stuck to the rating of TV programs too so we didn't see too much violence in movies etc.
I've never been interested in playing such games or with such toys but my brother plays shooting games all the time now (he's 20) and is none the worse for it.
At the end of the day, if you feel wrong about letting her use such toys, then don't allow it. The grenade etc. shouldn't have even been
made for children in my opinion, it's ridiculously unnecessary. But really, there are so many nicer toys out there, I'm sure she doesn't need a grenade. You could also use this opportunity to discuss the significance of such toys with her and why they make you uncomfortable. Get her to see that they're not fun and she'll probably stop wanting to play with them anyway.
Reply to this The grenade etc. shouldn't have even been made for children in my opinion, it's ridiculously unnecessary.
I thought so too. It is so much easier for parents, if these things are not available in the first place.
[quote[You could also use this opportunity to discuss the significance of such toys....
Heavy information to expose an eight year old to...... I teach her that hitting and physically hurting people is wrong, but I dont go as far as explaining war to her.
Reply to this Yeah, it would be kind of difficult but couldn't you just make it clear to her that a gun is a symbol of violence just like punching someone is violent and that it's just as bad? Probably don't need to explain war to do that.
Reply to this Yeah, I can put my foot down about the guns but the big decision is whether it is something I should do. Making a big deal out of her playing with a neon pink gun would make her more interested in having these things. If I was to point out what is wrong with this toy, then I would have to explain guns and killing to her. Keeping them innocent is not easy these days.
Reply to this Ah, true I hadn't thought of her getting interested in what was forbidden. Ah well... Good Luck!
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