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Published: September 30th 2017
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The only time Dubrovnik is quiet - 8 AM, before all the cruise ship tour groups roll in!Geo: 43.8607, 18.4214
Dear Cruise Ship Tour Groups,
Please get the f*ck out of my way. The Strandun in Dubrovnik is a massive pedestrian street with lots of room for everybody, so why must you all stand side-by-side, blocking the entire way? Do you not realize that some of you could stand off to the side, allowing people to pass? We are all here to enjoy the wonders of Dubrovnik, not to create a human roadblock, forcing others to ram their way through. This isn't a rugby scrum, after all.
I know how beautiful the old town is, and how much you want to take picture after picture of it, to share its incredible sights with all your friends back home. I understand. But why the f*ck while taking photos, must you suddenly take three giant steps backward without looking, stepping into the path of oncoming people? Why must you suddenly stop dead in your tracks? Why you must suddenly swing around with your giant SLR camera, nearly taking out somebody's eye with the ginormous lens?
I'm sorry to tell you this bad news, but I feel it is my duty - no matter how expensive your camera, no matter how nice the zt
But of course, Spanish tour groups are ALWAYS welcome. lens, no matter how long you mess around with your filters, you'll still take crap photos. You want professional-quality pictures? Buy a damn postcard. Stop deluding yourself by acting like you know what you are doing. And don't wine and bitch, acting like a petulant child because the other thousands of tourists in Dubrovnik won't magically stop for you to take a photo. But please, make sure you continue to hang that $2000 camera from your neck for the duration of your travels. Make sure you take it down some dark alley just off Las Ramblas in Barcelona, or down any street in Naples. Because some thug is going to smash you in the head and take it away from you, so you can never irritate another soul with that camera, ever again.
So once again, please get the f*ck out of my way. It's for your own safety. The stone work in Dubrovnik is spectacular, isn't it? Beautifully light, and polished ... this also makes it very slippery. So when you jump in front of me, I can't stop suddenly. It's like slamming on the brakes while driving a car with summer tires on ice. I probably won't stop,
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Walking the walls in Dubrovnik is a must-do, especially since I didn't want to spend the money doing it last time around. and likely can just barely get out of your way.
I'm not a big guy nor am I built like a linebacker, but I do carry 180 lbs that, while not a completely solid 180 lbs, I am somewhat solid in certain areas, though like a nice steak, I'm more well-marbled than I would like it to be in others. Either way, it's a good amount of weight. And when I'm walking to the bus station, I'm carrying my 35 lb backpack, and my 15 lb daypack. That's 230 lbs barreling at you if I can't stop - I walk fast, more of a power walk, so if you get smacked by me, it will hurt. Remember how beautifully light and polished the stonework in Dubrovnik is? Well, it'll be pretty ugly when you bounce off me, and your skull leaves a bloody mess on the stone after you fall and slam into the ground. Do you want to ruin the photo ops for all the other tourists who want to take pictures of this gorgeous city with
their $2000 cameras? Photography tip - your grey matter splayed all over the place will NOT make for nice photos.
So, to re-iterate e
The island of Lokrum in the distance. - please get the f*ck out of my way. If you have no concern for your own safety, then please think of mine. Some of you have obviously spent the previous six days of your cruise hitting up every sit-down meal, every buffet meal, every afternoon tea, and every midnight buffet, so my collective 230 lbs cannot compare to your bulk. To you, I'd probably be like a mosquito hitting a semi-truck's windshield. I'd be the one who goes splat. Or worse still, the force of the impact might be enough to suck my face into the many folds of your stomach fat, suffocating me in the process. Would you want to be responsible for that? For suffocating a person in your stomach fat? What will you tell the judge at your trial? What defence will your lawyer present?
And finally, to summarize once more - please get the f*ck out of my way.
Sincerely,
Every backpacker that has been irritated by a cruise ship tour group in any place in the world.
PS - Spanish cruise ship tour groups, this doesn't apply to you. Your beautiful little senoritas are welcome anywhere, at any time. I apologize if I knock any
of you down, it'll probably be like a big bowling ball knocking over a bunch of cute and petite little pins, taking out 4 or 5 of you senoritas at a time. But it's ok, I'll take care of you all, and kiss all your little boo-boos better.
PPS - All other cruise ship tour groups, please get the f*ck out of my way.
And before any cruise ship goers have a hate-on for me, I used to do them all the time growing up, and did one as recently as three years ago. We all take ourselves too seriously, so can't we all just get along? Just watch out for other people and be considerate, wherever you are!
Today was a crazy, killer day - walked the walls above Dubrovnik early morning, then checked out an incredible photography exhibit called War Photo Limited, which is dedicated to coverage of warfare from around the world, before heading out to Sarajevo. Tons of pictures were taken today, but they're worth going through, especially the ones from the photo exhibit.
The trip to Sarajevo was odd, because the highway between Croatia and Bosnia & Herzegovina ends up crossing back across the border a few times, so there were three customs checks. I wanted the first customs agent to detain and strip search me, as she was a typically beautiful Balkan woman. Not so much for the next two, a younger guy and then a gruff old man.
Finally arrived at Sarajevo ... first impressions - this place is crap! The bus station area is pretty run down. Ended up heading into the old town to find the hostel with a few Irish lads who were also on the bus in from Dubrovnik. Sometimes first impressions aren't always correct, because Sarajevo's old town is amazing. After a long bus ride, I had planned on just crashing at the hostel but instead went for a walk and a snack, since Sarajevo was so lively and inviting.
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Kristy
non-member comment
There's the Pat we all know and love!! He's back!!Tim made a rude comment that I was hesitating to pass along to you but it went something like this "Tell Pat that when he knocks over the 4 or 5 petite senorita's that you knock into them w
ith your hard body parts" Tim's comment not mine!!!