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Published: June 29th 2017
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Geo: -33.8671, 151.207
This was not the Halloween experience I had hoped for. Our attempt to leave Los Angeles didn't exactly go according to plan. In fact, it eventuated into quite a nightmare. Largely, our great adventure has been a tremendous success. It could hardly have gone better. Sadly, tonight certainly could have. The plan was as follows; Natalie would book a regular economy flight home on the 11.30pm flight direct from Los Angeles LAX Airport to Melbourne. We would save money, if I elected to go on standby with staff travel. Basically, I would get the best seat left on the plane, for a lot less than the regular economy fare. Further, there would be a chance of getting a business or first class seat. If that was to happen, hopefully I could switch seats with Nat, and get her to experience a luxury flight and grand return. The passenger loadings looked good, plenty of room. ts worked for me in the past, it sounded worth a shot. However, despite good intentions, it didn't work out.
We catch the metro to LAX. It goes smooth enough, I'm even carrying shirt and trousers to look the part for check in. It proved a
futile gesture. As we go to check in together, Nat is cleared, her luggage taken an boarding pass issued. For me, a Standby ticket, and my pack returned. Come back at 10.40pm, 5 minutes before boarding they say, its a full flight. Uh oh. Will it even be possible to clear customs on such short notice. Half an hour goes by, and its time for Nat to go. Goobye, good luck and all that. This wasn't easy. Now a nervous hour wait on my own to await my fate.
I check again around 10pm and am told to wait another 20, 10, 5 minutes. By 10.45, I'm standing with another 17 staff members all anxiously awaiting news. Then, the roll call of doom for who will get on the Melbourne flight. Its like a lottery. Pick me, pick me. Slowly, one by one, around seven relieved people are called. I'm not one of them. That's it, an announcement, no further allowances for Melbourne. Alternatively, theres a Sydney flight half an hour later. A chance, the crew is checking for available spots. Enter roll call two. Nervous times. A further three are called. Not me. Its over. They announce a full flight. Airport staff are packing away line barriers. I'm stranded. My heart sinks. I look sadly up at the departures board and worry for Nat. Is she OK? With my phone dead and not working, Ive borrowed hers. Theres no way to contact her. Check in staff are apologizing to the remaining somber and crestfallen stranded staff. 'Please surrender your boarding passes, can we advise you on accommodation, we can book you on standby for tomorrow, but its looking rather full like today.' A guy strides off to find me a brochure for accommodation. They call another passenger, and start chatting to him. The rest of the stranded sadly begin to disperse. Great. What to do? Should I give homeless life a try for the night? Then, 'Mr Kristofor Mallegrom.' Its music to my ears, it sparkes a glimmer of hope to this ghastly Halloween of horrors. I approach the counter. The guy from earlier returns with a pamphlet, $89 for the night. Maybe its worth it? Then the check in staff returns to my executioner and proclaims that accommodation will not be required. Myself and the previously called gentleman are getting on to Sydney! Salvation! Economy, no complaints here, Id grasp the wing of the plane if they allowed it. Now Ive got to get there. Iv got 30 minutes before the flight leaves, and its already boarding. Plus I'm in America, not renowned for customs efficiency. I get through, make a 4 second change from collar suit to tracksuit and run for my flight. I even find a nervous Natalie on the way, just boarding her flight to Melbourne. We both share our relief! See you in Australia!
Here I am. Around 12 hours into my flight, a couple hours from Sydney. I'm weary, fidgety, and my legs ache. I'm in the middle seat of a bassinet row. The Hangover 3 and Man of Steel have slightly provided a comfortable distraction. I'm relieved and thankful I'm here at least and hope to see Natalie soon in Melbourne. Worst Halloween ever.
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