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Published: December 4th 2006
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Fanny Jam
Once tasted never bettered! Right, you've had enough opportunity to previously unsubscribe so you might as well read what is most definitely the last entry. With our travels an almost forgotten dim and distant memory coupled with the way we've just slotted back into society so seamlessly living in the same town and going back to the same old jobs, I feel like I'm pining for the fjords (of which we saw many) and thus need to reminisce and review just to convince myself that we really did go round the world for the full 365 days. Making good use of my last few days of leisure before I have to start the evils of working for a living for the next 100 years until retirement at 132, or whatever Gordon Brown decides by then, I've been going through all the old blogs and photos we've posted back. I really don't want to sound too smug, pompous or flowery about all this travelling and bore the pants off everyone, (which maybe a bit of a contradiction on a travel spawnblog) but it got me thinking about all the better than average things we've seen and done. So partly for my own record, as we didn't
keep any other kind of record/travel diary, and also to stop me having to repeat and bore myself and everyone else, I'm gonna be like George Dubya Bush and do a pre-emptive strike on possible questions. However like Iraq it will probably turn out that you didn't have any anyway! Well to hell with it (or to axis of evil with it) - I'm gonna Shock&Awe&Bore you with shocking rude signs that in the native country is probably very unfunny but amused us (sometime only a few people will get). You'll have some awe from our photos of the Top 20 Sights and Top 20 Experiences. Sad I know but everyone feels the need to categorize and rank these days! Also going to Bore with a barrage of uninteresting facts and figures about our travels.
Just The Facts Ma'm, Just The Facts
How many countries and for how long do I hear you cry?
Well, we visited 19 different countries:
Spain - 2 days
Bloody Spanish Bastards!! Colombia - 1 hour
Again Bloody Iberian Bastards Ecuador - 6 days
Quito and Banos Peru - 24 days
Into Peru Working Down Coastal Peru Condors and Inca Trail Bolivia - 11 days
Bolivia. The highest everything in the world (apart from hygiene!) Argentina (3 entries) - 14
days
Northern Argentina and Inland Brazil Brazil - 11 days
Emerald Coast of Brazil and Buenos Aires Argentina Uruguay - 8 days
Uruguay and Easter Island at Christmas Chile (Easter Island) - 4 days
Uruguay and Easter Island at Christmas New Zealand - 67 days
New Zealand - Boozing from Auckland to Christchurch New Zealand Part 2 - Back to School. There And Back Again, A Travellers Tale (Christchurch back to Auckland) Geeks Only: The Blog you've all been waiting for! Lord of the Rings Special! Australia - 83 days
Australia Pt 1 - Victoria (Melbourne,Great Ocean Road& Grampians) and Tasmania Australia Pt 2 - New South Wales Australia Part 3 - Queensland (Gold Coast, Lamington, Fraser Island, Carnavon, Whitsundays, Great Barrier Reef etc) Australia Pt 4 - Northern Territory (Gorm, Alice, Ayer, Olga and Darwin) Singapore - 5 Days
Singapore, Malaysia & Borneo - It's a Jungle out there Malaysia - 23 days
Singapore, Malaysia & Borneo - It's a Jungle out there Cambodia - 4 days
Cambodia - I say, More Wats of Ankor than you can poke a wooden leg at, what? Thailand (2 entries) - 39 days
Thailand: Bumming, Mooning and Buckets Laos - 7 days
Laos - Boats, Buses, Baguttes, Buddists and Bombs!! Vietnam - 19 days
Vietnam - Tour of Duty China/Hong Kong - 26 days
PR of China Pt1 - Past Dynasties, Pagodas, Pollution, Pumping PAs and People, People, People PR of China Pt 2 - Huge Gorges and Damns to Power the Bright Lights and Big Cities Indonesia - 20 days
Indonesia - Dragons and Paradise Found I've used the stamped dates in my passport so there are days overlapping between the 2 countries being crossed, just in case any anal people adds up the dates!
Planes, Trains and Automobiles
We travelled roughly 69,197 MILES in all, according to our Route Maps above. I'm really sorry about all that extra global warming we've created, dread to think what our Carbon footprint is this year!!!
We used 34 different flights (of which 18 were part of our One World ticket) from massive business class trans-continental to tiny little fookers.
We have been on plush huge riverboats Yangtze cruisers to 2-day tiny
bum-numbing wooded narrow boats down the Laos Mekong River. We sailed the seas on high-speed catamarans and ferries in NZ/Oz to crap leaking junks coming apart at the seams in Thailand and Vietnam. We've hit the roads overlanding through South America for months in a truck, endured the arduous yet strangely compelling public buses of South East Asia. We've been on high-speed futuristic metros of Shanghai and Hong Kong to the incredibly slow ram shackled hard sleeper trains in 'Nam and Thailand. We've hired 7 cars (smashed/dented 2, not all my fault), 2 campervans (and blown the engine of 1), scooters, bicycles and kayaks (capsized in 1). We've survived crazy bus/taxi drivers, tuk tuk, rickshaws, on the back of a Xe om/cyclo's ('Nam moped), boat boat taxi boat, and walked miles with good old-fashioned walking/hiking/tramping.
Money's Too Tight To Mention
As that ginger pube-headed tosser Mick Hucknall once crooned, it is too tight now seeing as we spent a combined total of over £30,000. We certainly did it in style doing loads of ace activities, didn’t rough it and generally stayed in pretty nice places in double rooms and never stayed in skanky dorms, so one could do it
for far less. But blimey that’s still a lot of money. That could have been a lush house deposit. Instead we've got no money, no house, no job (as yet). Just waiting for the Tories to come in and crash the house market again like in the 80s! Would we change it? No. Never.
PS Dont forget you have to click "next" to view all the photos these days.
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anonymous
non-member comment
YOU FUNNY PAIR!! Welcome back!!! They're good!!! 19 countries -wowww!! hope to see on 16th -willemail details to all this week!1 love love xxx