Too Many Light Switches


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Europe » Spain » Andalusia » Córdoba
July 24th 2016
Published: June 4th 2017
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Issy sleeps in while I get into the shower. The light in the shower keeps going on and off, and I shout at Issy that this was only funny the first time. She's not happy; she says that she's just trying to turn a (expletive deleted) light on in the room. The room, including the bathroom, has 13 light switches, but only seven lights. This is very confusing. I think that the owners have tried to set it up so that you can turn on one of the lights in the bathroom before you get out of bed, and without waking anyone else up, but I think that there are now just a few too many options to chose from, particularly if you're half asleep.

First stop this morning is the Alcazar de los Reyes Cristianos, or Palace of the Christian Monarchs. We read that the site was originally a Visigoth fortress. When the Moors conquered Spain in the eighth century, Córdoba became capital of the Moorish caliphate, and in the 10th century it was the most populous city in the world with a population that may have been as high as a million. Its current population is only around 300,000. The Moors expanded the original fortress and added baths, gardens and a large library. They were eventually expelled from Spain progressively over around 300 years during a period known as the Reconquista; Córdoba fell in 1236 and Granada was the last Spanish city to be recaptured in 1491. The so called Catholic Monarchs, Isabella of Castile and her husband Ferdinand of Aragon, ruled much of Spain during the final stages of the Reconquista, and their marriage united the kingdoms of Castile and Aragon to form the origins of modern Spain. They set up the Spanish Inquisition and expelled all Muslims and Jews from Spain. The Alcazar was used as a tribunal during the Inquisition and much of it, including the Arab baths, was turned into torture and interrogation chambers. At some later stage it was used as a garrison for Napoleon's troops, and it then became a prison, before the Spanish government turned it into a tourist attraction and national monument in the 1950s.

The Alcazar is spectacular. We climb one of its towers along a narrow spiral staircase, from where we get great views over the courtyard and the Palace's massive gardens with their extensive pools and fountains. We then descend several levels into the Palace's dungeon. Well we assume it's a dungeon; the rooms are all small and devoid of windows, and in stark contrast to the regal standards of the rooms on the floors above.

We leave the Alcazar and pass gates leading into the spectacular courtyard of the Mezquita Cathedral. The walls of the cloisters surrounding the courtyard are adorned with what we assume are wooden remnants from an earlier structure.

We go back to the hotel for our obligatory siesta. The hotel lift doors open, and I see from the reflection in the mirror that sometime during the morning I've been transformed into a very attractive young lady and I'm now wearing a yellow bikini. My brain takes a few seconds to adjust. The lift has doors on both sides, and they must have both opened at exactly the same time. The girl in the yellow bikini looks very concerned. I think for a few awful seconds she was afraid that she'd transformed into me. We both laugh.

I go for a swim, and then wander around the maze of courtyards around the hotel. Part of the hotel basement has had hand rails put around it to protect what look like ancient ruins. Córdoba's been here for a long time, so I suppose I should have expected that the hotel, which looks quite old itself, might have been built over the site of something even more ancient. I ask the lady at reception about the history of the site and she prints out some sheets for me to read. Some of the remains in the basement date back to first century Roman times and the largest artefact is a grain silo from the time of the Moors.

We go out wandering again, and discover a museum displaying suits of armour and gruesome torture devices from the Spanish Inquisition. Issy says that she wonders how anyone could fight in armour in this heat. She says that they would surely have cooked themselves to death long before an enemy had a chance to get anywhere near them.

We have dinner at a restaurant in a small square. I tell Issy that she should try to order a drink in Spanish. She wants a scotch and coke with no ice, and I tell her that I think this is "whiskey y Coca Cola, no huelo". The waitress looks confused while at the same time trying very hard not to laugh. Issy then orders in English instead. We look for the Spanish translation of "scotch and coke, no ice" on Issy's phone. We got most of it right, but the word for ice is "hielo"; "huelo" apparently means "I smell". At least we now know why the waitress was trying so hard not to laugh. I'm not sure Benny Hill could have scripted this any better.


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Issy with a scary horse, CordobaIssy with a scary horse, Cordoba
Issy with a scary horse, Cordoba

I couldn't get her to stand any closer to it. She is very nervous despite the smile.
Grafitti Cordoba styleGrafitti Cordoba style
Grafitti Cordoba style

Looks slightly less offensive when you do it on a wheelie bin.....


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