Moscow - day 4

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People don't know whether it's winter or summer when they're happy

- Anton Chekhov –

OK, Chekhov, author of the Cherry Orchid and most famously Uncle Vanya, wrote numerous plays and is still considered by today's standards a master of the short story but come on Anton. Don't talk ƃoлokc!!! It's bloody freezing here in the centre on Moscow so it's definitely winter yet I'm a happy little soul!! Ah I see what he means now. By happy, he means drinking lots of vodka, which is enough to make anyone happy. So, what Chekhov really means is 'people don't know whether it's winter or summer when they're pissed!!! Tell us something we don't know! I don't even know my own name when I've had a few!!!

We had to Checkov and checkout of our hotel by 12 noon so it was a leisurely start to what was going to be a very long day.

The hotel, an IBIS, is very much in keeping with the IBIS tradition. The rooms are very light and spotlessly clean. The storage space is at a premium but is perfect for a long weekend. The main feature that we always take advantage of is the safe in the room; ideal for the ipad and netbook while we're out. I don't want some innocuous looking maintenance man entering our room and bugging our stuff. Maybe I'm romanticising somewhat. Of course maintenance men are only portrayed in the movies, I mean a chambermaid!! You may laugh but during my last visit to the Russian capital in 1985 when it was the main city of the Soviet Socialist Republic, all hotel corridors were dimly lit with no more than a 5 watt bulb. The décor was a mixture or browns and greys. At the end of each corridor there was a desk and behind the desk sat an old lady. They were always old (or gave that impression from the hefty demeanour and dowdy attire.) They just sat there. Their job was to watch and 'report'. It was 1985. The cold war wouldn't be over for another 5 years. The desks were usually clear. Not even a stapler or mug of pens was to be seen. It's not as if they could play Angry Birds or Candy Crush on their I-phones. (It was 1985, remember?!) It must have been a very soul destroying and lonely existence with, as I suspect, very little prospect of advancement!! Now those days are gone, ‘corridor-watcher' is just a distant memory in the local job centre. We are now living in modern times where the IBIS Paveletskaya could be any hotel in the world.

On checking out, we asked the receptionist for the number of the bus or tram to take us to Red Square.

‘Bus?? She asked furrowing her brow. ‘Tram?

I suddenly had a feeling of déjà vu. I could see where this conversation was going!

‘No bus. No tram', she continued as she passed me my final invoice to sign. ‘No, you take the Metro. Metro is quicker and easier'

As we both knew how this conversation was going to end, neither of us pushed our request. We left our luggage in the strong room. Our flight wasn't until 19,30 so we had to take the 16:00 aeroport express back to the airport meaning we needed to pick our bags up at 15:30 at the latest. The time was just past 11:30. Plenty of time to mop up a few things we had planned.

As luck would have it, after 3 days of back to front R's, square looking W's with little tails on them and H's that sound like N's, I had been still checking out Russian text on billboards, in shop windows and the destination of buses as they passed by. Walking home from Gorky Park, I'm sure I noticed a bus with the word ‘Krasnaya' on the front. I didn't catch the number but we both agreed it was a start. '

As we arrived at the bus stop we looked up at the board. The destination of the no. 8 bus was definitely Krasnaya and, even better, the second part of the destination was Ploschad, the Russian word for ‘Square'. It got better. Not only did the no.8 go to Red Square but so did the no. 25 trolley bus.

That was the good news. The not so good news was that we couldn't understand the timetable. The buses and trolleys seemed to run every 30 minutes but if our understanding was right they were due within 4 minutes of each other and in 7 minutes time. We waited…and waited…and waited. Our hopes were raised when locals joined us at the bus stop and that is a good indication that a bus is due. However, our hopes were always dashed by the arrival of a bus that was neither a number 8 or 25. 40 minutes later we were finally sat on the number 8 heading in the direction of красная площадь!! The striking feature of Moscow busses has to be the turnstile adjacent to the driver's booth. This has to be a first! Luckily it wasn't rush hour or peak time. No wonder the timetable had no bearing on the actual arrival time of the bus. All it would take is a dozen passengers all having to queue up and proceed through the turn style for the bus to fall behind. The planners obviously hadn't built turnstile time in to the timetable!!

Our first mop up on our final day was to visit Lenin's tomb and the Kremlin necropolis. When Vladimir Lenin, the ‘father' of the revolution, died in 1924, the sate embalmed his body for public display in Red Square. In the first 6 weeks over 100,000 people paid their respects. By 1929 it was determined that it would be possible to preserve the body for much longer than usual; therefore, the next year a new mausoleum of marble and granite was built. When Stalin died in 1953 he was embalmed and laid along side Lenin until Krushchev came along with his de-stalinisation programme in 1961. His body was removed and buried in the walls of the Kremlin Necropolis.

The Kremlin Necropolis is an area of the Kremlin wall behind Lenin's tomb where famous and revered Russians are buried. These range from the aforementioned Stalin, Yuri Gagarin, the first man in space, many of the Russian and Soviet Premiers such as Leonid Brezhnev, Yuri Andropov. There are even foreigners such as the communist activist and political journalist John Reed best remember for his first hand account of the Bolshevik revolution – ‘Ten days that Shook the World'

I read that there is no filming or bags allowed in the mausoleum. Bags and cameras should be left at the Kutayfa tower cloakrooms. Having no idea where this was, we approached the guard at the first checkpoint. Before I could even raise a smile and ask where we could leave our stuff, the guard, stern faced and dressed in a full-length great coat, blocked our way.

‘Nyet, Zakryto', the guard said (or was it commanded?) He moved his rifle from being slung across his shoulder so it was held in both hands across his chest. From the tone of his voice I don't think he was presenting arms!!

‘Govorite li anglisk?i', I asked in my best Bulgarian, being the only Bulgarian I learned from a trip to CSKA Sofia in the 1981 European Cup quarter final!!

‘Closed', said the guard. ‘Come back tomorrow'

Only 5 minutes from Red Square is the Bolshoi Palace Theatre. This was the next stop on our ‘mop up' list. The theatre is home to the world famous Bolshoi Ballet Company and the current home was built in 1924. The Bolshoi is looked upon to be a family rather than a business. One prima ballarina, Anastasia Volochkova once said that she sees the theatre as a ‘big brother.' This is not the term of phrase I would have used bearing in mind where we were!! Unless she was hinting that she would like to appear on a well-known reality TV show!!

After a further 5 minute walk, entering the area of Kitay Gorod, once more we arrived at the 3^rd place on our list, the very large but also very ‘closed' Polytechnic Museum. This museum is one of the oldest science museums in the world and houses some of the most interesting artefacts and machinery/technology from the Soviet era. I could see a pattern developing here!!

If I had bothered to read my guidebook rather than just looking at the pictures, I would have learnt that monuments and museums are closed on Mondays. Not having made it 29 years ago, I wasn't going to see Lenin or Soviet technology of the 1950s and 60s on this trip either. It looks like Roisin's coin throwing antics a few days ago will hang true and we'll have to return to visit these landmarks.

We walked past the snow-covered lawns of Illyinsky Square. Despite much snow having fallen over the past few weeks, the paths through this square along with the pavements throughout Moscow were completely clear of snow, ice and even frost. This is due to the army of snow shovellers employed by the authorities. You can see them working day and night with shovel or pick in hand clearing the snow or hacking at the ice to ensure all public access is clear and danger free.

Passing once again our old friends Cyril and Methodius we entered The Church in the Trinity in Nikniki as we had done during our walking tour several days earlier. The church was much busier than our previous visit. It was probably full of people who couldn't get to see Lenin or the Polytechnic Museum due to it being Monday!

During our final lunch in Canteen 57 in GUM Roisin heard a loud crash. I thought that someone had smashed a plate inside the diner. It was only when we were on the way out that we walked past a small crowd who were looking at a store where the window used to be. There was not much activity happening apart from two security guards talking on a hidden two-way radio. The pane had completely shattered. We couldn't see any missile or projectile that had caused this to happen. The glass had shattered in to a thousand minute fragments and were scattered all over the floor of the mall. The impact must have been from inside the store as the glass was strewn outside. As we had a bus to catch, we couldn't stop even if it was only in the role of curious bystander!

Not being surprised, we waited almost 40 minutes for the bus to arrive. Whilst The Moscow Transport Executive still hasn't built in turnstile waiting time in to their bus schedules we had anticipated the wait and built in this delay in to our departure plans. On our way back to the hotel we passed the instantly recognisable sign of the Golden Arches. It doesn't matter where in the world you are and what alphabet is used to spell the brand (even if you are in Burkino Faso) you will always recognise Mickey D's.

We collected our luggage from the IBIS. I couldn't leave without gloatingly telling the receptionist that we managed to find the correct bus to Red Square. I did see her note the bus number on a note pad. We're happy to do their job for them!!

At the airport, we were informed that we were not allowed ANY liquids or gels, even if contained within a see through plastic bag and presented to the security scanners. This was due to heightened security during the Sochi winter Olympics. This is only a temporary measure but as it was unlikely that this ‘temporary' measure would be lifted between us leaving the check in desk and arriving at the security area, Roisin's bag of gels and liquids had to be placed in her hold luggage!!!

Caveat Emptor. This is Latin for Robbing Bastards!! I am referring to Coffeemania, a franchise in the Departure lounge who changed 700 roubles (£14 or $US21 for a cup of coffee and a pot of tea. On reflection when I saw 700 rung up on the till I should have walked away but like a rabbit caught in the headlights I froze and just handed over the money. News flash: Dick Turpin is alive and living in the departure lounge at Domedodovo airport.

Our flight was even more comfortable than the outward journey. Again, travelling World traveller plus (Premium Economy to you and I!!) we were joined in the cabin of 28 seats by absolutely no one!!! We had the whole cabin to ourselves and 3 cabin crew to fuss over us. I did mention to Johnny, one of our stewards, that it made economical sense to upgrade us to business. He did ask the captain but the answer was, unfortunately: ‘Not this time'! I did only say this tongue in cheek but I can completely understand this decision as Business Class was fairly busy and if I had paid top dollar for the added comfort only to be joined by 2 scousers that hadn't even paid the equivalent of an economy fair between them, I wouldn't be too happy. Nevertheless we both sat back and enjoyed the next 3 ½ hours in our own private cabin.

We had only been in Moscow for a few days. We have walked so far and seen so much that it feels like we have been here much longer.

They say Moscow is one of the most expensive cities in the world. Not too sure how they work that out. Perhaps the survey was just based around the café in the Departures at the airport, I don't know but 3 nights in a clean comfortable hotel together with 2 evening meals and drinks cost £250 for 2 of us. Elena, our walking guide, said that utilities are very cheap in Russia and so is public transport but food and clothes are relatively expensive. In that respect nothing has changed much since 1985. I remember pricing fur hats at £200 yet everyone seemed to be wearing one. In comparison fur coats today cost £1000s although it's common to see woman (of a certain age) wearing the latest fashions!!

Roisin was surprised as to the colour and vibrancy of the city. People were very friendly and willing to try to speak English. That has certainly changed. Like the Wizard of Oz I recall Moscow being in Black and white/Grey and it is now most definitely in glorious Technicolor.

We will without doubt return to Moscow. Maybe in springtime. And not on a Monday!!

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Photos

Caveat Emptor. Latin for robbing bastards!!
Coffeemania in the Departure Lounge charged 700 roubles (£14 or $US21) for a cup of coffee and a pot of tea!!