"Lena Blitzkieg-Schicklgruber has won the Eurovision Song Contest", says the radio as we're on our way to the airport. I don't care much about mindless pop music, so I switch channels. "...first German victory in at least 100 years..." Switch. "...her light-hearted song 'Cum on my face, Robbie Williams' has won the hearts of the brainwashed masses..." Switch. "...finally Germans can be proud of their country again, the dishonour we suffered in WWII has been remedied..." I use the convenient pocket hatch I always carry with me to smash the radio to smithereens, screaming hysterically in the process. "Thank you", says my dad, flipping off the driver of the car he overtakes, as is his custom. J. and I arrive at Luqa Airport after an easy two-and-a-half-hour flight, exit the terminal, where the bus to Valletta
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