BL #15: Sample A Swedish Smorgasbord

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Geo: 60.0994, 19.9203

Swedes absolutely love their smorgasbords, as do the rest of the Scandinavians, though they may call it by a different name. It's quite the luxury in expensive Scandinavia, to be able to pay a set price and completely stuff yourself without worrying about racking up an further charges! A smorgasbord is really nothing more than a typical buffet of both cold and hot foods, but is a beloved Swedish tradition with a certain protocol for when and how to eat the various foods.

Swedes absolutely love their cold fish, so the first plate is usually an assortment of lox, herring, and eel - aside from some of the herring dishes, we've found the salmon dishes in Sweden to be top-notch, whether it be lox or smoked. In fact, we probably gobbled down two or three dishes tonight that were overflowing with lox and peel and eat shrimp. Truth be told, we were already getting fairly full off of the fish, but needed to stick with tradition, and move on to the various salads, cold cuts, and cheeses that were now beckoning us.

It's a good thing that we found the hot dishes to be somewhat disappointing, since we were beyond full by the point we were ready for them. Of course, having been trained on North American buffets for years, where there's no rhyme or reason to the grotesque amount of gorging - it's simply about stuffing yourself to the point of puking, and ensuring that you get good "value" out of it - we were more than prepared to cram down a few more plates of food!

Sausages, meat balls, chicken, steak, salmon, potatoes ... it was a blur of meats and side dishes sliding down our gullets, even though we really only found the flank steak tasty. But taste doesn't matter at an all-you-can-eat affair, it's only about the value, right? With that in mind, we tackled the dessert table next - again, it was similar to the hot dishes, in that we only found one item to be tasty. The profiteroles were fantastic, little chocolatey, creamy orbs of goodness that we kept popping, one after another, like addicted pro athletes on painkillers!

While we ate a disgusting amount of food tonight, what really put us over the top was the fact that house wine and beer was included in the price - dangerous, especially when we've been avoiding alcohol for the most part, put off by the high Scandinavian prices. It's like starving a man for weeks and then sticking him in front of an all-you-can-eat buffet - what would you expect to happen? Wait a second ... that's exactly what happened tonight, it's like we were let out of jail!!

The damage for tonight's gorge fest was really quite reasonable, at 33 Euros a head - we managed to snag such a spectacular Scandinavian deal since we were taking an overnight ferry to Helsinki. Theses cruises aren't much more than glorified booze cruises where passengers stuff themselves on food and cheap alcohol, while doing as much duty-free shopping as possible. While these night ferries between Stockholm and Helsinki are cheap and easy transport between the cities, for most heavily-taxed Swedes and Finns, they are a good excuse for a short getaway.

The ferries cost next to nothing - our private cabin for the night, while nothing fancy, still cost only 78 Euros for both of us. Do the math, and you'll see the value - 78 Euros wouldn't get us a half-decent room for the night in either city, let alone cover transport for both of us. It was a simple decision for us to hop aboard one of these boats, because it made so much sense - it helped us squeeze in a quick stopover in Helsinki, and actually saved us money. In fact, you can even do it for cheaper on the Viking Line - there's a smaller cabin available for 58 Euros, and you can even book a cheaper dorm-style cabin with showers and toilets down the hall.

The cruise lines don't make a lot on the cruise fare itself, keeping prices low to encourage people to go along for the ride, as they count on the average guest to spend a significant amount more while on board. It's not the first time I've cruised from Stockholm to Helsinki, but I was far too cheap to spend the money for the famous smorgasbord served on that prior cruise. Being cheapos, we weren't going to spend much in the bars or duty-free shops, but splurge on a massive food spread? Hell yeah, we're always up for that!

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Photos

Sergels Torg ...
... the heart of Stockholm's modern city.

Kulturhuset ...
... Stockholm's culture house. These chairs were deceptive - from afar, I thought they were comfy loungers, but they turned out to be hard plastic. Making them even more uncomfortable is the fact that they seem to have been designed for Swedish giants.

Splurging On An Ocean View Cabin ...
... we lucked out and had a spectacular view of this lighthouse for the entire duration of our cruise - positively magical! It's possible that this was just a picture and not a porthole, but we were so sloshed after all that included wine at dinner, that we'll never really know ...

If Only ...
... we had the time to come to Hotorgshallen, Stockholm's gourmet market, before departing for Grinda yesterday - then we could've also grilled some of these incredible-looking seafood skewers. The picture is deceptive - the chunks of fish and prawns were huge, and a single skewer would've made a very substantial lunch.

Make Your Own Blinis At the Smorgasbord ...
... kinda fun and definitely delicious, where we concocted a bite-sized pancake stacked with lox, creme fraiche, and three types of caviar.

Cold Was Better Than Hot ...
... we found the cold buffet far superior to the hot dishes, with excellent lox and caviar, peel and eat shrimp, and some great salami. One of the pleasant surprises was the cold roast beef, which was super tender and available nicely pink and medium.

Dangerous ...
... wine at the smorg was self serve, out of these spouts. This was dangerous after largely being deprived of wine up until now, so we drank as quickly as we ate. Positively ill and overly stuffed with wine and food, we needed a 90 minute nap right after dinner!

Chanterelle Heaven ...
... too bad we never really sampled any in Scandinavia.

Kajsas Fisk Restaurang ...
... I ate here twice six years ago, because of both the taste and spectacular value. The fish soup comes with bread, a simple salad, and tap water (it may not sound like it, but free tap water is a bit of a luxury in a restaurant in Scandinavia - some places in Copenhagen actually charge for it). Plus, you get one free soup refill - however, you only end up with just fish and about 2/3 of the broth from the first go around, as they don't give you any more shrimp or mussels, nor a full bowl of soup.