Advertisement
No entry for a while so here is a glut- my entire summarised travel in Laos.
Got into Vientiane after the 21 hr bus ride. They had loaded all spare space with packages of food- running a trade as well as a transport service. At least it wasn't livestock- chickens pecking at the feet = not so good. This combined with back seats that don't recline and separation frames that were too narrow for my shoulders should've led to a totally draining experience but it was more akin to being in a sort of deep space stasis of half consciousness. Was not impressed all in all but there is much worse bus trips for tourists around I suppose so my complaining is not much of a thing.
Rested that afternoon in an adequate clean place and proceeded to get well drunk and sociable that evening. The next day I ate my first good pizza in Asia with a big salad side followed by a visit to a Laos history museum. This was ok with the highlights definitely being the communist style statues- so
strong and powerful in their angles and posture. I then got a somewhat pricey traditional Laos massage where I had to dress in a pink pajama outfit what was way too big pants wise and somewhat small topwise. Such a stylish man I be.
Kindof accidentally I went to one of the major landmarks of Vientiane and was awestruck by the magnificence of this golden temple thingy. I will commandeer said building as part of my mortuary theme park. I believe it will require a bond villain level laser gun cutter, seventeen apaches and a dark and stormy night with no lightning but plenty of thunder (my crack team of scientists are developing new methods... or is it that my team of crack meth-heads are a new development in science? No matter). Otherwise, so far I have some bond films and a promising weather forecast.
The surrounding buildings were well cool too with some funky buddhist art. I played up with a Malaysian girl a bit before and later she came into a building I was in. There was no-one else
there and, I guess due to the reverent nature of the building, she asked me if she could go into a particular room I had just came out of but maybe she had not seen me in. I mumbled something like "sure" and when she'd taken three steps in I burst out "No you can't go in there!" I managed to hold a serious face for about a second as she panicked somewhat and then i broke and laughed. Fortunately she had a sense of humor too and didn't fly kick me out the door and down the many many holy steps. Which could've also been funny. Were I Jackie Chan.
I stocked up on technology as well as various meds and managed to steal some awesome onsold bug spray inadvertently after talking to the pharmacist dude for quite a while but I went back and paid the next day cos I can't complain about being ripped off if I start ripping off the wee little folke of Asia now can I? But as a side note it kinda is a possible way to steal shit. You could work out a
method.
More drinking and chatting late into the night saw me lose half the next day. One of the guys had a prominent face tattoo and i asked him about it. He told me it was an outward sign that he was not to be controlled by anyone or anything be it regular people, authority, social norms or threatening types.
I booked a ticket out of the city and tried to curb my ridiculous spending with a local bus ride to "Buddha Park" instead of a taxi. A helpful bus driver misunderstood my intended direction and sent me off to another bus station far away from my goal to buy a ticket for a place that is almost the same spelling in Laos as their word for Buddha Park. I swore once I realised and, due to timing, had to take one of these motor-cycle-trailer-taxi things i had originally avoided all the way back and across for an expensive amount BUT I did get to witness an interesting scene along the way I would've missed otherwise. An older man on a bicycle
was being chased by three barking dogs- two of damage-inducing size. He slowed somewhat, vaulted off the bike and picked up a rock which he hurled at them. The dogs took off equally quickly and a lot less bark-happy. I thought it was great. I was originally concerned for his well being (i'd already scoped a lead pipe out on the trailer) but the pack were all bark and all it took was him to show them. I take heart in this little moment.
Eventually got to Buddha Park and was full of chuckle at how great it was. I had the place to myself as it was near closing time what also helped. It is basically statues of buddhas and Hindu gods and demons and full of moments of "well that is the most crazy statue I've seen for a while but oh, look there's another." Only a half century old, they have been stylised as ancient. Well cool.
Took a ride back with a Latino Swiss girl. She was young, had a wedding ring on but I guessed correctly it
Clothes maketh the man...
... and maketh the statue appear as a man.was a fake, a ward to keep men at a respectful distance from a solo traveller if she wanted to. I laughed at this ruse and told her yes, but not all men would really care. I was invited out but when I got to the place she was intensely involved with a dashing friendly Belgium gentlemen. No matter, I found a handful of different people I'd had a joking philosophical time with previously and a couple more besides.
Went to Vang Vieng- an adventure town full of party people. Lots of tourists died here over the years through drug, alcohol, stupidity and water related misfortune. They had recently shut down most of the bars along the river but it still seems fairly party central based on initial impressions.
Got myself a pushbike to visit a waterfall (and regain some fitness). Unfortunately it was a one speed bike, complete with hand-basket, and it was a mountain bike requiring trail. Well I guess I got my workout. It started raining and I laughed realising I was irritated by what is essentially water-falling interrupting my view of the ok waterfall. Good time
though- next to no people there so I quite enjoyed the peace of the forest. I hung my clothes up on the railing of a shack and bathed in a tiny pool with a tiny waterfall all for my tiny self.
The return journey was a different way then I had arrived and even more hectic. Picture Agatha Christie teleported into an extreme sports event (picture her..! *shakes fist*). Despite the numerous opportunities, I didn't stack and DID manage to go the right way back. I destroyed that bike. Well muddied it up good and proper. By the time I got it back to the shop it was more a piece of pottery than a vehicle of transportation, covered as it was in clay. Ha!
The hostel owner appeared a little impressed I actually made the trek with a crappy no-gear bike. Impressed with my stupidity no doubt but hey, take compliments when you can I say.
I went out that night with various people to a tourist beacon bar and had a
decent time. Arranged with an older dude I'd met on the way to the waterfall to go tubing the next day as his girlfriend wasn't interested.
We eventually met the next day to go on THE experience in Vieng Viang; floating down the river stopping at bars and being idiots. The view was well cool and the tube itself yet another riding experience I now have more skill in. We stopped at the first bar for a few hours and it was great. Maybe too many dudes but great all the same. There was a basketball court that sprayed water from the backboard, a botchi lane, a volleyball court and plenty of bikini clad women to entertain me (but I really only had a good play with a couple of them I accidentally had to speak to... one even stole my super queer sunglasses I'd only just bought partly cos I forgot mine and perhaps subconsciously partly to look more like the ultimate dipshit I had previously envisioned would be a big fan of tubing- that was a funny conversation beginning with me earnestly explaining I was an adamant white supremacist
and the sunscreen application was merely a measure to maintain the external purity of my proud white skin. The poor latino dude next to her didn't know what to say but she saw through it... eventually lol.)
We left eventually and briefly stopped at a second bar before getting a lift back. I proceeded to begin my normal abnormal drinking patterns and found myself in an interesting learning discussion with the owner of the place on various political voting schemes. A colour card method he introduced was quite appealing in that it allows a greater range of direction of policy than a simple yes or no for or against kinda thing. He also advised me to let the negative shite from people flow past. I ended the night well into the next morning talking nerd speak with various Irish, English and Nordic folk.
The next day was a write off. Vivid half conscious dreams and sorting out some things in a practical fashion. Nothing interesting really. Working on the blog- probably the highlight.
<br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal;"
/>Ate an otherwise tasty pizza what had a full thumbs worth of ginger shredded onto it. Terrible innovation. I got another bike, this time I was clever enough to get a mountain bike although it took a little while to use said cleverness to work out the kinks of the gears and the correct direction. Met a small group of mostly girls and went the rest of the way to the caves and lagoon. The cave was great- whilst a neon lit caves mean you can walk around fine, an unlit cave provides more of an adventure. Pretty slippery, with some actual difficult navigation, I've learnt shoes are the best option 90% of the time. The Canadian played Paul Simon after a previous chat and it was kinda funny to hear in the relative darkness. I didnt swim as i was kinda cold after the cave what with the sweat and setting sun. The Canadian balked at the branch jump but eventually conquered her every instinct and jumped in after everyone had basically stopped looking and talking to her about it. I said nothing. I know that shit can be well scary when you stop and think and anything I
mighta said was already in the air so... They were a bright and fun enough crowd and liked my bad jokes but I intended on leaving for the other direction so didn't go out with them afterwards.
Got up and gathered my stuff. Left some good 200g of clay on the tiled floor as a tip but oh well. Had just paid for shoe cleaning before and now they are near as bad as after sapa. It was highly uncharacteristic of me to bother with the clean- another fine lesson reminding me I am clearly already perfection personified. Made it out the door, paid my bill, bought another awesome western meal and was packed onto a mini-bus.
The driver was fast, so fast in fact he took off without me after the first stop. But I was pretty calm about it really. I would've worked it out if he hadn't come back. I held onto his shirt with a worried look at the next stop though. I hope he got the joke. People were pretty worried by his driving and whilst I
near-puked at some point as he whipped around the mountain curves, I saw two choices, stay on/hop off, and chose not to think about it. He seemed like he knew what he was doing. I pretty much half slept listening to the wisdom and immaturity of Joe Rogan et al and music. The other half of me was wide awake resisting valiantly me sliding off the chair or banging my head on the glass. Pretty successful but yeah, road travel... what can you do? (*ponders own question... shrugs and starts flapping arms*).
He got us there early I think and dropped us off at the tourist bus depot (read: additional tjuk-tjuk transport fees). Kinda sucks you get slugged this way but really it's only $2.50 on top of the $15 or so it cost to get here. Still I tried to get speedy gonzalez to take us into town and thought about negotiating tjuk tjuk but the price was fair. One thing about Laos people is that they don't really barter much. They tell you the price and they don't move much from it if at all. And mostly it is
a good price considering (but definitely not always). They would rather not bother than secure your custom. Not as mercantile as any of the other Asian peoples I've dealt with and maybe they just don't really care so much about money. A happy and pleasant people too in general so yeah... good thing I guess.
I got an ok place and finally found my second Asian dish in Laos. It was ok but not going back.
The Next day I overslept with minimal alcohol the night before but the nightmares were vivid for sure as in "get up and do stuff" kinda deal. So I went for a walk and found a great deal many things but the highlight was a great little art gallery. I was right- the Laos people have a great creative streak as a part of their qualities. I found the guy I went tubing with yet again and resolved to meet up that evening. Internet and dealing with travel agencies unfortunately told my free-wheeling self that a visa in Thailand should've been gotten in Vientiane if I
want it longer than 14 days overland or 1 month via flight. So now I have to figure out what I want to do to meet my friends and be able to stay long enough. Also saw the option for "the gibbon experience" in a freshly secured guidebook that you need to book far in advance. Damn my unplanned meandering.
So I looked for a tour and from several places what I gathered it would cost a bullshit amount to book some tour as it would just be by myself. Not impressed. Fortunately my friend I met with in Vang Vieng told me of his guest house what organised tours at a reasonable price. I had a great little stew at an Aussie bar and called it a night.
Up far too early I made my way to this guesthouse and spent a long time trying to work out if these tours I was booking was just for myself. My mate's Thai girlfriend eventually cleared it up but when a cute friendly Japanese girl came downstairs and asked if I was going
on the tour, it was deal sealed.
We took a long ride down the river to a cave with many enough people and she was fun. We pulled into a village where the guide told us a bottle of liquor they make was 20k kip and as I went to pay they said 30k Kip... two can play at this game and another dude in line- I said we are buying together so only paid 25k each.
Bought some nice gift pants for a negotiated 22k and they had no change so gave it for 20k. I went next door and actually paid 8k for a coffee can instead of 10k in order to pay the extra 2k agreed upon. Robbing Peter to pay Paul? I don't know but somehow it worked and I realised I had crossed into some kind of (almost certainly temporary) threshold of not being ripped off but not ripping off. Some cherman asked me where I got the coffee from and I responded "from the blood of the Laos people"... I let the comment stand a little
Note the crazy boys in the background
And the one in front, with the pretty girl and then laughed and explained. So they talked to me later as opposed to making hex signs but oh well.
The cave was not bad- full of Buddha statues and an actual guided meditation I shut the hell up for and tiptoed past. The second cave was harder to get to, and was dark, but I did find a t-rex skull lined with Buddha teethe.
My Japanese friend fell asleep on the way back. She totally looked liked a powered down robot slumped in her seat. I had to take a photo and showed her later. Also saw some Laos house-boats and man... they take that term too literally. It is actually like a long normal thin Asian boat what had a house ripped out of suburbia and welded to it. Awesome.
Barely got back in time for the second tour what was what I actually wanted to see most- a bear enclave and a freshwater pool/waterfall setup. It went from torrential rain pickup to super sunny sun on arrival. It was a
group of 10 and the driver told us all to be back in half an hour till he looked at me (as the eldest-baldest-most-gentlemen) I refused and politely negotiated back to what it should be at 2hrs. Ridiculous. Several thanked me after the final allotted time had passed as it was an awesome place and needed the proper time, not his lazy ass scam time. What a dick but yeah, gotsta stand your ground sometimes. And I'm learning this *uncomfortable wobbly hero stance*.
So we saw the saved bears and were greeted with wails of pain. This ain't no Winnie the Pooh Bear (I loved that show years back)- there was a bear mounting another, I don't think it was sexual- no boner- but big slobber on the shoulder the dominant bear was a-biting on. I moved on across and then there was bears sitting around having a good time, cute for tourists, not the other bitey shit what cut out soon after I moved away. We went and saw some really beautiful part of the world- turquoise pools of freshwater pools filled with waterfall flow. There was a popular section
How now Laos cow?
OK so terrible photo but what a great comment... and no-one else was there to hear it. with a swing and jumps and I have done these before but I don't like a crowd and we moved on and up.
Very beautiful place. Met another girl and made it to the main falls after many photos. Saw some young Asian dudes climb to a 7m drop into the main waterfall pool- too intimidating for me so I was impressed. We hiked further up the mountain and took a closed path on the earlier recommendation of a dude at a guest house (he had cloven hooves, tiny horns, pan-pipes and a maniacal laugh so I knew for sure he was to be trusted). Found this so called dangerous path much less difficult than I'm used to in Australia in some kind of bizzaro world twist on safety standards. It led to a tiny paradise.
There was a little bit of difficulty getting down so I led the way and was the gentleman (and the scallop that i be) helping the girls down too. They were busy with the photo taking all girls, particularly those of Asian descent seem obsessed with,
and I took the opportunity to slip off into the water. The clear, turquoise, non-peopled water and bathed under the end of the fall in that section. Fantastic.
The new girl was well impressed with the wildness of the adventure and I quite liked it too but it really was super easy to get to and I kept my mouth mostly shut regarding the ease of the trek as it was clearly a big deal for her (and granted I slipped a little here and there but remained vertical so I guess it wasn't that easy).
I went out with Emi, the Japanese girl, after the waterfall, bear-bitey place. We had a nice enough feed at a bakery where she said something very Japanese- "my stomach was surprised." I thought it was funny leastways. We went out later to the night market and dinner. Company is good.
The next day I sorted out some various things and called the farjah for his birthday but he was not home. Met with Emi and took
her to a decent little Laos restaurant I found before. She went all Japanese on me again and used the words hand, taste and stimulating in the same short sentence. I looked away but my eyes betrayed my amusement and she picked up on it so I had to explain the sexual connotations and that she should play with it in the future, feigning ignorance and innocence. We went a-templing next and later she took me to the temple top of the hill to watch the sunset. The actual sunset was obscured by clouds but there was some wicked light refraction a la aurora borealis painting pearl in the sky. Didn't bring my camera but it matters not- it could not hope to capture the beauty.
So my companion left early in the morning and I spent the day wandering, drinking, eating, and getting massages. Too much of all of the above really, things got errrmmm... a bit messy, but I cleaned up as best I could and overtipped the guesthouse with an apologetic explanation. It was a relief actually to discover the red-
brown substance covering the sheets and my shirt was puke and not blood. I rarely rarely proper spew, maybe five times in my life (and thats giving concession to times i not be aware of) but i have gone-a-sleep-walking what has landed me in some strange strange situations and I thought maybe I had flipped some crazy rampage switch and gone out a-butchering although even my fuzzy brain worked out I couldn't of had the co-ordination for such (and also I have left my tomahawk at home... customs officers... such an overly pedantic bunch).
Advertisement
Tot: 0.112s; Tpl: 0.027s; cc: 7; qc: 46; dbt: 0.0469s; 1; m:domysql w:travelblog (10.17.0.13); sld: 1;
; mem: 1.2mb
rooster
non-member comment
PLEASE tell me you got the painting of the toothless old woman holding the mobile phone? shes gorgeous!!!!!