Advertisement
Hello all,
Writing from the lovely island of Koh Phangnan where we have spent three relaxing and painful days. But let me start in Bangkok
Bangkok sure lived up to it's phallic name. As Vianne had said to every western traveller that we met, she finally hit the sex show with her kids. It really hasn't been a lifelong ambition to go to a sex show with your mother and law but I realize now that I have a hit reality television show in the making. TRAVELLING TO A THIRD WORLD NATION WITH YOUR MOTHER IN LAW. It will be huge and since I will be unemployed when I get back, I will be happy to star with Vianne on some other adventure. Imagine the fireworks of the sequel, TRAVELLING TO IRAQ WITH YOUR MOTHER IN LAW: SEE THE BOMBS FLY (LITERALLY).
We had our good times, we had our rough times, and either way, it's great television. By the way, what makes a nation a third world nation? Many of the countries we've been to had much poverty but also western conveniences for the right price. Does this mean that they are just partially third world? Also, when does
a nation become second world, or do they jump directly to a first world nation after they get water that you can drink from the tap, dogs that don't look like Ethiopian children, and no defecation in the river?
Anyway, we're at the sex show and in perverted honesty, I was intrigued to be there. My one opportunity to go to a previous sex show was in Amsterdam, but my geeky tour group pussed out so Bangkok would devirginize me. I have heard about the infamous pingpong ball trick and secretly wondered how far the balls traveled and if I should have brought a paddle. Like most things in life, it wasn't as good as I thought it would be or as bad as I feared. It was expensive (in Thai standards $7 U.S. ) to get in and the girls weren't into it at all. In the U.S. the strippers come up to you, flirt with you, and act as if they're not just around you for your cash. These girls looked bored. They would dance to repetitive techno music and you can tell that they were thinking about something else besides me. I usually expect that from
Danielle, but not from a chick that I want to give some serious Baht (Thai Money) to. After their dances, they would come up to you and flirt, but even then, you could tell that they would rather be watching a pirated copy of The Day After Tomorrow, than spend one more minute with you. But the key is, not to blow your wad too soon. Cash wad that is.
My brother Jason (who met us in Bangkok) took the brunt of it because he had no one sitting next to him and I had the ring on my finger and the wife next to me, so Jay took one for the team. They were giving him weak massages and asking for a coke. Jason, being the nice and inexperienced traveler that he is, asked me for a 100 Baht ($2.50) and wanted to get out of there asap after buying a couple of cokes for the ladies. Unfortunately, that's how they make you stick around, by showing some crappy acts while you blow your money on drinks and the "ladies". Also, never meet their eyes when they're dancing. You want to be nice and smile at them when
they're "performing", but in their eyes that means that you like them and you will give them more money. Danielle and I got hit a few times from these girls who seemed to love my facial hair and wanted a threesome with Danielle and I. After failing to convince Danielle, I declined the offer reluctantly.
The girls in all actuality weren't attractive. They all had the same pudgy bodies and some had C-section scars that kept the baht inside my pocket. Luckily, after Water woman, and the Razor blade girl went, the Ping pong chick came (no pun intended). I wasn't impressed because instead of becoming speeding projectiles, the balls simply rolled down her leg into a cup, down her leg. Impressive, but not the Pete Sampras serve I was expecting. Razor blade girl was the most impressive. Lets just say, long string attached with razor blades and no cuts. I get nicks from my Gilette, so I'm proud of the girl and gave her plenty of Baht. I won't tell you about the water girl because it is rather nasty but for those interested, I'll be happy to share. Just don't ask me during a meal. Let's just
say that the water changed color. ’Nuff said. After the ping pong, we were out of there and I can die saying that I went to a sex show with my Mother in Law..
Bangkok is just sensory overload. 24/7. It's great to stay a couple of days, but to live here would be well...sensory overload. It's a non-stop city where parties don't end. Gay, straight, or in-between are here. It's nice to come to a more western city again and to finally have air conditioning again.
Take care of yourselves and always carry a paddle just in case....
Eric
Advertisement
Tot: 0.041s; Tpl: 0.013s; cc: 9; qc: 23; dbt: 0.0203s; 1; m:domysql w:travelblog (10.17.0.13); sld: 1;
; mem: 1.1mb
nha vy
non-member comment
I'm a vietnamese. U need to know the difference btw cambodian and vietnamese. I don't like what you put about vietnamese girls. Needs more picture of vietnam