Boyfriend is traveling the USA for 11 weeks. I want to support him wholeheartedly whilst also looking after myself!
I met my boyfriend in December of last year. He is fantastic; still early days of course, but I am excited to see what the future holds for us.
On our first date he told me of his plans to travel North America in the summer. One of things I loved about him was his sense of adventure! He later asked me to be his girlfriend and I never once saw his trip as an issue, but an entirely fantastic experience for him. He too felt the same way - it would be worth it. The departure date came around all too fast and he is now at the start of his trip. It was sad to say goodbye but I know that this is something he must do for his own fulfillment, and that if I am to hope for a future with him I will support him wholeheartedly.
I am not a particularly experienced traveler; I've spent trips of several days/weeks in Europe, but nothing as long-term as this. He however, does have experience of traveling and I can tell it is something he is hugely passionate about. We have made plans for his return, and are very much wanting to try our best for the relationship. Before he left he did say that he of course had no plans to cheat on me; which I believe. However, he also said that he will be meeting lots of new people, which I was fully aware of when I entered in to the relationship, and that we will be separated for a long time relative to our time together so far. I told him, something I'm not sure if I regret now, that if anything was to happen whilst he was there that I would not want to know about it.
However, whilst I'm sure it will get easier, it is hard to be the one left behind. I would never dream of getting in the way of his plans (and if I did, I obviously wouldn't be the right girl for him!), but I am struggling a little with the separation from him and knowing that I will feel this for another ten weeks yet. So far we have communicated online, and I don't want to be the annoying girlfriend back home constantly needing to hear from him.
Maybe I am romanticizing, but I want to give love a chance. Any advice for the person left behind by a traveling partner? Not only in how to support their experience, but to be at peace within myself too and not an emotional wreck. Thanks!
Reply to this In response to: Msg #191339 Your concerns will receive much more of a response if you put it on the appropriate forum.
As for my response, you are asking a question that seems to arise very often. The general advice is that you should not try to stop your boyfriend from traveling...what do you expect to hear from a website dedicated to passionate travelers? However, many of us are in similar situations with either a friend, partner, spouse, etc. are not so enthusiastic about travel. So many couples do not travel together. In my case, my wife only joins me for about half my trips...every other trip I try to make it to a destination that she would like to visit. As you are in a new relationship, you have more insecurity about being apart. Go slow...and do not commit too much emotionally until you know him better as he might see you as being too dependent and controlling. You want to avoid the pathologies that can cause dysfunctional relationships...many books on that subject.
Reply to this By the way, I'm a Moderator. One of my jobs is to identify spammers. You don't fit the profile of a spammer, but I will keep you in the NEW category until you write a blog about a trip. Hopefully, you can join him for a shorter trip and blog about that experience.
Reply to this Thanks so much for your reply. I will take your advice. I'm planning two short trips this summer which I'm very excited for! Thanks again.
Reply to this Thanks so much for your reply. I will take your advice. I'm planning two short trips this summer which I'm very excited for! Thanks again.
Reply to this Our advice--
Don't let your mind go crazy about this separation. You need to stay busy.
Meeting someone you click with is great. Telling them you support their decision and need to travel is smart. Now you have to truly be happy and support it. He needs to follow his travel plan.
I would recommend reading some blogs on this web site about each place he is visiting. That way you can ask questions when you here from him. You may be able to give him some suggestions on additional things he will see.
Stay busy. Stay busy with friends and things you really enjoy doing. If he comes back to find that you sat around moping it may not sit will with him. Find your love, find your passion while he is gone.
Bob gave you some great advice.
Reply to this Did he ever suggest that you go out and meet him for a week or two?
Reply to this In response to: Msg #191339 Perhaps he could join Travel Blog. He can post pictures and updates about his trip that will let you - and his other friends - see what he's doing, and he will have a nice record of his journey once he gets home.
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