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Published: June 19th 2007
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Balcony Shot #1
Rainy season is best for this stuff. The nice thing about chicken is it never goes bad. It’s like honey that way. I’m not sure if there’s anything nicer in this world than laying in the hammock on my balcony feeling it cool down as a storm rolls out over the Caribbean. I don’t exactly understand what it is about the ability to wait for something that is considered virtuous. If thusly deemed, I’d like to bestow the title of suckiest virtue ever. I think adding it to the virtues is a trick by the elderly who have failed to learn the lessons of life and become more kind, forgiving, honest, faithful, charitable or virtuous in any real way. This could just be me deprecating a virtue I don’t have of course as I’m on board with the owl from the tootsie pop commercial, one, two, CRUNCH three. They have been working for some time now on the tallest building in Colombia, a high-end sea front apartment building in Cartegena. The wind recently almost blew it over even though the windows and other traditional wind catching apparati have not yet been installed. They are currently deconstructing the entire building that was nearing completion and planning to start
again from scratch. I saw Spider Man III, apparently alien symbiotes make you great dancers in a not so manly way. People call all cereal here Corn Flakes, like we call all copiers Xerox machines. Do you want Corn Flakes? Yes, give me Fruit Loops. The real name of Public Enemy lead singer Chuck D is Carlton Douglas Ridenhour. Although his middle name starts with D, he claims his stage name stands for Chuck “Dangerous” which is really lame.* I love the chronic WHAT les of Narnia. I’ve been trying to buy all of the Chronicles of Narnia books in Spanish but they are crazy expensive here, like $18 each. That’s American dollars. Probably a good idea that books are so costly here, we wouldn’t want the masses reading. Subversive. One thing that is awesome about being a gringo, we can get into the nicest restaurants in town wearing flip flops no matter the dress code because, “gringos always wear flip flops,” the bouncer said to the complaining Colombian. I’m generally anti-flip flop but here the heat makes them necessary. The streets are on a grid here, with Calles running East-West, and Carreras running North-South, which are then numbered. This
makes it very easy to find, Calle 25 #15 (the Carrera). An address is given Calle 25 #15-87, which means Calle 25 obviously, in between Carrera 15 and 16, 87 meters from the corner. I know this is all very complicated, but so is getting an address in Kansas City and trying to find where Farley Circle meets Antioch, if you have never heard of either street. Many of the Colombian ladies only wash their hair at the peluqueria (hairdresser) meaning they only do it once or twice a week. This affords me the freedom to not wash my hair without criticism. Sometimes Venus is so bright it leaves a reflection line on the ocean. I just found out blood type A people are the most resistant to Cholera. Sweet ass! Stick that in your contaminated drinking water pipe and smoke it Cholera.** Daniel Boone’s son, Daniel Morgan Boone is credited with founding Kansas City. He died of Cholera. When you are screaming for help in Spanish you don’t yell ayuda! as is commonly translated, but auxilio! (OWks-ee-leeeo) which sounds like Emilio! From Night at the Roxbury’s. You might have realized I am not good at writing things phonetically. My
Balcony Shot #4
That of course turns into this. favorite students are the ones who bust me when I don’t plan a lesson. I miss the days when you were considered a “fag” if you didn’t get a Suicide as your free concession drink after a SSJBA baseball game.*** I like the sense of conformity it taught as well as the fear of homos. Concerning summer plans, I plan on staying in a little house in the Andes, in a little town Salento, near the Valle de Cocoro. I’ll be there for a month, and afterwards am planning on coming to North America. The problems of course are time and money as I’m due back at work August 8th, which gives a little less than the advertised two months off. My best guess is that I’ll be up there sometime in late July, early August, right before I’m due back at work. I leave this Saturday, and therefore can’t promise much contact this summer, so if you have anything pressing to tell me or ask me, try and do so before Friday afternoon.
Impressive album:Richard Shindell’s South of Delia is a pleasant surprise after his previous effort, the song Lawrence, KS may sadly be the worst on the
Balcony Shot #5
And ends up looking like this. album.
Repressive weather: Summertime in Kansas
Depressing Movie: Match Point, watching the slow march towards murder isn’t my idea of time well spent, kind of like reading Crime and Punishment without its “happy” ending.
Bench-pressing: Really hard, unless you’re super strong like me.
Ghost like Swazy,
Tyrophile****
I want to give a picture of Dublin so complete that if the city suddenly disappeared from the earth it could be reconstructed out of my book. - James Joyce
What Jesus blatantly fails to appreciate is that it's the meek who are the problem. - Reg, Monty Python´s The Life of Brian
If the misery of the poor be caused not by the laws of nature, but by our institutions, great is our sin. - Charles Darwin, The Voyage of the Beagle, reflecting on slavery in South America
*Chuck D has continued his renowned support of law enforcement as one of the car radio deejays on Grand Theft Auto.
**The major contributions to fighting cholera were made by physician and self-trained scientist John Snow (1813-1858), who found the link between cholera and contaminated drinking water in 1854 and Henry Whitehead, an Anglican minister and Big Al´s grandfather, who helped John Snow track down and verify the source of the disease, an infected well in London
***South Suburban Junior Baseball Association, where you played little league baseball in South Kansas City. A suicide is a mixture of all the carbonated beverages (coke, sprite, orange, root beer, etc.), a sickeningly sweet concoction guaranteed to make you not gay. Finally a cure!!!
****A tyrophile is someone who loves cheese.
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samaria
non-member comment
talking about people from santa marta
i wash my hair almost every day,i like different kinds of cereals and i call them by their name.and gringos should wear nice shoes. ladies from santa marta wear nice outfit. enjoy your vacation