Advertisement
Published: July 12th 2007
Edit Blog Post
I've become a mountain man. I recently for the first time tamed and rode a Nor'easter to town. I have been certainly secluded in and loving the mountains. Since I left school I went to Piero's bday party at a gun range in Bogota where all the posters of the bad guys have mustaches (confirming suspicions). I touched the inside of a hippo's mouth, saw a baby Andean spectacled bear (rarest bear in the world). I've been woken up in the middle of the night by an earthquake. While riding my “mountain horse” in said mountains, it lost it's footing, flipped over backwards while climbing a particularly steep rocky incline, narrowly avoided smashing me as I was fortunantly thrown clear (by about 2 inches). It is now off mountain duty. I love the fact that instead of blistering in the day and suffocating at night, the temperature here is warm in the day and brisk at night, makes for a much more pleasant day. I came to this town with some friends, one of them Tonio who is deathly afraid of chickens, which is a problem on a farm with about 20 of them including a rooster whose internal clock
is off and crows at exactly 215 in the morning everyday. The town I live in doesn´t even have a jail although there is a lockable room for the overly intoxicated. This is mildly ironic as it was founded as a penal colony. I'd try and describe the place but I'd inevitably fail to do it justice, the pictures help but don't quite do the job. I sometimes think I got into a car wreck drving there and was in heaven, except heaven has to have better internet access. If I could chose the next step in human evolution I'd make it so foot massages feel just as good if you give them to yourself. I lived on a finca (farm). My undercarriage was almost perpetually sore from horseback riding. They don't have any taxis in town but you can call a guy who will bring horses to your house and you can ride those. I think the secret to fake sleeping is the open mouth, because no one suspects you of faking when you look that ridiculous. I regularly got my ass handed to me by my 87 year old neighbor in dominoes. I rode a bull, milked a cow and drank it (not terrible), pulled the head, neck, and feet of a chicken out of his dead ass, cauterized a bleeding chicken wing with a hot knife, cut the wing feathers off of a chicken to prevent it from flying out of the coup. I understand that mouthwash is good for my teeth but has anyone ever investigated the negative effects it may have on my tongue? Hurts. I am only home for a few days, starting today actually. I'll have my cell phone -thanks Jeni- same number as always.* I'm not sure if it made the international news or not but a plane recenly slid off the runway at my local Santa Marta airport and rolled into the ocean. I think the pilot just couldn't wait to get to the beach. No one was hurt so please don't addthis to imminent kidnapping, drug related assasination and general lasciviousness as a reason to not visit me. Concerning other news I'm way out of the loop although I heard something akin to Revelations is going on in Europe. If anyone important like Conan O'Brien dies let me know please. As far as pasta shapes go I think rigatoni sucks it. Sometimes when you ask a nice couple who owns the restaurant you're eating at where their kids are they say "heaven." Just a warning. A useful Spanish word,
melhechor. Evildoer. It applies to everyone not from the U.S. I would have put more pictures on here, I have some pretty entertaining ones, but my USB broke and I'm using the airport internet waiting for my flight. I know this blog is a touch disappointing and I am ashamed of myself. Won't let it happen again. The Silver Surfer gets his powers from his board and you don't have the guts to at least make an attempt at showing Galactacus? Seriously? Jack Kirby must be rolling in his grave. Happy weddings to Kassey and Wu, Blair and Julia, and Garcia. I would have liked to have been at all of them.
Movie of the summer Guardians of Darkness, a Russian movie about people born with powers. It's great.
Books of the summer Ordianary People is excellent, The House on Mango Street is a good, short read about a little Mexican girl living in Chicago. Jitterbug Perfume is the best Robbins book I've read yet -thanks Lindsey.
Another seful Spanish phrase of the summer En tubos - Tight rolled. Exp: Me gustan tus pantalones en tubos. I like your tight rolled pants. En tubitos is also acceptable.
Music of the summer Everything is Illuminated Soundtrack
Calm'r 'n you are,
-T
But, the real excitement of course is going to come at the end of the summer, during Sexual Awareness week. We import two hundred hookers from around the world, and each camper, armed with only a thermos of coffee and two thousand dollars cash, tries to visit as many countries as he can. The winner of course is named King of Sexual Awareness week and is allowed to rape and pillage the neighboring towns until camp ends. -Bill Murray in Meatballs
I was thinking how the world should have cried, on the day Jack Kirby died. - Monster Magnet, which is band.
If you really think about it, everything is wonderful in this world, everything except for our thoughts and deeds when we forget about the loftier goals of existence, about our human dignity. - Anton Chekhov, Lady with Lapdog
*I know that everyone is impressed that I keep a cellphone in the US even thought I haven't lived there in 2 years. It makes the student loan people happy, gives them a sense of satisfaction to leave me dirty messages I don't hear.
Advertisement
Tot: 0.081s; Tpl: 0.01s; cc: 10; qc: 30; dbt: 0.0389s; 1; m:domysql w:travelblog (10.17.0.13); sld: 1;
; mem: 1.1mb