Santos - even the short way round is long enough!!

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Despite our only previous experience of Brazil was a 4 hour stopover in Sao Paolo airport on the way to Santiago, Chile, it feels like I already exhausted all the innuendos about Brazilians. Although our visit was a quick 'in and out', puns such as when the plane, as it was coming in to land had a near miss; and me referring to it as a ‘close shave' or ‘Don't forget to grab yer nuts!!' I will try not to strive for such predictable laughs during this trip!! (but I can't promise anything!!)

Our latest ‘voyage of discovery' (OK not a real voyage of discovery. Vasco da Gama and Magellan went on voyage of discoveries, quite literally. If it wasn't for them we wouldn't be making this trip and you wouldn't be reading this) Anyhow, I digress. Our journey starts with an 11 ½ hour flight back to Sao Paulo in Brazil, one of the most densely populated cities in the world. It makes London look like Camberwick Green by comparison!

From the airport we will make the 2 hour journey to the coastal resort of Santos by public transport. We have done our research and the bus costs about £6 for a single journey. We could organise a private transfer for about £140 but that would be no fun. One fellow we read about was quite happy to pay that amount and the reason he gave…he couldn't speak Spanish!!! Well it may come as a surprise to him but neither can most the population of Brazil!! Portuguese is the official language. Despite being neighbours with Spain stuck out on the Iberian Peninsula, both languages have about as much similarity as Mandarin Chinese does to Serbo Croat!!! We will stay in Santos for a few days to recover before boarding the newish MSC Preziosa where we sail up the Brazilian Coast calling in at the ports of Rio de Janeiro, Salvador and Fortaleza. We then head out to sea, crossing the Atlantic Ocean and the equator arriving in Tenerife some 4 days later. From there we call in at the neighbouring Canary isle of Lanzarote and the picturesque garden island that is Madeira. Another day at sea and its Casablanca. From then on its plan sailing (so to speak) as we sail through the Straits of Gibraltar and in to the Mediterranean where we will call at the Spanish resorts of Cadiz, Malaga, Palma in Mallorca and Valencia. Our final port of call is the Corsican capital and Napoleon Bonaparte's birthplace, Ajaccio. We finally disembark in Genoa. However, as there are no flights to the North of England from Genoa we will be travelling by train to Pisa where we will stay overnight before taking the late flight back to Manchester. Phew, I'm exhausted just writing this and I'm still sat on our couch in the house. I haven't even put my coat on yet!!

Our first leg of the journey was pretty uneventful. We drove the 30 miles to Manchester airport where we dropped off the car at the long stay car park before boarding flight BA1375 at 13:40 (gate closes at 13:30!) we were in seats 13A and 13b. Now not being the superstitious type, Roisin did point out the unusually large amount of number ‘13s' that appear on the boarding card. Well at least today is only THURSDAY 12!! After a 6 hour wait at the airport our connecting flight leaves at 21:25 due to arrive at its destination tomorrow morning, Friday………the 13^th (Oh Bugger!!)

Due to the long flight we decided to pay for the extra comfort so our seats were situated in the Premium Economy or as British Airways call it, World Traveller Plus section. I guessed that the money we saved on not plumping for the private transfer could be put to better use!! Our cabin was configured 2-4-2 and as there were only 9 people and seats for 30, Roisin had two seats to herself whereby I had a bank of four. I immediately spread out and checked out the in-flight entertainment.

So many films, so little time to watch them all!! My first choice was The Theory of Everything. This was worthy of Eddie Redmayne's Oscar for his portrayal of Stephen Hawking. However, although the movie kept me riveted in dealing with the onset of Motor Neuron's disease and overcoming all odds as this disability progressed, I felt a bit cheated as this film didn't deal with the theory of ‘everything' as stated in the title. It didn't deal with conspiracy theories such as the Moon Landings were shot in a Hollywood studio or JFK was shot by the CIA or even Elvis was abducted by Martians (that one even has a space theme – Stephen Hawking's speciality!!)

After a complimentary double brandy as an aperitif followed by a dinner of seared fillet of British beef with smoked potato fondant, broccoli, carrots and a Tellicherry black pepper sauce washed down with a few (mini) bottles of Cabernet Sauvignon I had time to watch the Expendables 3 before the eyes started to feel heavy. Time to recline the seat, briefly glancing over to Roisin who was already making use of the eye mask, and take a well-earned nap. I slept for about 4 hours before time for another film, the Equalizer starring Denzil Washington as Robert McCall, the man with a secretive past.

An hour and a half before landing a full English breakfast with Danish and yogurt set us up for the next leg of the journey once we had cleared immigration and customs. No visa is required to enter Brazil but all non-holders of a Brazilian passport must complete a landing card. We cleared all the formalities with the least amount of fuss.

Probably one of the most iconic and instantly recognisable emblems in the world, the Brazilian National Flag with its blue disc depicting a starry sky in a yellow diamond on a green background instantly conjures up images of mega carnivals flowing through the streets of Rio whilst its revellers gyrate down the wide avenues to the sound of the samba. Of world cup victories and cars, ecstatically beeping their horns at 2 o'clock in the morning after another resounding result against the old enemy (the semi-final in Bela Horizonte – Brazil 2014 an exception to that rule!!) A white curved band spans the blue disc and within reads the country's motto: ‘Ordem e Progresso' - ‘Order and progress'. Once in the baggage hall and beyond we didn't see any ‘ordem' and there was very little evidence of any ‘progresso' either!! We were scheduled to arrive in Guaralhos airport at 05:40, terminal 3. Plenty of time to get through immigration, collect our luggage, transfer to terminal 1, buy our tickets for Santos and board the 7am bus. It sounds simple. The 747 was on its stand with doors open at 6am. Still an hour to do all those things. Immigration only took 10 minutes. Things were looking good. Next collect luggage. Ah!…whilst the bags had already started to appear on the carousel by the time we entered the baggage hall, they were only appearing in threes with a five minute wait between each batch. Another twenty-five minutes wasted before our bags finally appeared down the shute. We followed the signs to terminal 1. We arrived in Terminal 2. Keep going. It can't be far now, I kept telling myself. Finally terminal 1. Our research told us that the Cometa ticket office was outside the terminal building. We found it without any further delay. 06:50. 3 people in front of us. The man in front murmured something in Portuguese to the assistant and then immediately left the queue. One down two to go. By the time we reached the front there were only a few minutes to spare. What the research didn't tell us was that ‘No English spoken here'.

My opening remark: ‘Do you speak Eng-er-lish?'

‘No, I am speaking Por-tu-guese!!'

I managed a ‘Dos para Santos' which seemed to do the trick although we had already resigned ourselves to catching the 8am bus and sure enough 8:00 was printed on our ticket. What followed next could have been anything from instructions in grouting the kitchen to verbal abuse!! The ticket seller pointed to the right so I guess she was telling us where to go!! (to catch the bus!!) We eventually found the correct platform from which the bus to Santos departed… and waited!

Only ½ hour late, the journey to Santos took 1 hour 40 minutes. Once initially out of the Sao Paulo Metropolitan area, the bus started to climb and took us up and over a mountain range completely covered by a green carpet of forest as far as the eye could see as we peered out across the valley below. The sky above had a thin layer of cloud, enough to obscure the sun but not enough to be called overcast. The cloud cover gave the mountain peaks in the distance a haze and together with the 72 degrees F provided but not oppressively so, humidity.

Taxis were waiting at Santos bus station to take us on our final leg of the journey. The 5km cost 22 Brazilian Real (BR) (£5.50.) We weaved in and out of traffic to the happy, if not dated tune of Daddy Cool by Boney M as the beach and sea came in to view. The driver pulled up at the Mercure Hotel. We had arrived! 31 hours since leaving the house yesterday, as the GPS in my head reminded me, ‘we had reached our destination!!'

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Comments

[Truce Grovellar]

Fascinating stuff! Not wishing to be too much of a pedant but I know my 70's pop music and the Boney M track you are referring to is Daddy Cool not 'Danny'!In fact there are only about ten words in the whole song:-"she's crazy like a fool,
what about it, Daddy Cool' so getting 10% of them wrong, while not a crime, is dissappointing. I'm hoping I will enjoy the rest of your blog- assuming you don't drop too many other clangers. Regards T Ps I've read this post twice now and I'm sure you are trying to make some sort of joke near the beginning , something about South America and landing strips but I just don't get it. I even got Mrs Grovellar to take a look but she just shook her head.

[chris-roisin]

Sorry Truce. I'm even too subtle for myself sometimes. It was Daddy when I posted it. The text was even proof read by Mrs H so unless you have hacked in to my account...!!!

[Truce Grovellar]

Apology accepted. To me Boney M epitomise everything was good about the seventies... How could you worry about 3 day weeks, gravedigger strikes, nonce TV presenters and hyper-inflation when you were bobbing to Rasputin. Keep up the good w
ork. T

[Lynne]

Brilliant start Chris, can't wait for the next postings. Bus journey sounds amazing, did you manage to get any photos?

[chris-roisin]

No photos of bus journey Lynne. The mountain pass was one way - 2 lanes and our bus kept to the outside lane in a steady flow. The inside (slow) lane was packed with back to back lorries so it was difficult to get a clear shot!!