Tour of Booty: Le Sigh

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Apparently I snored last night. Everyone is carrying on laughing about it at the Ryan’s, and it even woke up Nicole! Crap I thought, I would never snore! That’s it, I’ve gotta look for my own place to stay tonight where I can snore all I want. Just imagine if Robbie was down here!!!!

The first place I enquired about accommodation referred me to the place that I would stay at for the rest of the time in Kerang. I’m walking past the Commercial Hotel in the Town Centre (!) and there’s a sign on the footpath, “Jack’s Back”, for some kind of cabaret show. And guess who else is in town? And it wasn’t a Ford Festiva as quoted in the LUYD diaries, but a Toyota Seca-but I didn’t think I could see her today anyway. Anyway, the Commercial is proudly patronized by Andrea Brown & Co, but I learnt yesterday afternoon that I wouldn’t be seeing her on this trip either! So much for our much awaited drinking session! Oh well, the rooms here are cheap as chips $25-and I got what I paid for. Cheap as chips, cheap and nasty…

I spent the rest of the day walking around Kerang and getting re-acquainted with the place. There, opposite Target was “my beloved hedge”, but I promised myself no more drunken hedge shenanigans this time around. Bec also worked at Target, right opposite the Commercial. Couth!

The rest of the afternoon was spent at the Ryan’s and talking to Jason’s parents and Nicole (when she came home for lunch, also Jason when he came home for lunch. What is up with that! I suppose its because home is very close to where they have to be during the day). Nicole asks if her school skirt is too short, an observation made by Mr Gary Gervase! It’s laughed off and I’m still chuffed about Mr Gary Ryan giving me a Geelong Cats banner-score! If there’s any guy you want to talk to for a laugh, it’s Jason’s dad…

“What? Humphrey B. Bear is still on at 9am? I thought they pensioned off the cunt already!”

Jason’s parents made me buy a scratchie and when I lost on that, I figured there wasn’t too much luck on Mr Tattersalls (shove these lotto tickets up your Tatty arse). Tea was one of the damn best dinners I had on the whole tour (chips with pumpkins, potatoes and vegies) and I let off this really earth-rumbling burp that Paula would have been proud of! I only spoke to her last night and I needed to speak to her again, not to hear her deep burps (she gave one over the phone!), but to ask for some moolah. You see, I somehow forgot to budget for accommodation and travel here (and I did get very smashed on Saturday night…)

When I spoke to Antonia, she laughed and said, “you always run out of money when you go to Kerang!” She could see the funny side of things.

“…obviously Vodafone hadn't made proceedings in installing some base towers, damned, I was out of reception. Everyone was out of reception, in that small country town, 25 kilometres south of the NSW border .”
LUYD tour diary, Sat Feb 9, 2002.

I’m in a room for three nights without Vodafone reception or an Internet Connection. And $2, which I put into the phone and call Antonia. No Moolah now. Oh well, at least I have my own room…*sighs*…

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