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Published: September 17th 2007
What an amazing final couple of weeks I've had in Innisfail. I have now served my time on the banana farm, 5 weeks of gruelling hard work, made survivable by some of the best friends I have made. To my amazement I'll miss Innisfail, it was an unforgettable experience. Now, lets cast back over the past couple of weeks...
The friday night after my last blog was one not to be forgotten. Ever. As usual the goon flowed freely, and before long we were all having a great time playing drinking games and laughing till we cried. It was made all the better for me since my relationship with Magda had been upgraded to 'a couple'. Which meant I got a kiss whenever I wanted.
About 8ish the evening was at a peak, and the monumental switch to a pool party was made. Out of nowhere lads were suddenly wearing their boardies and girls their bikinis! The pool was packed and carnage ensued. We played some great (and in hindsight, pretty dangerous) games, the best one involving sitting on each others shoulders. It was usually a girl sat on a guy, then you had to knock other people off
Cooking for the girls
Me and Lee prepared an amazing curry for the swedes, though we were a bit pissed during prep and lost about half the rice down the sink. And the naan breads turned out like poppadoms. But its the the thought that counts.others shoulders! The combination of having your head squeezed between a drunken, half naked females thighs, along with the constant flow of booze proved a popular one, and the 'swimming' went on well into the night. After that it descended into a bit of drunken snogging, before crawling off to bed with my roommate.
The next day found the pool with only 6 inches of water left in it.
Road Trip! The weekend following was full of glorious sunshine for a change! With the hostel feeling surprisingly active, we rounded up a bus full and headed off to the nearest beach for the day. Frankly, there isn't much to say about it! Everyone was feeling slightly worse for wear after the night before, and generally floated about in the sea getting burnt. We had a kick about with the footie, where upon Lisa received two balls to the face and decided it wasn't for her. For some reason the guys found a large amount of fun in throwing sand off the sea bed at each other, and damn does it hurt! I'm pretty sure it was the Canadian who started it. He ended up getting the worst of
Crazy Stupid Fools
Never, ever again. Ever. it anyway when the world ganged up on him and left a few bruises on his back!
Once we were all skin cancered up enough, and I had watched with envy as a skydiver landed on the beach, we decided to head back. That night, we detoxed.
Sunday was even better! Once again we rounded up a bus full of people and cruised on over to the 'Golden Hole'. I don't know why, but it sounds like a really rude name. Anyway, it was a nice little spot shaded by trees and some gentle rapids running into it. These things are never as pleasant as they seem though, it this was no different. A chap called Marcus had been here before, and showed us where the fun and games were to be had. A rope swing across the water was fun for about 5 seconds, but then he showed us the main attraction. A huge tree reached far out into the middle of the water, about 30ft in the air at a guess. So, the obvious thing to do was to climb up it and jump off! And he did, and it looked amazing! A few other guys
Tony strikes a pose
These swedes are all crazy mo fos. A good trait in the girls, slightly unnerving in the boys. followed him up, tentatively, and did the same thing. Well, this looked just my cup tea and I crossed the stream to have a crack. I got about 5ft along the tree before I started filling my pants. I never really knew I had a fear of heights until that day. I almost froze and ebbed back the way I came feeling a right pillac. All the grils were stood over the stream watching with the same curiousity as when you watch a car crash.
All but two of the other guys had done it now, and I couldn't hack failing, especially with an audience. I emptied my bladder, and told myself I was going to do it. I got back on the tree and started again. The truck of this tree is about a foot wide with very few footholds and a deceptive drop below into either shallow water or rocks, until you reach the end. Well, it started pretty good. I passed my previous point by not looking down and just taking it one step at a time. Then I reached that horrible point where you can't go back cos the descent is even worse, and to
top that, a guy in front of me seemed as scared as I was first time, and had stopped. Despite talking him through it, I found myself looking down and the fear setting back in. This is so much worse than skydiving. Finally, he realised he couldn't go back and handled the next, and most hair raising section, better than me. Just as I started, a stupid little girl and come up behind me and wanted to go. Well, I wasnt going to be rushed by a snotty little child, so after some cursing under my breath, and to my total humiliation, I had to let her past. I think the people watching could sense my raw fear, so didn't jear or anything, and even shouted 'Come on Chris, you can do it'. Now they are true mates. I eventually got to the point where it was all or nothing, and ran the last few metres before throwing myself off with an immense sense of relief. I swam to shore where I got pats on the back and handshakes from people I'd never really known, but became good friends. Nevertheless, I still felt a total tit being overtaken by a
Leaving Day
Bon Voyage swedish girls, Jorg elscade. girl, and it did come back to haunt me later that night when the banter started up.
After that ordeal we headed over to 'Josephine Falls' where you could ride down a waterfall. It was a tame waterfall, obviously, and all the girls joined in too. That kept the guys happy for all of 10 seconds (I'm not one to criticise all the bravado crap that guys come out with, I fully take part and support it, then wonder why afterwards), before a more dangerous past time was found. Now, what we did was totally stupid, and I know my mum is actually gonna kill me for this. Again, Marcus led us up to a pool beyond the one full of normal people, to one that was home to a huge, torrential waterfall. Doubt about the ingenuity behind this idea kicked in when we passed the sign saying 'No Entry. Death has occured beyond this point'. We rounded a corner to see the massive waterfall, and a fairly large pool surrounding it. Well, it wasn't long before the more sensible of us thought 'No frikkin way mate'. In fact, all of us said it. Except Marcus who said it
Is, is that a... muscle?!
5 weeks of humping 'nanas and it has paid off, my body is a temple. Now, I think a renovation is in order.. to a kebab house. was fine. And in he jumped. We watched as he swam about like there was nothing to it, and to be fair it seemed fine. The death thing was clear as big waterfalls entered and left the pool, but there was a fairly sizable still patch. With that a couple of others jumped in. It was at this point that some retarded 'be a man' part of my brain kicked in, and it reached the point that if an excuse rose to jump in, I'd take it. After a couple of others got in too, a wasp started harassing me, and that crap excuse was the one I took to join them. I got in, and instantly thought this was a bad plan. The waves were bigger than expected, and the water rough. I swam to a branch dipping in the water and rested for a bit. It was only at this point that the truely pant filling realisation kicked in. There was no way back out. The only point that the walls dipped down to the pool was where the water left the pool via a bloody huge waterfall. I decided I'd move along the wall and just hop
Happy Birthday to ME!!!
Cake and girls. Does life get any better? out when I got to where I had to. No worries. I started over, but the flow meant I was pushed away from the waterfall and my exit point. Ok, new approach. I swam directly to the exit point but despite my absolute maximum effort the current was far too strong and I couldnt even touch the side before getting driven back into the pool. No matter how hard I had swam, I was pushed back. I've never experienced power in the water like it before. Panic set in. I grabbed the branch and rested, and I could see the others realising how screwed we were too. Thankfully a few had stayed at the side, and started coming up with a plan to save our asses. A quick root around the local vegitation found us a large branch, that they leaned over to a point that we could reach. A few of them got in position so that when we reached and caught it, they could support each other so they didnt fall in, and then pull us out. Thank God the plan worked. I swam with every ounce of effort and clutched the branch and didnt let go until
The evening takes an unexpected twist
Yes, that is me in a 7 year olds dress and a pair of Y-fronts, hangin out with the lads. As you do. I touched solid ground. I think we all learnt a valuable lesson that day; pay attention to all signs except speed limit ones. Especially if the word 'death' is mentioned. We didnt talk to Marcus for the rest of the day.
As if that wasn't enough for one weekend, we even went to the Crocodile Farm afterwards!! Despite having the most blatant danger, it turned out to be the safest place we'd been all day. We watched the feeding of the crocs happily, and even watched as the owner sat on a crocs back. I felt more sorry for the croc since he weighed about 140kg. Afterwards we fed some kangaroos, and a wallaby. It was a relaxing finish to a unexpectedly stressful but fun day. Oh, and a couple of guys got bitten by the pet snakes for a free can of pop. I decided I'd filled my stupidity quota for one day.
Week 4 Work was same old, same old. Quite enjoyed going to work by this point to be honest. The humping was ok since my muscles had developed and gotten used to it, and I was having a laugh with my boss and Bill.
Rumours
Packed in like sardines we were, sardines One german came on the monday, couldnt hack it and had quit by tuesday. Then another german dude came and he did pretty well and was good for a laugh too. I was beginning to feel like an old hand after just three weeks!
By the end of the week we were finishing chopping down the trees.
Me and Magda had had new roomates for the week, Mike and Ross, who, although a pain in the ass for obvious reasons, were a good laugh and together we learnt almost the entire 'Biggest Loser' theme tune. The 'fat people show', as it was more commonly known, became the highlight of the working day as we rooted for our Blue team members to shed more pounds!
The weekend held a sombre note. The swedish girls were all leaving, and they would be sorely missed, especially by me and Anthony who were dating Magda and Lisa. They were always a good laugh and we'd spent a lot of our time together. On the saturday we saw them off at the bus stop before going back to a quiet hostel. That night we had a few drinks, well we got hammered,
Me and the work crew
Despite what they put me through, I learnt a lot from these guys and I wouldn't change those 5 weeks for the world but everyone went to bed a bit earlier than usual.
On the Sunday, my new roomates left as well, and I had the room to myself. I had loved having the privacy when I first arrived, but now it just sucked. It felt like everyone was leaving! That afternoon we perked up a bit when me, Anthony, and Schorre moped about in the pool making plans for replacement girls. Oh, and I rang the 'rents and told them that I was actually having an amazing time despite sounding like I'd reached hell in my previous blog.
Final Week! I couldn't believe it was my final week already! Work on the monday kept me from thinking about the swedish girls for a change, and since it was my birthday on the tuesday, I had something to look forward to!
23 ripe years of age, I never expected to find myself in the quite little town of Innisfail in Australia on my birthday! It felt kind of surreal, but it was soon snapped out of me when we had the hottest day at work yet. No exaggeration, I was humping bananas in around 40C, with phenomenal humidity in the
Simon and Me
Look Simon, a camera! Quick, put some more make up on, you can still see some skin! densely vegitated paddocks. We sweated buckets. On top of that it was an all day-er, and I was more shattered than I'd been in a long time.
But that night made it all worthwhile. After work I went for a few beers with Schorre, Anthony and Tony, before heading off to get our amazing $5 Eagleboys pizzas. Sat in front of the Simpsons, with all my mates, in Australia, and a beaut of a pizza after a hard days work, it was one of the best birthdays ever. To round it off, Viive, Selina and Anneka and put together a phenomenal cake for me. A muffin from Coles with 23 candles squashed on to it, I have honestly never been happier with a birthday cake in my entire life. These small touches meant the world to me, so thanks girls!
I saw the week out, with an easy last few days poisoning all the stumps from the trees we'd chopped down earlier. Me and irish chap called Colm had a laugh, mainly at the expense of Americans. He told me about how they genuinely went to Ireland expecting to see tiny wee Leprachauns. How do these people get
through life? One even complemented him on his English. Idiots.
Birthday Party! On friday came the piece de resistance. It was a joint birthday party for me, Ben and Simon, but mainly Ben cos he was turning 30. It was the best night yet, and thats saying something. I think the pictures speak a thousand words. It all started with Tony getting dressed up in a lycra Superman suit he randomly had, before me and Tony thought 'what a good idea', and took it a step further. Off we trotted to the Warehouse merry on goon, and left 5 minutes later wearing 7 year old girls dresses. And a pair of white Y-fronts cos they didnt cover the essential regions. I was amazed we got back without being beaten up, and to a round of applause upon return.
Well, that started a trend, and before long all the guys were in drag and plastered in make-up. It was an amazing night, and we got absolutely hammered! We lost the girls clothes swimming in the pool, and went on a long mission to get food. I would love to tell you more about it, but I dont remember anything
Me and the Innisfail gang
Happy happy days!
You have to taken a second to realise this; a group of people from all over the world, coming together in a remote town in Australia to work and have the absolute time of their lives together, and make some amazing friends. Life is good!!! else. Apparantly I was found asleep on the toilet, a sight to behold I've no doubt.
St Paddys Day I swore I would never drink again. I had a killer hangover, and consumed an obscene amount of water. The day cruised by, watching people crawling out of their rooms one at a time. Some of the girls hadn't been quite so wasted, and were determined to have a St Paddys party. I was adament I wasnt drinking, but would wear green if they could find any.
Since it was my last night, I decided I should really have a beer. Which became two. Became six. Became a $5 bottle of something like bucks fix. Before I knew it I was topless, covered in writing, and a wearing a green hat which magically became a tiara. I even ended up in Rumours, I place I was never gonna go again. It was a righteous finish to an amazing and emotional 5 weeks of hard work and well earned play.
On the Sunday I headed north to Cairns to begin the proper travelling, but I will never ever forget the small town of Innisfail. Cheers guys an amazin time.
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MUM
non-member comment
Be frightened!!
Hi Chris, I thought I had raised a mature intelligent man, I was wrong. I now realise I have raised a complete idiot (you must take after your father in that respect!) Luckily you got the good looks from me so you have got still something going for you. I am now going into stern mother speak......if you do anything as daft as jumping down waterfalls where people have died again I will: a. Take you out of my will and you will get nothing! b. Even worse ....I will be on the next plane over to sort you out. So be frightened, be very very frightened as I will also bring your other mother, your very bossy but loving sister Emma with me!!!!! Your ever loving mumxxx