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Published: December 19th 2019
Cracked some amazing goals on our first day in NYC...some obvious and traditional, some not so much. The day started more or less as planned - a bit of grappling with the subway and tickets, Beeb whinging about the cold and a trip to the American Museum of Natural History. Checked off the obvious items like T-Rex and Blue Whale and caught a 3D movie about the ocean. Spent the requisite amount of negotiation time in the gift shop before heading for our first (!!!) hamburger and chips meal.
Despite the clouds and breeziness, and against our better judgement, we dragged a semi-frozen whinging child to Central Park. Some feedback was provided, she was cold, she was miserable, didn’t I mention it was cold, and her face was cold...oh, and what was that, a squirrel. Wait, another one?! And another?! Oh, and were they accompanied by a sudden increase of 20ish degrees in temperature?! No, but they had the same effect...except for the poor hapless parents who were then required to stand and wait in the frigid conditions for the endless acorn collection and distribution process. Because these squirrels clearly couldn’t be trusted to find the acorns right underneath them...no,
we had to collect them all up, shove them in our pockets, collect more, find squirrels, distribute bounty...and repeat. Sadly, we could very rarely manage this where there was but a beam of sunlight. Nay, instead, I believe acorns only inhabit the coldest, windiest and sun-deprived areas of Central Park. Maybe that’s why the bloody squirrels can’t be depended on to bloody find them themselves!!
After much coaxing, and some other wildlife spotting, we managed to coax them into the warmth of a nearby shop...only to emerge with three little blue boxes wrapped in white ribbon...
...whatever, it’s snowing. It’s snowing it’s snowing it’s snowing. So, now we must dance with gay abandon all over 5th Avenue. What’s that, you say, you’re dancing with your beautiful blue boxes?! Oh no, I’m standing, frozen in one spot, with aforementioned glorious most wondrous snow smashing into my face horizontally whilst trying to prevent mad children joining the New York traffic whilst in their mad raptures at the now gale-force horizontal frozen precipitation. Cold, who’s cold?!
A retreat back to Central Park meant that the wind had calmed a little, the snow settled, the parents defrosted slightly...and the children, well,
the children lay in the snow, made snow angels, ate the snow off seats and rubbish bins (cause you don’t eat yellow snow but bin snow is totally fine) and generally had the time of their lives!
Finally forced them to leave for an appointment with Santa at Macy’s. Long long line but eventually made it through the Christmas ‘village’ to an unusually wide selection of white-bearded men, all housed in their own private little enclave...very clever!
Two exhausted children walking back...maximum whinging potential...no squirrels...thanks be to Santa for some more snow to distract us from the torture that is our lives!! Day 1 done...how will Day 2 ever measure up?!
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