Day 5

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DAY 5 - Tuesday 25 November 2008
Hit the road at a fairly reasonable hour - although I’m sure I looked a bit out of lace dragging my suitcase down Hollywood Boulevard - luckily this is Hollywood baby and pretty much anything goes. Well, nobody signed me up for a 3 movie deal - I’ll have to call my agent and demand an explanation.
Managed to work out how to get the shuttle bus to LAX - actually it turned out to be quite easy. Apparently the fact the train line doesn’t connect to the airport is a bit a an embarrassment for Los Angelains (ok - even the people in LA had different ideas about what you should be calling themselves so I’m running with that). LAX was a bit of a nightmare - semi organised chaos to put it lightly. Did get a bit confused with signs suggesting that I needed to pay some money for non-carry on baggage but nobody wanted to take any and they still accepted my bag… Flight to Vegas was short and sweet - about 45 mins and it flew reasonably close to the ground so I had an interesting view of the desert landscape. Coming in to land you could see the famed strip which appears quite close to the airport. Something learned later - nothing is a close as it appears to be in Vegas but more on that later.
Arriving at Vegas airport is everything they suggest it is - poker machines at every turn and what’s more - lots of people playing them. In the arrival hall there wasa huge advertisment for Bette - which made me smile knowing I already had my ticket. Took a shuttle service from the Airport - tried to find the express check in for my hotel, Caesars Place, which is apparently in the airport according to my guide book but no luck. Didn’t really care cos I’m on holiday. The shuttle trip took about 30 mins to get to my hotel after taking a few back streets for drop offs at other hotels. Went past the Hard Rock hotel which was kind of helpful as it was a location off strip for a club I wanted to visit and felt reasonably close to my hotel (big mistake - which I found out later when I decided to walk there tomorrow).
The Strip is something you just have to see for yourself - I’m not sure I can find the words to explain how dwarfed you actually feel. Things in a Vegas mirror are never as close as they appear. Checked in to my hotel room and made the executive decision that I should go the various box offices and pick up my tickets - I was in the hotel of one and the Bellagio was next door. Caught the 4 o’clock show of the Bellagio fountains which as it turns out was a rousing rendition of Viva Las Vegas - Elvis Presley - oddly fitting for the location. Never thought I could get quite so excited about water being blasted out of cannons into the sky but I must have got a little caught up in the moment. Continuing my marathon stroll down the strip, it began to get dark and the bright lights of every hotel and casino continued the ‘daylight’ which you imagine the strip should be. I should note that at this time I had been offered so many ‘girls’ who allegedly would be delivered to my door in 20 minutes. In Nevada, prostitution has been legalised, so the chain gangs of people flicking business card girly propaganda your way, wearing t-shirts advertising the 20 minutes service must be a legitimate offering. I really wanted to ask if it was like a pizza - 20 minutes or its free? -but something stopped me from doing so.
On my way back to the hotel I came upon the Half Tix place which offers cheap tickets for the shows about Vegas. Having nothing in particular to do that night, I decides to catch Rita Rudner, a comedian, who has been headlining at Harrahs Casino I think for the last 4 years. My other option was Penn and Teller at the Rio, but it was 6pm and their show was at a casino off the strip so I couldn’t quite make it for the 7.30pm start. Harrahs was across the road from Caesars at a slightly more doable time of 8.30pm. Plus I scored a VIP ticket which included a photo opportunity with Rita before the show and guaranteed a seat in the first 10 rows.
Showered and refreshed I went across the road for the show and had a few drinks before it started and to people watch in the Casino. The show was great - the photo opportunity being shuffled down a small corridor to meet Rita and have my photo taken by one of their photographers (no personal cameras allowed - I should have guessed) with the photo available after the show was not the most exciting thing I’ve ever done. Her comedy routine was mainly about living in Vegas, plastic surgery, and mostly how she manipulated her husband to get her own way. After the show I headed up the strip to catch the Treasure Island free show. What a load of crap - popular crap, but still crap. Let me set the scene - a ‘pimp’ like pirate is captured by the ‘Ho’s and Bitches’ of the Seven Seas. Then some homeboy type pirates sail out looking for him and they basically have a musical slanging match with songs and pole dancing - climatically completing with a couple of cannons being shot and some people falling of the boats. And its advertised as a family show. 15 minutes of my life I’ll never get back. Now really tired, I decided to head back and sleep in my freezing cold suite.

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