Finding Fern Grotto

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About midnight the outside temperature had come down enough for us to feel comfortable with fans going and open windows providing ample air flow. Sharon had checked again with the resort’s list of amenities, and A/C was not among them. She’d talked to the window-seat person next to us on our flight from Lihue about things to do/see in Kauai (where she lives). The Lighthouse had come up as a place to visit, where her parents had enjoyed seeing some rare birds just a few weeks earlier. And of course “The Grand Canyon of Hawaii”. We’d seen the turn-off to the lighthouse on our way to the timeshare; so, being close to us it was definitely on our list of places to visit. Also on our “To-Do” list was to see the Fern Grotto.

We took our time getting up; although, the resort was already coming to life by 7 AM. The gardeners were at work outside our unit and we could hear the sounds of people on the way to the pools. I made myself some oatmeal, after forgoing this ritual on Maui. First, we stopped by the concierge to try and get a Sunset Dinner Cruise reservation for Saturday. He tried Captain Andy, the one we’d gotten a brochure for, then several others that offered similar excursions; but, none had any availability until next week. There was a 7-hour catamaran cruise that included one-hour of snorkeling off the Forbidden Island (only natives are allowed to set foot on Niihau). Sharon was waiting in the car, so I checked with her, and she wasn’t up for this. Finally the concierge came up with a 3-hour whale watching catamaran tour, and I figured this was more along what Sharon would like, and she agreed. We made that option; but, the only availability was to take this tour on Friday (my birthday). Our schedule was flexible so I went with that option. And then he got me. This tour is normally $89 per person; but, because you are an owner… You are an owner?” he confirmed. “Because you are an owner I can give this to you for $50 for two people.” The catch of course, we must attend the breakfast/update meeting. I offered just to pay the full fare, but seemed to get no where with that idea, so Sharon and I will be attending that meeting on Saturday. He’s not supposed to pre-authorize the tickets and follow that with the “breakfast/update”; but, he did. He even had a checklist of things he wanted me to indicate what we most would like to hear about. I checked “RCI” because the timeshare my uncle left us is put into RCI for credit each year; and I chose the “PIC” option; because Wyndham allows us to get Wyndham credit for this timeshare each year through the PIC program. Sharon’s not going to be happy about saving this $128!

We headed out a bit before 10 AM. Sharon already misses her balcony view of the Pacific from which she could sate her whale-watching bug. Our first stop was the lighthouse. We parked near a promontory where many others had parked; and, planned to walk on down to the lighthouse. We discovered however that we were supposed to drive down the narrow drive to this National Park site. The sign in fact strongly discouraged walking “NO WALKING – CARS ONLY BEYOND THIS POINT”. We walked over to the lookout point and took several pictures of the spectacular coast. Many red footed boobies were nesting on the cliffs across from us, and in-flight in this cove. We got in the car and headed down. And what do we see… a father and daughter up ahead walking down the forbidden to pedestrian road, followed by a mother and son who paused briefly at the sign, and figure that this couldn’t mean them. It wasn’t like they were walking down the edge of the road either, why do that when there is the center of the road to walk on. We got to the bottom, and were directed to a spot right up front. We got our camera stuff ready and got out just as the park ranger parking lot attended spotted the pedestrians. She shouted at them “Go Back!” Then she continued even louder because her first tirade hadn’t caused them to break stride, “You CANNOT Walk Down Her!” “Of course we CAN, we just did!” “Well, now you need to walk back up the hill, and DRIVE down if you want to see the lighthouse!”

The parking was free, but it cost the two of us (Seniors) $10 to continue on to see the lighthouse. It was located atop a finger-like protrusion into the sea with two coves on either side. Many types of birds could be spotted about us. Looking back to the shore-side from the lighthouse, to the right a guide pointed out a green field where he said albatross were nesting. The young will take flight from that green field with a few awkward flaps of the wings; but, once they do take flight they will not set foot on land again for three years! We took some pictures of the lighthouse, and of the surrounding coast. I tried to capture a picture of an albatross or two as the swooped by; but, I was unable to frame the picture and only saw an out of focus blur of the bird in the view finder a couple of times.

Sharon had reservations for the Fern Grotto Boat tour at 2 PM (we need to show up 15 minutes before that). The GPS seemed to be getting confused as we neared the end. We made a couple of false turns, and then took a wrong detour down one road, only to see an impressive waterfall. We had seen a ticket office for the Fern Grotto back on the highway, and got directions. We needed to go across the bridge and then take a sharp right turn down the driveway heading to the waterfront pier off the highway. We were early, so we had plenty of time. We decided to get lunch, and thought we might as well try the waterfront Marina Restaurant. We saw a sign for it which proclaimed “Since 1964”. However, closer inspection revealed that it has been closed for quite some time. We headed back to the highway, and thought that we’d find something there. We eventually wound up at a pizza place, and Sharon was “okay” with a plate of spaghetti and butter. It might have been better than “okay” if they hadn’t sprinkled Parmesan on top and if it hadn’t been drenched in garlic butter. I had a cup of Portuguese bean soup, which was a very tasty minestrone, and I ordered a ham, jalapeño and fresh basil pizza, with oil brushed on the crust… it was delicious pizza in the New York style. I have to wonder if this is related to the same pizza place I ate at just under 40 years ago, which was newly opened by two (or three) young couples from New York. These servers could be their grandchildren. This place was spaciously massive compared to the tiny restaurant we’d eaten in back then; but, the patio section of this restaurant looked like it could have been the former’s eating area. The aging murals on the walls there looked familiar, as did the decoration with license plates that surrounded the larger dining are that we enjoyed. The pizza was just as I remembered it back then, complete with the touch of brushing the crust with olive oil.

We went back to the marina and still had thirty minutes to kill with our Lumosity apps. Sharon tried to improve her “Train of Thought” score (She’s trying to get to 60 colored trains delivered to the matching color train station. She says the world record is 99!). I worked at “Trouble Brewing” and did manage to serve 64 orders correctly, setting a record for me on this phone. There were about 40 fellow Fern Grotto Visitors making the journey with us. The covered boat had three aisles with seating on either side of each aisle. After a brief safety briefing, a Hawaiian group began performing various pieces, from native music to Blue Hawaii. As we left, it began to rain and we were thankful for the covering atop our boat. About 2 and one-half miles later we docked and took a 5-minute hike down an asphalt path to the grotto viewing platform. The cavern is about thirty feet high and fifty feet wide, extending some twenty-five feet or so into the sheer cliff. Vines dangle from above down the sides of the cliff, partially obscuring the interior of the cavern in a green veil. Water was clinging to the ferns like so many stars in the night sky. Colorful tropical flowers framed the grotto. A now seldom used path is slowly being reclaimed by the growth up to the grotto. Over 10,000 people have been married in the Fern Grotto since 1962. Since 2006, people no longer are allowed into the cavern itself due to the danger of rock slips into the grotto, and today, any marriage ceremonies take place on the platform. The guide mentioned just before we got off the boat that Hawaiians never get married at the Fern Grotto because they have a better place. Then he said that was Las Vegas. The musicians also performed the Wedding Song before we got off the boat because of the rain. Though Sharon and I were the least married couple on the boat I think we kissed the longest. There were about six patio umbrellas available around the viewing platform. Sharon and I were among the last off the boat, and headed to the only patio umbrella with space available; but, as we approached two couples moved in and occupied the spots next to the boundary fence facing the fern grotto. They stood there and chatted to each other, and chatted some more. One lady saw me with the camera and said, “Oh, do you want to take a picture… Well you could crouch down where you are and get a shot (to avoid the overhanging umbrella from where I stood in the rear)”. Only when the guide said that it was time to return to the boat did either of these four leave their spots; so, yes, I did get some good pictures. The ironic thing is, they hogged the best picture taking spots and none of them had cameras, and none of them took more than a casual glance at the fern grotto. No, they were talking about Freddy back home, and how Janice is graduating from High School this June and how nice it was not to be dealing with the snow this week!

On the boat trip back the guide gave some interesting information about the Fern Grotto and about Kauai. The property was originally owned by Smith, our guide’s grandfather, acquired back in the early 1960’s and he’d set up a picnic ground out by the Fern Grotto. The picnic area had been washed away by a major hurricane, and Smith himself never visited the Fern Grotto again. His descendants now ran the boat business and handled scheduling for weddings and such. He listed some of the movies that had been filmed on Kauai, and TV shows (of course Fantasy Island). Blue Hawaii was filmed here; although, the hotel featured in that film closed for good after one powerful hurricane. The Doctor’s house in Donovan’s Reef could be seen atop the hill behind us as we travelled downstream from the grotto. It had originally been on the shore, but the owner moved it when that land became a valuable timeshare development.

Hurricanes in fact have had a major impact on Kauai, as we first discovered as our Fox Rental car driver shuttled us from the airport. Some years back one hurricane had ravaged the many chicken coops across the island and since then those chickens have morphed into quite the feral chicken population. He noted that, as we passed the local WalMart, that it was the only one in the country where you could pick out your Free-Range Chickens in the parking lot. And he was right, we saw over a dozen strutting between the cars: Big colorful roosters, pleasantly plump hens and many smaller chicks of various sizes.

Sharon wanted us to stop at the Whaler’s Outpost on the way back, a convenience store where she hoped to get some water and snacks. She spotted Ono Char Burgers upon leaving the store, and we both decided to get a burger and share some fries. The have a sign that lets you know that Ono is not fish, it means “Good” in Hawaiian! I ordered the BBQ burger with bacon and cheddar, and it was delicious. There burgers were about ¼ pound patties, served on fresh buns, wrapped in paper, and cut in half (just the way Sharon likes hers). If you don’t want yours cut in half, the sign says you must tell them when you order, not to cut it in half! There were really tasty burgers and very reasonable priced. The French fries were better than almost any you get in a fast food chain. Sharon noted that the phone was ringing off the hook from locals placing orders to pick-up. I guess this might be one reason we haven’t seen any McD’s around. I’m guessing they don’t get a lot of orders for their free-range grilled chicken sandwich.

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