Florida Pt 1

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After travelling down the East coast of the USA we felt some R&R was in order, so booked a week’s stay in the Regal Palms resort in Orlando. The resort itself was okay, the town house we stayed in was much too large for us, we were rattling around in it a bit but it had everything we needed. The resort had a nice pool and bar so lucky for us the weather was doing something unusual for the year - staying at about 92 degrees. The major downside was the lack of WiFi in the town house, essential to our travels, and so we had to do any online stuff sat by the pool or sipping 2-1 beers - we feel your sympathy!

We also spent some time looking at properties, cheap as chips, to coin a phrase. Prices are, in some cases, 50% down on 2 yrs ago. An investment opportunity, possibly! We also made a couple of trips to some malls, which seemed relatively quiet; the cash flow definitely wasn’t flowing as freely as a few years ago. A couple of hours looking at timeshare also landed a couple of tickets for SeaWorld, so we’re looking forward to that. For us, a trip to Orlando would not be the same without a visit to Ponderosa for an all you can eat breakfast. Matthew will remember this place, as on our family trip to Orlando many years ago we spent every morning here gorging ourselves before we hit the Disney parks, and this was a trip down memory lane - still yummy, although not quite so much gorging!

After a week we were both getting a little stir crazy so we dusted off our posh accents and Lisa’s tiara and headed off towards Palm Beach. We decided to drive down Florida’s Treasure Coast, named because of the numerous Spanish galleons that had sunk there. We passed through Hobe Sound and onto Jupiter Island where we stopped for a quick lunch on the beach. What a surprising place, somewhere we had never heard of before, but is obviously a retreat for the rich if the real estate along the thin strip of land is anything to go by.

Our stay in Palm Beach was actually in West Palm Beach, the slightly poorer relation to the well known haunt of the very, very, rich. We spent some quality time in City Place in West Palm Beach, doing what everyone should do in a place like this, sitting outside Starbucks people watching. Now a word of advice to anyone out there who is contemplating plastic surgery - come here and gaze upon the hideous mistakes people have made in the search for youth - it will end any desires you have to undergo the knife. We don’t want to be disingenuous but let’s face it, if you insist on looking like a freak you’ll be looked at. We thought we saw “someone” but unfortunately couldn’t tell who it was because he had had so much surgery done his face resembled shiny plastic. Loads of people have long ago given up being able to perform the most simple of facial expressions. We passed one chap who appeared to be really happy, but it wasn’t until you got closer that you could see that his skin was so stretched that he couldn’t not smile and another lady couldn’t close her mouth because she had been pulled so tight, which had left her with a strange grimace-like expression. It strikes me as sad and I can’t help wonder why their friends and family don’t tell them how awful they look, but I suppose if they are happy and they are not hurting anyone it doesn’t matter - also what else are they going to spend their oodles of money on. Anyway enough of that, but one of us is determined never to have surgery - the other of us (who could it be?) is still undecided.

We found a micro brewery called Brewzzi that also served great food, both of us satisfied then. As it was Saturday night we followed some advice and headed to a place called the Blue Martini, first the up side, the live band were really, really good and the atmosphere was great with everyone in a party mood. However, it was quite simply one of the most expensive bars we’ve ever set foot in (and that includes Norway) the drinks were an absolute rip-off, the barman actually looked peed off Chris didn’t tip him after a couple of beers. We can’t print the tip Chris would like to give him. Don’t even the wealthy realise when they are getting shafted. Probably not.

With no hangover the following day we decided to walk around the south of Palm Beach, which I am sure could easily be described in three words - money, money, money. Apparently the well to do started wintering in Palm Beach in the 1890s after Henry Flagler extended the railway south from St Augustine and built two luxury hotels there. To this day, between November and May, the mega-rich partake in elegant balls, a bit of polo, fundraising dinners and charity galas (an interesting factoid - local residents give more to tax-deductable causes in a year than most people earn in a lifetime - unfortunately no-one seemed to be willing to donate to the Chris and Lisa holiday fund). You get a taste of the sort of money being spent here before you even step onto the island, with the mega-million dollar yachts moored in the harbour. Although somewhat disappointingly they could not be classed as ‘super yachts’ they were big enough to get Chris salivating.

The island is pristine - it looks like a brand new shiny button - and lots of people are employed in keeping it that way. We walked towards the main residential section of Palm Beach, its town, and Worth Avenue where the designer stores, boutiques and art galleries relieve the locals of their money and enable us mere mortals to do a bit of window shopping, one gallery had an Andy Warhol original in the window, not exactly Camera Corner is it? It was a really pretty street enhanced by the assorted expensive cars parked by the roadside and punctuated by narrow passageways leading to lovely courtyards called ‘vias’ containing picturesque fountains and quirky art. We then walked to the actual beach itself and decided to do a bit of romantic walking along the seashore, holding hands that sort of thing - ah. The swell (sea) was impressive, and we (Lisa) admired numerous ‘surfy dudes’ doing their thing. We also decided to see a bit of the north of the island in the car and guess what - yes that’s right - more obvious wealth. The only unfortunate thing is that a lot of the lovely mansions were hidden behind high hedges and impressive gates, which meant it was difficult to gaze upon the opulence without crashing the car. The least they could do would be to share it with us mere mortals! All in all we liked Palm Beach very much and enjoyed gazing upon the holiday homes of the mega rich - albeit only for a day. Unfortunately we were never invited to a gala or ball and so Lisa’s tiara will go back into its box and continue to gather dust for a few more years!

Then on to Fort Lauderdale, passing again some very, very nice dinghies; a number being even larger than those in Palm Beach. One named “Octopussy” was particularly absolutely stunning and got us wondering if her owner was none other than Bond, James Bond! A little Google later showed she is one of a pair, her sister “Moonraker” is moored further south!! We instantly liked Fort Lauderdale, it had a very attractive beach and promenade along which were numerous pubs, cafes, restaurants and slightly tacky holiday shops - just like home (NOT!). Our first afternoon was spent having a walk along the promenade and sussing out the good pubs and places to eat. The beach was really pretty, with palms intermittently lining its edge, giving it an exotic and somewhat Mediterranean feel, aided somewhat by the lovely blue sky. This was followed by a trip to Sawgrass Mills, a mall which was apparently 2 miles long with 400 name-brand stores and outlets - a dream come true for all shopaholics.

The following day we decided to get on one of the water taxis for a trip to Downtown Fort Lauderdale. This was another one of those hop on hop off deals, with a ticket lasting all day - good value. It picked up near our accommodation and took us on a circuitous route of the waterways of the “Venice of America” which cruised by a number of multi-million dollar mansions where they parked the Ferrari on one side of the house and the Sunseeker on the other (more salivating from Chris). The canals and waterways are made up of individual little islands on which are deposited different sized retreats, having in common millions of dollars for a price tag, even the slightly shabby looking ones. What was surprising, however, was that, as our two very good and amusing taxi tour guides regaled us with the names of the rich and famous who owned properties there, it quickly became very apparent that the very famous such as Nick Nolte, Demi Moore, Burt Reynolds, Barbara Streisand (to name a few) had all moved on to pastures new. One can’t help wonder why - perhaps they require more privacy from the nosey plebs who gaze at them from water taxis! However, one very striking home ($100m) and super yacht ($60m) was owned by a lawyer who specialises in repossessions, now that’s someone who’s bucking the downturn. Our pilot had a great dit about Burt Reynolds, he brought all of his wives luxury houses in Fort Lauderdale, when they divorced him and retained ownership he was heard to comment “They must be the most expensive housekeepers in the world, married for a year and they keep the house!!”

As we wandered around Downtown Fort Lauderdale it was obvious how precarious the town is to the elements and how easy it would be for Mother Nature to reclaim back what was originally hers. Even though Fort Lauderdale has not suffered from a direct hit from a hurricane for a number of years, it is easy to see how easily it could be destroyed as the million dollar properties sit majestically on low level islands which could easily be flooded and wiped away. In low level areas the sea persistently creeps, claiming back small parcels of land. As you walk down the street you would normally expect side streets to lead on to lovely estates, well here there are canals instead of tarmac and luxury yachts moored outside the homes instead of luxury cars. It is very surreal as you turn a corner to be faced by a yacht looming up in front of you - we loved it.

We both really liked Fort Lauderdale, it is an easy place to wander around and even though vast amounts of wealth are obvious it blends easily with the tacky holiday shops and cheap seafront bars. Well half of it reminds us of home anyway - we leave you to guess which.

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Photos

Palm Beach
This bit's free.....

How Much
Wondering if the owners will take a cheque

City Place
A mini fountain display outside the Bellagio restaurant. Vegas does it so much better.

Worth Ave
Worth a Lot more like

Metal Kids
Cute or Wierd, can't decide. Sculptures by a Prince of Romania or someone like that.

Yachts
Why have a house if you own this?

Fort Lauderdale
Beautiful or Opulent. Eye of the beholder I guess.

Fort Lauderdale
Barbara Streisands old gaff - going for a song !!!!

Wot Recession
Specialise in foreclosures and 60m house, 100m boat are the rewards.

Street Scene
Fort Lauderdale Style

Alleyway
Who get the right of way?

Comments

[Ben Quick]

I'm just wondering about the boats, how do you do a three point turn in one of those bad boys?

[Chris and Lisa]

With a skipper
If you can afford one of these beautys, you can afford someone who knows how to drive it. Gorgeous aren't they.