Turning Toward Kindness

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Anyone who genuinely and constantly with both hands looks for something, will find it.
Though you are lame and bent over, keep moving toward the Friend.
With speech, with silence, with sniffling about, stay on the track.
Whenever some kindness comes to you, turn that way, toward the source of kindness.
-Rumi

Early Sunday morning. We had a long and deliciously slow day in Sarasota with our fren Erin yesterday. It has been a space of kindness, and one I am loathe to leave behind. But the road awaits, and North Carolina awaits, and our Air BnB awaits, and the grandson’s play awaits, and we have things to figure out, and next steps to take, and in order to not kill ourselves, we’ll leave at some point later today and once again hit the road.

Our last drive felt somewhat traumatizing to me. Had a bit of a meltdown, you might say, if I’m allowed to indulge in the official autist terminology, and I’m forced to surrender to the fact that Sally has to do more of the driving, even though it sometimes terrifies me to be so out of control. I’m having to just give that up, and give this to God™, and let go, and let ”Jesus Take the Wheel,” as the goodfolk say. Thankfully, like Rain Man, both Sally, and Jesus, are “very good drivers.”

Spent some time yesterday and early this morning catching up on my newsfeeds, focusing mostly on Brer Elon’s incredible reveal going on at Twitter these past few days. Mostly, though, I was unable to concentrate for long periods on the online world, preferring instead to just sit in the warm sunshine and look at the coconuts and talk to the tiny chameleons who stopped every now and again to look at me and do their little chameleon dance and puff out their little chameleon throats. A marvelous antidote to the road, even though they’re probably not technically chameleons. Like Elon is.

In this world, and in this situation, where it feels almost impossible to navigate by reason and logic alone, we work to rely more and more on alternative sources of knowledge and information and guidance. Intuition. Signs and Wonders. The Still Small Voices. The Roll of the Die. The Magic 8 Ball. The Flip of the Coin. We’ve been reading our way into a new book of Rumi poems. And our friends Jerry and Carol Anne gave us a book of daily inspiration and guidance based on Biblical sources that we’ve added to the mix. We continue our daily practice of check in, deliberation, and mystical conversation, what Rumi calls “sohbet,“ which spellcheck repeatedly assures me must be sorbet. So maybe we need to add a daily frozen juice to our routine. Of course, finding one along the road that is not infused with genetically modified high-fructose corn syrup might be a challenge.

I continue to ponder what “this” is all “for,” this stress, this challenging load of “unknown“ and “uncertainty.” Surely something is burning away. I can smell the smoke. But teasing apart ego and assumption and belief from true guidance and essential self, learning to discern the still, small voices in the din of culture and the pounding beat of tires on pavement, is a monumental task, as many many people are now finding out in ways more real, and with higher stakes, than they’d ever imagined. It’s the task for our times, to be sure, from what I can see. And I’m glad I’m not alone with it. But, wow, does it feel hard some days.

Here’s to all of us who are finding a way to survive, grow, evolve, mature, change, awaken, surrender, and thrive in these surreal times. Sally and I will hit the road this afternoon. There will be twists and turns aplenty from which to choose. Our intention is to turn always toward kindness. That piece of guidance, at least, has come in loud and clear.

We’ll check in again as things unfold.

Take care, wherever you are.
Pax-T

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