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Published: April 2nd 2017
The Magic Kingdom
Cinderella's CastleWhew! Made it.....well kind of. The story will be told....of course you know that. Sometimes you always save the best for last but we don't think the Magic Kingdom is the best park out of the four we recently visited. We are glad it was our last. Just our opinion. Maybe we have been here too many times so we are kind of bored with it. OR maybe it is the trillions of folks who crowd into it....most with babies and kids (it is a kids park, remember) all in oversized strollers. By the time we arrive (late morning), all these kids are tired and hungry and could care less about being in the unending, hour plus lines. They are all crying and screaming....some are in full blown temper tantrums. It's not a pretty picture. Most parents just give up and let them carry on. We are glad we don't have to deal with it except to witness and listen to it all day. There are no relaxing, adult serenity areas in this Magic Kingdom. Forget all that crap about " where your dreams come true, etc." --- it is close to a nightmare. No dreaming here. Just yelling and crying.
Crowds galore
Stroller Parking Lot + Attendant But maybe part of our problem this time was the hassle right at the beginning of our visit. And now the story begins.....I know you were there with us but just to allow you the wonderful opportunity to reflect upon it all. Here it goes...
Years ago, Cory always had our family up and going at the crack of dawn so we could be almost the first people in the park. That's not us anymore....not at all....we putter around and get there when we get there..usually mid to late morning. Of course, the Kingdom is probably the most attended of all the parks so you are parked out in God's Little Acre with the millions of other cars. That's okay. You take a tram to rush onto to get to the next loading area: either the Monorail or Ferryboat to get over to the MK.
We selected the boat this time --as did 700,000 other people. I know "our group" is big but oh boy, we were packed tightly within this monster maze of pushing, shoving adults with crying kids and mega strollers....all waiting to board the ferry boat just like us. The lines for the monorail
Lines & Crowds
Roller Coaster Ride were worse if that's possible. Eventually, we got pushed onto the boat only to stand squished again within this huge circle mass of obnoxious and delirious people.
Finally, we departed the boat and rushed along (pushed along) to the bag check area. However, first there are the enormous lines for ticket purchases. Because we already had our tickets, we could pass by these cashier windows. Whew. Thank you, God.
Everyone going to the park has a bag, including us. We just had a small one but that doesn't matter. Size does not count here. They check your bag and then you have to walk through the scanner machine just like at the airport.
Step back for a minute.....first off - the lines are ginormous. The gigantic knapsacks that most people carry are like the heavy gear soldiers carry on their backs into battle. On top of that, you have the truckster strollers the size of a Smart car. Some people are even dragging wheeled coolers. ALL this has to be checked over! See the picture? I can hear you saying "I'm glad I wasn't t there!". Be glad! The air temperature is already 85 degrees. People are
Circus Area
Fun for Kids beginning to smell.
We fall into more massive lines in order to now use your ticket to get in! "Just Keep Going, Just Keep Going" I hum to myself. My eyes are crossed. I'm exhausted already. Remember .....all this and we aren't even in the park yet!
At some point in time, our turn was next to have our ticket cards scanned so we could finally get into this Magic Kingdom (so far, we are not finding anything magical about it). Whaaaaaat? Our cards aren't working??!! In all prior 3 parks....we had NO problem. Here we are, already half dead from the entrance ordeal and now we are being told our tickets are no good...they have expired! You have to be kidding us! We don't thinnnk so! We just started using these tickets a couple weeks ago....what the H_ll? The ticket taker summons over the "supervisor". Yep! They won't work.....expired. Of course, Cory and I are becoming somewhat frustrated while we directly and explicitly tell them how they don't know what they are talking about and this is a big bunch of crap......putting it nicely. We show them our original purchase forms, etc. Eventually, they can't stand us
any longer and let us through. Na-NaNa-Na-Na.
They told us that if we wanted to use the Fast Pass system, we had to go to the Town Hall inside the park and they would update our cards so we could. Okay....sounds fine to us. Still sputtering about our unpleasant welcome to the Magic Kingdom "where all your dreams come true", Cory gets in another winding, unending line at the Town Hall. We hate lines! I sat on a bench for awhile but realized I should be with him cause both our tickets needed updating.
A pleasant young man, at the doorway, greeted us....hoping he could help us. We spieled out our story....nope, he couldn't help and guided us into another line. We hate lines. Soon, we were face to face with another fine, young man. He listened to our tale and agreed: our tickets were not good....they had expired! He tried to review with us the small words on the contract but we had had enough. Get Mickey over here NOW! It was getting ugly. The small wording said we had to use all four park tickets within 14 days of using this first one OR by May
27th? Today was day #15. Obviously, we hadn't read the fine print but as I said to the guy "What are we to do now?" Bring on the supervisor (of course, not Mickey yet). Again, he echoed the same lingo. Yawn! Now we just stood there--- staring. They finally got fed up with us also....Okay....we will get tickets for today...good for Fast Passes, too. "OPA", I said. The fellow who had "helped" us was from Greece.
We were outta there. From getting on the parking lot tram to walking on Main Street Disneyworld.....it took us almost 4 hours! Fun, huh? - Aren't you glad you came along?
We hustled to find a Fast Pass kiosk since they had worked so well for us at Hollywood Studios. Once into Tomorrowland, we found one. OMG....more lengthy lines. We got in one. We really hate lines. Once at the machine, we searched for the attractions we wanted to use them on. Whaaaaat? No attractions available until after 6:00 PM tonight! All the early ones were taken. Rats! So much for the Fast Pass deal. We weren't hanging around Mickey's house that long. Actually, we were ready to go now with all
the crap we had endured.
Add salt into our wounds.....had we known we couldn't do the Fast Pass, we never would have had to have gone (is that a double negative?) to the Town Hall and go through that high blood pressure, stroke and heart attack causing incident. We could have just been on our merry way up Main Street after suffering through the knowledge that our tickets had expired but they were letting us through anyway. Good Grief!
In Tomorrowland, we found our way onto the People Mover ride with no difficulty. Actually, it is a nice, long relaxing ride...about the only one. And then the journey began. We hiked for miles and miles through the various theme sections within the Magic Kingdom. We did manage to hitch a ride on the train that goes around the perimeter.....that's always nice. We found ourselves collapsed on a rock bench around a tree in Frontierland. Aaaaah. We watched while "crew members" (as the workers are called) start roping off the big walkway. They said the Disney parade would be coming through in an hour. Fine with us......we were seated in the shade. Fun to just people watch and not
be actually in the horrendous crowd.
After awhile, the crowds were stopping and lining up for the parade. People in front of us sat down on the ground so they weren't blocking our view from our perch. That was UNTIL two, mean teen-age girls with shorts on, that looked like thongs, stood in front of us. When asked to have them move over or get down: "NO!" they snarled!-- and with nasty looks that could kill. And there they stayed! What is wrong with these kids nowadays anyway? Our kids never would have been so rude and crude....never! Obviously they didn't want to get tar up their ying-yangs but they could have at least moved....nope! Mean Girls!
The parade finally began. We could see everything okay except for another woman in a green shirt that is now part of every photo I took. Oh, boy. As the parade went on, the crowd thickened and soon my view was blocked. Wanting to make sure I got good photos for all of you, I left our perch and shoved my way through the crowd to the front of the line.....next to the Mean Girls! Karma had arrived! They solidly planted
their feet on the ground to prevent my entrance but a sturdy shove by one of my big hips immediately opened that gate fast. Now I was face on to the parade with my IPad held high to snap away to my hearts content. Sorry, brats....what goes around, comes around.
Enough was enough.....this park just didn't feel magical to us at all. A friend had suggested a great hot dog place near the Haunted House to eat. We asked 4 different crew members for directions before we located it on Main Street. More massive lines. It was the same gigantic hot dog we had at Hollywood Studios so we passed on it and headed out of the park. Again, enough was enough.
From past years, we had found a fun time over at the Polynesian Village so off we went on a small transport boat to get there. We passed the gorgeous Floridian where we had stayed at one time. Once at the Polynesian, we got onto their dock where they had small racer boats for rent. Why not? Let's do it! Okay. They gave us a quick lesson on how to operate it and the safety rules
and we were off.
The lifejackets were killers. I felt like I was in full body armor made out of thick, stiff foam. Definitely, the Michelin Madam. A tad of a challenge for me to get down into this small, rocking, no leg room boat (where you sat pretty much just on the bottom of this miniature yacht)....wearing a bulky life vest. But eventually, I made it.
Cory was the captain of our ship. So distinguished! It was going to be our brief (1/2 hr.) little romantic get-a-way. He started the boat out good from the dock area but then thrush the shift into high gear and we were off! I was almost shot out of this boat - the one I could barely even get into. Zoooooom. My hair was slicked back like a hood ornament, again....what hair I have. I wanted to take a selfie so Cory tried to put his hairy arm around me but instead knocked my head that knocked my visor hat right off. It went flying! I almost did, too. He was going to go back but there was no way to try and locate it in this ocean plus if we
tried to reach for it, we surely would have tipped over....and drowned. The End! The boat read on the dash it could hold a maximum of 325 lbs. All I'm going to say is that our numbers outweighed theirs! We're going to die! Help!
The monitoring Coast Guard or security boat saw us thrashing our arms around and believed we were in distress. I was, kind of, cause my $2.00 glittery, Flea Market visor was gone. But I could survive....not really the end of the world. Waw! Move on, Sandra! Let It Go!
The water guard asked what was wrong and we told them. They would look for my visor in the channel we had just come from. Okay and good luck. Now, Cory was back in full throttle again. The waves were rocking us, the water was splashing us...we had no idea where we were going. We were two lost souls out at sea. Romantic? NO!
We returned a little before our 1/2 hour was up....fine with me. Another major project getting out of the small cruise liner but I made it. But it wasn't easy. That lifejacket was so cumbersome. So glad to be rid
of that piece of garb. I was glad I had it on when out on the deep waters though.....just in case the mini Titanic couldn't hold us both.
As we hauled ourselves out of the boat, the helper man asked about our voyage. Of course, I shared with him my visor loss. He said: " You didn't lose it!!" He reached behind my seat and there it was: hooked around the gas cap cover. WOW! Yes, there it was....my glittering visor, sparkling in the sunshine. Hooray, Hooray, what a good day....now. When Cory knocked it off my injured head, it must have flown back and got caught on this gas cap. Of course, we couldn't turn around in our seats to look because of the restraining, awkward life jackets. We were frozen in a front facing position. Hallelujah. Life is good. I have my cheap visor back again.
Once back on terra firma, we returned to pay our bill and check out. $32.00, not bad but it was a rather challenging boat ride to say the least. The cashier asked about the ride and if we had lost anything. We repeated the visor saga but showed him we
had it back. No matter, he handed us a coupon to go buy another hat in their gift shop. Really?? Okay, but, but.....
We ran to the gift shop before they changed their mind. Cory picked out an expensive Nike "Mickey" golf hat and gave them our coupon.....all while I'm wearing my glittery visor. Fine..."Have a nice day." We needed that! Our dreams were beginning to come true....finally.
One last stop: Trader Sam's Grog Grotto. We had been here last year and had so much fun at this alcoholic haven. It's a hard place to describe...you have to just go there. It is a small, partially hidden away bar in the Polynesian Lodge. Limited seating. Very dark and foreboding inside. Specialty drinks are entertaining besides being quite intoxicating. When someone orders their huge Skull Tiki drink (Uh-Oa!) which they set afire and the drinkers keep adding stuff to it to keep it burning: the lights flicker, the storm starts, the volcanoes erupt, the rain falls....you name it...it is an experience for everyone present to enjoy. Maybe a little like the Rain Forest Cafe but here, the customers are drunk. Some drinks bring out real zombie wait-staff, others call
for cheers when a Polynesian Pearl is ordered. It's not a relaxing, quiet lounge......you are kept alert while slurping down a drink of the unknown. I had a spikey pineapple .....delicious....couldn't taste any alcohol in it. Great! Oh, but wait.....even though I was not on the boat any longer, the waves beneath me were rocking and rolling. Cory was happy sipping on his Manhattan (s).
Time to head home. We had more than a day for ourselves. We hopped aboard the monorail at the Polynesian to get back to Mickey's Place. From there, we found ourselves back on the ferry boat skimming the waters to the shore where we would find a tram to take us back to the multi acre parking lot where our car was located...somewhere. Minimal lines going in this direction of out!
Phew! Made it! What a day! What did you think? Did you have enough of it, also? So ends our visits to Disneyworld's four theme parks. Over all.....it was fun and we enjoyed ourselves. As in life, there are always some hurdles to jump and bridges to cross. We did them all before our park hopping ended.
We shall reflect upon
these adventures as good memories because we know we won't go back there for awhile....that we do know for sure. "May All Your Dreams Come True" no matter where you are .....not just in the Magic Kingdom. Please, no more Magic Kingdom........pleeease.
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Kate
non-member comment
Magic Kingdom
There is a reason it is called Magic Kingdom.... kids only! Stay away from parks ! They will kill you. Keep close to your camper and drink with friends LOL