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Published: April 3rd 2011
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I’ve been working so much that I’m kind of in a constant daze, not really knowing what day it is, except in reference to where and what I need to be at any given moment. I recently wrote my little nephew, saying I couldn’t wait to see him on Saturday (wrote it on a Friday, meaning I would see him the next day – and I even knew it – but my brain’s a little scrambled right now). Having four jobs is currently a good problem to have – it’s just that they’re all so different from one another, and all often need my attention every day. Recently, the few times I’ve felt any sense of Zen have been (not so surprisingly) in my car and on the road. Emotionally I’m so ready to be up and out but there’s more to do before hitting the road, in particular because the saving thing has been two steps forward, three back but I’m getting there.
In and around all this my cat Pinball started looking really sick, and after the tests came back the vet visit that started with “You need to stay optimistic” ended with numerous staff members coming in
to offer condolences because he’s got only about 25% left of kidney function. He’s been my buddy for 16 years, since he was a tiny kitten who fit in my hand. He’s a special kind of cat, doesn’t like a whole lot of people, can sometimes get into a mood and haul off and stalk you or bite you. I describe him to folks as “lovably psychotic” and I love him with all my heart.
Trying to figure out what to do with PB has been the only mar on my dreams of adventure. I considered taking him to my family, or one of my friends he actually cares for, but it still didn’t sit right with me because I was abandoning him and I’m his human mom. All this before he started looking sick, the tests, the news. They said things are probably going to start declining really quickly; I asked how I’d know when to do what I knew I had to do. They said I’d know. And sometimes it’s so weird to stand outside of it all, the cosmic timing… Pinball loves me and he’s letting me go in the only way I can feel
right about it.
And if it sounds like I’m saying this all coldly or soullessly it’s because I’m really trying (and often failing) to keep my shit together. When I miscarried years ago, he was such a source of comfort, just knew I needed him and he was there, following me back and forth from the bathroom to the bedroom, jumping on the bed to wedge up against my chest to purr against my heart. This often gruff, sometimes mean, mean cat looked after me – and that’s something I’ll never forget. And now it’s his turn, and I’m just wanting whatever time we’ve got together to be good. Fancy/spendy wet food and ice water have gone from being occasional treats to a now daily hope that he’ll try and keep his strength up. Soon I’ll have to find my own and be able to let him go, but thankfully not today.
On a blessedly lighter note, I need to send a shout out to my mom for making me short. Seriously, what once seemed like a challenge now spells O.P.P.O.R.T.U.N.I.T.Y. My buddy Patti’s been on the lookout for a traveling mattress for me and every so often
she’ll be out shopping and call me to describe her latest find. Once she called and said “It looks like a kid’s mattress but it’s pretty big, taller than me.” Well at 5’2″ even I’M taller than you, Patti.
But it got me to thinking and I came across an idea… Like a modern-day Goldilocks I needed no more than a tape measure, some product specs, a rum and coke and a web search to tell my car-converting pal Kenny and me that a twin bed was too big… an old-school sleeping bag too insignificant… Futon? Nah, too cumbersome… an extendable mattress – what the hell is that? Wait, it’s in the kids’ department… wait it goes from what size to what size? How? Granted the rum and cokes probably weren’t bolstering our IQs much, but we managed to suss out the pros and cons of the different makes and models. But wait, what’s the weight limit on these bad boys? And if I grossly exceed said-limit what’s the worst that will happen? Me being the morbid sumbitch I am I had numerous visions of springs revolting in distress and popping through to impale a vital organ, but hey
it was worth checking out.
I had removed my backseats about a month ago, then debated about what to do about the front passenger seat. On one hand it's just not sociable to drive without a passenger seat. On the other hand when I show up to a friend's town I hope they'll be inclined to let me hop in their car, or better yet get us on whatever public transportation system they have. And let's face it, one of the major advantages of travelling alone is that I can do seemingly self-involved things like removing the passenger seat and who's gonna say anything? And you know what? I love it! Can't decide whether to turn the space into a makeshift bathroom, a mini kitchen or just storage bay, but nixing the pax seat was a great choice!
And with the car cleared of all but the driver's seat I went to IKEA yesterday, and with a thankfully unembarrassed Patti I gave all the extendable mattresses a once or twice-over - and with very little effort I soon became the proud owner of a Vissa Vinka extendable toddler bed (which spawned numerous varying nicknames and more than a
few stories about Oksana Baiul).
It is absolutely awesome, pretty freaking comfortable (remind me I said that once I’m on the road) and only set me back 90 bucks. I’m digging it. Next up, the platform!
PS any non-working/waking hours have also been spent transferring my vast music collection to my new birthday IPOD. I used to be a bluegrass dj so the collection is pretty ridiculous but I'm so excited to be taking these little (and some not-so-little) steps to get gone. I also sent away for a renewed passport, which my girlfriends chipped in to buy me; I will raise a few Molsons in their honor soon enough!
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