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Published: February 28th 2008
If you believe what you see on American television, in South Beach (aka SoBe) Miami the sun always shines. Beautiful people, fresh out of either solarium or plastic surgery, sip expensive cocktails in hip bars by an impossibly spectacular beach, before driving home along Ocean Drive in their harley or convertable (top down of course)... which may, or may not be stolen later. Sadly my only knowledge of Miami was the sum of 20-something years of American television. Quality programming including Miami Vice, Nip Tuck, CSI Miami, Miami Ink ... all reinforced most of, or all of the above stereotypes. I had a 3 night layover here on-route from Toronto to Mexico City to check out the scene and thaw out.
In reality, Miami is hardly as offensive as its many stereotypes suggest. The first thing you notice about SoBe is the art deco. Gorgeous pastel buildings, with distinctive rectangular angles and white features line SoBe's famous strip - Ocean Drive. The beach itself is clean, a wide stretch of sand and inviting blue sea, presided over by baywatch style towers. A great beach - even by Aussie standards - which are generally impossibly high! Sure, there's a problem with
crime. Apparently, Miami ranks as the second most dangerous city in the US based on the number of murders, rapes, robberies, aggravated assaults, burglaries and motor vehicle thefts that have occurred in the metropolitan area. Most will have heard the tale of enigmatic Italian fashion designer, Gianni Versace. Back in 1997, Gianni was shot dead out the front of his mansion - 'Palazzo Versace', also known as Casa Casuarina on Ocean Drive. Personally, I don't notice this sinister vibe - it seems like SoBe's done some cleaning up in the recent past.
Unfortunately, my hostel mates Di, Hege and I - are unable to afford the finer trappings of the SoBe lifestyle. We give it our best shot though. We begin by spending a good half hour tormenting the shop assistants at
American Apparel .... trying on a number of ludicrous jumpsuit-like outfits involving skin tight lycra, glitter and bling. Just click on the link ... I've chosen to spare you the trauma of real life photographs! South Beach is calling ... to sunbath topless or not? It would seem the locals don't have tan lines, it would also seem the local boys with their mobile phones out are voting
tops off. We choose dignity and tan lines. Then it's time to 'do lunch' Miami style - which means gigantic cocktails and gigantic plates of food. Enough to feed a small country and then some, all piled on a plate almost the size of a football field at the great people-watching cafe Nexxt. It's post-Christmas sale time in Miami's many shopping malls - so we trawl the shops along Lincoln Mall bargain hunting. Our best find is probably the second hand clothing shop we stumble across amongst all the brand name shops. Hege buys a great jacket and cocktail dress - I find a butterfly brooch.
From here we inadvertantly end up at
Miami Ink - the tatt parlor made famous from the tv show of the same name. I walked in open to the idea of a tatt, but not sure what design to get. In the show, the wacky designers quiz customers about their life and then come up with an appropriately cool tatt ... In real life, I walked in, flicked through a pile of binders with pictures of tatts and found nothing remotely cool or unique and no one quizzed me about my life. So, over
that idea there was nothing left to do, but sample the nightlife. Red wine in plastic cups at the hostel, mojhitos the size of large goldfish bowls, cool bars with vacant customers, vacant bars with cool customers .... that's SoBe for you. A few days was enough ... time for Mehico!!!
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Jessie
non-member comment
why no tatt?
Maynes, I'm disappointed in the lack of tatt from Miami Ink!! Still on your list of things to do, surely. Jessie x