Don't Sweat the Petty Things...

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"Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things" ~

Al's out taking photos so I had some quiet time on the patio to send off a little blog. Continuing to wake to beautiful weather every morning - no rain except one downpour one night last week. And we've been having much hotter weather too.

It's a highlight each morning to eagerly see if that old iguana will come out onto the lawn and lift his head to the sun, then slowly but surely make his way up on the big rock. That poor old guy has had it tough. We were told he was found near death some time ago. Nobody knows what happened to him, but they discovered he'd suffered a broken leg, and when you see him move, you do see it causes him some effort to get around.

While he appears quite stoic with his dewlap (a large loose flap of skin under his chin) and doesn't acknowledge your presence, you do see a bit of eye moment when you toss him a piece of fruit up on his perk. I'm not a fan of feeding wild animals, but the neighbors give him a helping hand due to his leg (no pun intended!), so I feel I can do the same. I don't know if it's his son or grandson that comes out on the rock too, but he's smaller and not so pre-historic looking. They sort of play together, and at one point the little guy was running & playing with him then hopped on the old guy's back. It was hilarious. With a nudge of his nose on the little guy's tail he told him enough of this fooling around and get back up on the rock... 😉 They are really harmless and passive - they are the real locals here. I don't get in their space and let them be.

Then there's this little black lizard that wheels around through the rocks pretty quickly, and one day while Al had his camera lens on him, he witnessed the most fascinating thing. All of a sudden it's like this huge bubble bulged out of his neck. (See side pics). It appears they do this to intimidate another lizard, or it can be a show-off mating ritual. I tell you if that was Al's dating ritual when we met he'd still be single 😊 But that little guy looked pretty impressive when he did it. He may be small & a lizard, but he's the Elvis of lizards! (The pics are hilarious.)

Al walks the ocean every morning with his camera hoping to always find something interesting to shoot. After almost giving up, he spots the movement of these little yellow bird feet and then the rest of it comes into view from around a rock. It's a green heron! We've never seen one of these guys! And he's a really colorful guy with yellow feet, piercing yellow eyes, a dark grey/blue body, and a red neck. He walks with his neck pulled in, but wait for it....he did this most fascinating quick-change artist thing. All of a sudden to look for fish (and catch them) he stretched out this very long giraffe-like neck that rose upward like an elevator! Talk about a surprise! Please look at the before & after pics of this heron - it's pretty cool to see! Al & I kept wondering, where in the heck does this long neck go when not in use? I guess it's stuck down in his chest and that's why he looks so stocky and conservative upon first sight.

He continued to keep his neck stretched out as he climbed the rocks to one of the saltwater lagoon pools. He then sat by the water and Al was rewarded with his patience. The heron stuck out his long neck into the water and snapped up a fish to eat. Genius! Apparently the green herons are quite bright; they are the only birds that steal bread or pellets to bait fish. It's amazing how smart wildlife/animals are, yet humans don't even know how to push a grocery cart in Walmart.

Sunday was a 5/10 km race here in PA. So notes were left on everyone's vehicles & golf carts to indicate that certain areas would be blocked off. We needed some items at the grocery store, but frankly not only was it race day, but it's the day off for many locals, so it's like the Hunger Games going to the grocery store on Sundays. Thanks but no thanks. I'd rather be stretched out on a rack in the extreme heat than attempt that errand.

Forgive me, but I don't understand why anyone on vacation in a tropical paradise would want to run in the heat? What an insult to that guy or gal who invented the golf cart to avoid exertion on a sunny vacation 😊 If you catch me running in this heat, you'd better run too because it means I'm being chased by a bear. Do you all remember that old joke? You don't have to outrun a bear, you just have to outrun your friend!

So yesterday Al & I enjoyed a leisurely breakfast and reading on the terrace, and a swim in the pool as it was still rather quiet. There are neighbors here, and some sit out on their balcony, and go in the hot tub etc., but I expect some were participating in the race, or out walking, or golfing. This is a very very active community here, and the retirees that live here are very fit. Many of them can put some 30/40 year old's to shame. All throughout the day, you see them all out speed walking with their arms swinging away, wearing sporty outfits and carrying water bottles.

I sort of feel very lazy and/or guilty as we zip past them on our golf cart but trust me, the feeling doesn't last long! If I was staying here for months like many, I'd be hoofing it too, so there. But I'm not, so I won't hoof it. So I guess we look like real 'out-of-towners'. Plus we don't have a dog or dogs so we realllly look like out-of-towners. Everybody and their aunt Bessie has a dog here. Some people have more than one dog. There are even dog walkers here. And there's even a doggie spa. Maybe I can get a job as a dog walker for a few months to stay on? These dogs are even sitting at the table eating gelato! (I may have even seen one sipping wine but I can't be sure...it was around happy hour. 😉 I swear in my next life I'm coming back as a dog of some rich person. (Just don't want to be one of those celebrity frou-frou dogs being carried in a purse ;(

So speaking of not hoofing it, yesterday our golf cart started to act up. Yes that zippy brand new golf cart was losing power. After having lunch at an Italian cafe, Al realized he was out of beer at the condo. So because we avoided the supermarket due to the above mentioned race day, he thought he could get it at the convenience store in our area. NOPE. They stop selling it on Sundays at 1PM. We were told 5PM. So Al goes to the liquor store at the marina, and he missed it by 5 minutes. So here we are on vacation, in a hot climate, and Al has no beer. I know, the burdens we face. (Grab a tissue for us).

He said he could live with no beer till the next day. So not only am I cute 😉 I'm smart too. So I suggested that it being 4:40, he take the golf cart to the entrance of the area, park it and go to the gas station on the highway as they are still probably legal to sell it till 5PM as they are not in a closed community. (Been in Mexico plenty of times to know the deal).

Meanwhile back at the farm, I'm sitting at the marina enjoying happy hour, and the waiter who we've gotten to know asked me where Al went. He might've thought we had a fight (lord if only he knew what was coming...read on). So I explain that he couldn't buy beer & was off to try the gas station, and he said, "No worries, I know the owner of the liquor store and I can help you out". I realized I could not reach Al as he'd have no cell signal. Turns out I was right though, Al got in in under the wire, and was able to buy his beer at this gas station. Al had hearts in his eyes for me the rest of the day...Until...(Insert soap opera music. To be continued. Cliff-hanger to follow (heh heh)

So when Al & I start our return home on the cart, Al mentions that on his way to get beer the cart was sluggish. So I said you should've mentioned it to me & I could've gotten ahold of the guy who rented it to us when I was at the marina. Sure enough, about half way home, the darn thing died. So Al turned it off, and then tried it again, and managed to go a few feet and then pfffft. REALLY? So now those fit speed walkers are zipping by us, and there we are starting and stopping & putting along like we are absolute morons. So this is what it came down to...(eye rolling).

I steered while Al pushed the cart up the street. So of course, people were making jokes with us, "Like you know those things run on batteries"! "Or did you lose your plug"! I waved like the queen & said "Honestly, we have been charging it but thank you for your concern!". Sarcastic tourists. (OK I know, it takes one to know one...) It was kinda funny when I think of it.

One guy offered to help us, and told us about the "tow" button so we did not burn out the motor. Finally the end was in sight, and I said to Al, "Well at least our condo neighbors didn't see this embarrassment". Just as Al was grunting to get the cart backed into our parking space & those words came out of my mouth, our condo neighbors from Canada, walked out the front door to go for dinner. Aw tartar sauce. To keep some of our pride and dignity we explained what happened & of course they felt bad for us.

Finally we decide to plug the stupid cart into an empty space next to us thinking it could be that our outlet is not working. So we come in, and Al goes back out every once in a while to make sure it's charging. At one point I'm in the bedroom which faces the street and I thought I heard & or saw the cart being moved and now I'm concerned we've parked in an owner's spot. So I yell out to Al & he goes out, and of course no one had moved it & we do have a lock on it. It was sitting there as we had parked it. I was starting to wonder if the heat was getting to me - am I really getting stressed out over a golf cart? We were both disappointed because we made plans to go out for dinner and hear that fabulous music duo again 😞

So in the meantime I email Bruno who rented us the golf cart saying that something is amiss and could he check in with me. I told him the cart had died, and perhaps it was our power outlet but we weren't sure. Then I contacted the manager of the condo to say we thought our parking outlet was not working. Then Al pipes up and tells me that he thought it was fixed because he just reset a switch on the outlet. So then I turn around and email Bruno back to say, "Problem solved, it was the power outlet not the golf cart itself and have a good day".

Al could see that it had a half charge on it, so he figured we'd have enough juice to go out & back to listen to that great music. On the way there on said golf cart, Al says to me, "I think I finally figured it out. It's NOT the power outlet, it's the battery charger on the golf cart that is not firing properly". So I look at Al and say WHAT? That's not what you told me? I just emailed Bruno we didn't need his help because you thought you reset the power outlet?

You know there's a lot of truth about that quote, "Being married is like having a best friend who doesn't remember anything you say".

So here we are on this bleeping golf cart that is starting to fail again acting like the married Bickersons. We were actually having a spat on a slow moving golf cart, and if that is not embarrassing enough, I am very sure people walking past us are overhearing our spat despite our whispered teeth-clenched tone. I blame it on the heat 😉

So here's our conversation:

Me: "Well why didn't you tell me it was the battery charger before I emailed everybody it was the power outlet"?

Al: "I thought I told you that I figured out it was the battery and that's why you emailed Bruno to come fix it".

Me: "Well I did ask Bruno to come fix it until you told me it was the power outlet & you had reset it. Why in the world would you let me go ahead and contact the condo manager if the issue had nothing to do with the condo and had all to do with the bleeping golf cart's battery"?

Al: "Well that's not what I heard you say, I actually had no idea why you were emailing the condo manager as it's the BATTERY pack on the golf cart that is not working".

For the love of Pete... Clearly it was a miscommunication thing on both our parts.

So we limped it out to the marina, praying when we left later on we had enough juice to get home. We finally get all settled on a big cozy couch in our favorite bar, order a drink, are no longer bickering, and about 20 minutes into the set, the guitarist says, "I'm really sorry folks, but I'm really sick and we're packing it in". Are you kidding me after all that? :-?

Me: "WAH...WAH...WAH"

So we ate and after one drink got back on the love mobile. The golf cart still had a charge, but it was still really pathetic. I swear that old iguana on our property with the broken arthritic leg could outrun us at this point. It's now dark and while this is a very busy tourist area with cars and golf carts streaming by, here we are again... Going so slow we're almost going backwards. It got to the point where we turned off the lights on the cart to preserve the juice.

So I look at Al and say, "Wow isn't this just great. We've got no lights, what if a dog runs out on the street and even though we're going slow we hit it? We'd never be seen or heard from again (probably wearing cement shoes on the bottom of our lagoon) as this community is doggie paradise and I'm pretty sure the Mayor is a dog". You could run over a small child, but a dog? Heaven's to mercy, we'd be crucified. Thankfully the streets are well lit and no animals or children were hurt in the process of us getting home. It felt like we were two backwoods rednecks pushing the cart back to our condo. I had a vision that eventually Al & I would become Fred & Wilma Flintstone, resorting to removing the cart floor & relying on foot power.

So we got home & guess who I emailed? Yep Bruno again about this ever-loving golf cart. Can a girl not catch a break on her second honeymoon?

Within an hour of all the nonsense last night, with our sliding doors open and the music of the waves from the ocean, we were lulled into la-la-land. I believe I dreamt I was pushing a log up a hill all night. I am sure I heard Al murmuring something about 'battery packs' and blah blah blah.

UPDATE

*Bruno showed up this morning & replaced our charger.

**Al & I are still married. :}

***The iguana seems to be moving faster this morning as if he's teasing us about our slow golf cart.

****We need groceries, so we are warily looking at our golf cart praying the problem has been solved.

*****When all else fails, drink a margarita and have a nap.

Signing off from the land of golf carts, iguanas, birds and rednecks 😉 (see pics below of all that & our ocean views this am!)

Sal & Mario Andretti (NOT)

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