Turkey Schmurkey

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Geo: 38.4122, 27.1387

Turkey had my blood boiling before 10am. We got off the boat around 9am today and walked by the Carnival tour buses straight to the Izmir City Tour bus. This bus is advertised as a hop-on, hop-off bus which stops at 17 stops throughout Izmir and is super cheap at a price of 10 Euros per person for a ticket good for the entire day. Well, we got to the bus and it was about 75% full and started to leave so I gestured to the driver "Can we get on?" and he took his finger, moved it across in a line as if to cut his neck off and said "NO!" Dangit! He left and then I saw a little ticket booth - with a line of others wanting tickets. O, Okay, I won't take offense to the nasty driver now so we'll get in line for tickets. We quickly realize, in the next 20 minutes, the racketeering going-on in Turkey with this bus - the drivers and the big boss and the ticket guy - they are all men, of course - are telling everyone the bus only runs once an hour (not true) and you can buy tickets for the 11:00 am bus OR you can get a taxi ASAP from my buddy here for 50 Euros and he'll conveniently give you a city tour. Several people fell for it and the bus line dwindled quickly because nobody wanted to wait over 90 minutes for this bus. The taxi drivers were standing next to the boss and he would assign them a family to approach. We were approached by four or five taxi drivers while waiting. The next bus came in about 10 minutes, as predicted, and even though the bus was again only 75% full, we were not allowed onboard because the boss had written the 11:00 time on the back of our ticket receipts and he refused to let the driver let us on the bus. At this point, I was pissed. Kamie wanted to consider a taxi but I already knew the taxis are a big rip-off, too.. they take you to just a few minutes away from where you want to be and tell you the price is no longer 50 Euro total but 50 Euro per person and you better pay-up or they will call the polizo. Another Turkish screw job. No wonder Turkey isn't part of the EU and they probably never will be. So, my blood slowly simmering, we waited...and the second bus starts to pull away... and 3 MEN (of course) of very dark color (Indian probably) who were probably Carnival crew members, had just walked-up to the ticket booth - and the boss walked them to the bus pulling away and they got on right then and there!! That was it! MY BLOOD WAS BOILING!! I was so pissed. I wanted to get back on the ship and say Eff You to Turkey right then and there. Kamie didn't have any reaction at all - I think he was scared that his wife was going to get him in trouble in this shitpile of a country. I did realize, however, that I needed to not voice my complaints or my displeasure because frankly, we had stood in line, we had paid for the tickets, we wanted to go out and see Izmir and shop at the bazaar and we were at their mercy. I shut my mouth and watched family after family getting redirected to their taxi buddies. Within 10 minutes, a third bus arrived and it was not even 25% full - the boss had helped-out his taxi buddies as much as possible and we had waited him out. Before 10am, he came over and let us on the bus. The bus was so empty, in fact, that we sat there and waited for them to hurry-up and sell more bus tickets to new cruisers walking out of the port. I suppose the boss has to keep the buses semi-full for looks. Jerks.

So, we get on the bus.. and we meet two of the lovelist couples we've met this cruise! Four retired folks from Port St Lucy, Florida (no clue if I spelled that correctly). And, to be frank, the old people moving at a snail's pace this cruise, having to have every instruction repeated, and generally getting in the freaking way all over Venice have driven Kamie to the brink of wanting to knock them off the pier into the water at points. So... here we meet a group of happy, pleasant, funny, and generally joyful old people and we loved them!! None of them were originally from Florida, of course, they just retired there... something I talk to Kamie about every few months... just to let him know where we are going in about 15 years. :-D Atleast, that's the hopeful plan!

So, the bus ride started off very joyful despite the hassle getting onboard. Turkey is a convergence of the poor & old mixed with the new & flashy... large, fancy billboards next to tall, deteriorating buildings. It was interesting to see the waterfront restaurants, attempting to lure English-speaking tourists, having named these newer-looking restaurants with names like.. Popcorn ..or Melissa... or Serena.. or Venezia... funny names, we thought. Definitely more attractive to the American customer than something that looks like Dptokashet with some symbols in the middle.

Izmir is a HUGE city. Several million. Kamie was surprised. I didn't know what to expect but I did think it would be wall-to-wall people and that is was. Which reminds me, it was early morning and overcast when we arrived and as we are pulling out of port now, at just after 6:30pm (over 90 minutes late), it is pouring rain and has been for over two hours! We got lucky! Recent weather has been in the 90s and sunny. We had a nice coolish day, wind from the ocean, and no rain! It started to sprinkle for just a few minutes on our open-air bus and they handed-out free rain jackets but we quickly got rid of those. O..back to the fact that we are leaving port almost 2 hours late tonight..because 2 buses of people are missing! Wouldn't that be scary?!
Update: there was a traffic delay due to the heavy rainstorm and did Carnival wait for the buses, thank goodness! I would hate to be stuck in this ridiculous country. Turkey is where the real thieves are, not Greece!

By the way, Kamie said I forgot to tell everyone yesterday that the guy in the seat behind us on the bus (in Greece) not only yelled "They are thieves" over and over but he yelled "I put a curse on you!" to them and Kamie & I looked at each other and didn't comment. Later, we got back to the room & laughed about it. Kamie said we should consider who are the freaks here really... the old buzzard from New Jersey who put a curse on the Greek girls or the Greek people who think we need to have an eye-thingamajig to ward off evil spirits! LOL

And back to the bus ride into the city center... we rode the bus for 7 stops... about 15 minutes through the one-hour tour... and got off near the Kemeralti bazaar. We started to walk and shop and my frustration with my husband grew quickly. He still has not learned the big rule of travel: if you see something you really like, buy it or else you will never see it again. Ever. It's the Murphy's law of travel. Knowing the Turkish Lira to the US dollar is a good deal for us, today was a preplanned shopping day. Kamie finally got in the mood and the shopping commenced! We get some Lira from an ATM. At first, we sorta screwed-up.. not knowing how to bargain or understanding the price structure very well... but then we finally left Turkey with soooooooooo many things for seemingly nothing!! T-shirts, pants, belts, aprons, cigarettes, Coke Zero bottled in Istanbul (I just drank one so let's hope & pray I don't get traveler's diarrhea soon), and.. well... we loaded-up with ALL sorts of things! Kamie got the two prizes of the day or at least he thinks he did. He bought a fez, because he's an old-fashioned Turkish Muslim guy now I suppose. Also, prior to leaving for our trip, we had read articles that you can purchase real leather items (especially jackets) for pennies here. It is true. There were leather stores everywhere. First, Kamie found a coat he liked and lo and behold it was 500 Euro! What happened to the 75 Lira sign outside the shop??!! The guy said it was 75 Euro. I don't remember seeing a Euro sign anywhere today. Finally, we found a coat we both liked - not brown, not black - perfect compromise - and it looked perfect on Kamie - and the tag said 325 Euro. They had advertised to get us inside and there was no 75 Lira or 75 Euro real leather jacket to be had. The guy used his lighter to show the jacket was real. Kamie used his lighter, to make sure. We needed to bargain if we were going to get this jacket. I had watched an American couple purchase gold, diamond & sapphire earrings for far less than half the advertised price. I had watched another lady purchase a bag for the price SHE stated. I tried her trick. Kamie was standing there, beaming in his jacket, the smell of leather all around us, and I said NO NO NO we cannot pay 325 Euro, take the jacket off. The guy started bargaining with me...finally...175 Euro. I then counted the money we had on us (knowing I'd only left the bus with 100 Euro) and said we didn't have 175 Euro...again, I said, Kamie, take the jacket off. Kamie starts to take the jacket off and the guy and I continue to bargain. I finally recount all my Euros and tell him we have 70 Euros. NO MORE. He said he had to have 100 Euros. I wasn't lying. I only had 70 Euro on me but I had 100 Lira and he knew I had Lira cuz he had overheard me earlier so he asked how much Lira I had. I bluffed and said 50 Lira. He kept asking and I refused to budge. I told him 70 Euro and 50 Lira or we leave. He finally sold the jacket to us at that price. I'm proud of myself for that now that I think about it. Kamie walked out with an amazing leather jacket with awesome pockets, sheepskin lining, great details, etc. Of course, the guy almost shot me when he saw me run next door and get change before I paid him - I needed two, 50 Liras - and thank goodness the shopkeeper next door made change for me since I had purchased a t-shirt from him earlier. Ha Ha Ha All-in-all a great day of bargaining. After the jacket, everything we purchased, I just said "we only have X amount of Lira" and, of course, they magically took whatever I had. I learned this from watching other bargainers but it worked for us. We walked back onboard with exactly 1 Lira coin on us!! HAHA My new pants (I bought two pair today for a total of 10 Lira) are hanging on our clothesline (in the shower, I had washed them already) as I write this and Kamie's jacket is hanging in his closet. I told Kamie we are DONE shopping for this trip... two cannolis in Sicily is all we can afford! HA

I am going to tell two bad stories now. One is my blunder. The other story is Kamie's MUCH BIGGER blunder. Neither one of us are proud of these stories but I can't tell of his horrific blunder without telling of my little one. They both involve shopping. We first went into the market and I saw a cart full of wooden spoons listed for 5 Lira each. I immediately started bargaining for 2 spoons for 2. No. They finally agreed to 2 spoons for 4. And then I gave them 4 EURO. That is correct! EURO!! I didn't realize what I had done and they kept trying to give me lots more spoons and were yelling after me and we walked off because I just figured that is what they do but no.. I paid 2 Euro each for these amazing wooden spoons.. that are probably worth nothing. HA! Lesson quickly learned. All the Euros were set aside and we used Lira after my blunder. So, Kamie keeps talking about my spoons but he refuses to understand how bad his blunder was and he won't understand until we get home and I show him the Sex In The City 2 Movie. If you have seen it, you will understand this next story better than most. Kamie really wanted a Fez today. I kept asking for one and people would say "You are Americans??!!" Well, of course we know it's a stupid souvenir but Kamie wants it to wear to work & show the kids so damn if we weren't going to find one. So, again, I asked a guy for a Fez and he smiles... says..."You are Americans?" Yes. Okay, you come with me. We follow him across the dark, small, covered bazaar and into a store and to the back and around a corner and he starts going upstairs to a "special room" and says "You come with me" and KAMIE STARTS TO FOLLOW HIM and I say "NO!" And I take Kamie's arm and I have to convince him to get the hell out of dodge. Seriously!! I start talking very fast and explaining how all sorts of bad things can happen in "special rooms upstairs" and Kamie finally agrees to leave but I'm fairly certain he was pissed at me for about an hour. I later had to explain to him the danger in doing something like that but I don't think he really believed me. Good Lawd what would Kamie do without me??!! Kamie did get his Fez, later, at a seemingly reputable shop closer to port that was selling them for like 3 Lira - out in the open! He's a happy camper and today was interesting and a great shopping experience but the truth is.. I'm mentally exhausted from being "aware" and bargaining and yelling back at these men all day and because Kamie & I went wayyyy away from the area where the other Americans or cruise ships were (hence some very good bargains) but I was even afraid to take pictures in that area and it did not feel safe.

So...overall...I don't like Turkey. I'm an open-minded, good traveler but I call it as I see it - the women are obvious treated as second class citizens here and the men are dishonest - it's part of their culture and I don't like it. So, we got on and off the bus a couple more times. Kamie bought what everyone else was eating - these tiny little fruits (?) that look like baby green apples/tomatoes that they call sweets - but they are bitter. We liked them. We saw a school and the small children on the school bus went crazy waving at us and blowing us kisses. It was odd and sorta sweet. We saw the blue mosque. We saw a bunch of crapola I can't remember right now because I'm typing this in between stopping to hand wash our new items and hang them up and watching the movie Bridesmaids on TV. It's later now. Kamie is snoring. We are on our way out of this area of the world and headed toward the island of Sicily - where parts of The Godfather movies were filmed and the home of the cannoli! It will take us until May 11th to reach Sicily so tomorrow we have a nice relaxing sea day.

O.. one last thing... the call to prayer is supposedly five times a day here...we heard it once.. at 8am. That's all. It was a little odd to hear it. I'm sure there are perfectly nice Muslims but I think bad thoughts when I hear that freaky stuff. I feel like my redneck roots came out today but I don't care - these Turkish people are tricky and you have to be tricky back if you are going to get anywhere. Go Me!

PS - Sorry about all the cussing mom and dad.

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Photos

Wedding dress for sale everywhere - cheap cheap
Kamie liked THIS gawdy dress - of allll the wedding dresses everywhere! HA You could also get a full dress suit for 35 Lira!!