Cheesy music for a cheesy man

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January 10th 2008

Published: September 30th 2017

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vagabondvoyager

The entrance to Edinburgh castle.

Geo: 55.9503, -3.18761

3 AM - the friggin' fire alarm goes off! And this is how stupid we all were - no one really wanted to leave the room in case it was a false alarm. We peeked outside and saw many other people peeking outside their rooms looking confused, hoping that someone else would tell them what to do. One girl was totally panicked and asked me "WHAT DOES THIS MEAN????!!?" I was pretty out of it too, so I said "Uh ... leave?"

It was freezing out and all I was wearing was a t-shirt and shorts - I had locked up all of my stuff (including my jacket) in a locker and didn't think I should take the time to grab it. Luckily, we weren't stuck outside for long. I had trouble falling asleep after, half wondering if it would happen again.

Obviously, I didn't sleep very well but still woke up fairly early to get back to Edinburgh. Off to the hostel's included breakfast - I noticed the EGWTBE (Elevator Girl With The Beautiful Eyes) sitting by herself, so I figured I'd give myself a second opportunity to embarrass myself, or at the least, sit there

Some fake stale bread on display at Edinburgh's castle. Probably as tasty as the typical stale Spanish bread.

and stare into those beautiful eyes for a bit!

So where was this exotic-looking brunette with the beautiful eyes from? Karen replied "Israel, the Philippines, and Toronto". She's originally from Israel, but has moved around a fair bit. She only lived in Toronto for a year before leaving her parents behind to return to Israel.

She just completed her mandatory 3 year military service and is taking a break before starting her studies. I guess it's pretty common in Israel for people to start university at 23 or 24. While in Israel, she got hooked up with an outfit named "House of Fraser", a retailer that sells hair straighteners and accessories in shopping centre kiosks.

It's commission-based, and apparently she can earn anywhere from 30-200 GBP per day. She had to pay for her own flight to London, but she'll get reimbursed for it if she sticks around for 3 months. For accommodations, she pays the first 10 GBP every night and the company pays the rest. I'm not sure if I got that right, given that she didn't choose a nicer accommodation - but sometimes people stay at hostels for the social aspect as well as

Cool statue.

the cost.

Anyway, she had been in London for a few weeks, when they asked her to go to Glasgow a few days ago for a couple of weeks, and then it'll be Edinburgh for a few weeks after that. Not a bad way to see the UK; it sounds like a pretty sweet deal if you're young and want to do a working holiday.

So if any of you are traveling in the UK and happen to see a cute Israeli girl with beautiful eyes in a shopping centre, do her a favour and buy some hair accessories from her! It's a good thing I didn't meet her in the mall because I would have bought everything she was selling! Though I don't really need a hair straightener ... well, perhaps I do need one for my nose and armpit hairs!

Sadly, she was already running late for work so the conversation was cut short. But ... hmmm ... if there are more cute, petite brunettes with beautiful eyes there, perhaps a trip to Israel is in order in the near future ...

Unfortunately, breakfast wasn't as beautiful as Karen's eyes. Assorted cereals, puffed wheat that

The Stone of Scone, used for coronations of Scottish Monarchs.

looked like a crusty fried hash brown - I decided to do half raisin bran and half corn flakes. My toast wasn't very dark after one pass through the toaster, so I put it through again and burned it. I was too impatient to make fresh toast so I just ate it, but I put so much Nutella on it that I could barely taste the burned bits. The juice was crappy and instant, and the coffee machine spit out some rather pathetic swill.

Off to the train station - talk about displaying departure information at the last possible minute! The departure boards still weren't showing which platform the Edinburgh train was leaving from, even though it was already the departure time! I had to ask an employee to find out where to go.

Another dreary, rainy day in the UK. I listened to Saliva's "Here With You", a song about them touring, about all the places they have been, and how they'd soon be going home. It was a pretty fitting song for the train ride, especially since I had only a handful of days left before going home.

Edinburgh - I bought a 2-day ticket for

The Stone of Triumph, attached to Homer Simpson by the sacred order of the Stonecutters when they realized he was the chosen one.

the hop-on, hop-off bus tour. It's a pretty good deal if you are planning on visiting a number of attractions. The pass cost 34 GBP - the attractions on their own would cost you 30 GBP.

Edinburgh castle - I helped a couple of Filipino ladies take a photo. They told me they were "too stingy" to pay to go inside. I laughed because I'm also always stingy when traveling in the UK. I guess these ladies are working in Scotland right now. They joked that they aren't as lucky as me to be on vacation here.

The National War Memorial inside of the castle was one of the highlights - the shrine in the centre was particularly nice, with a statue of the Archangel Michael hanging from the ceiling and slaying the dragon. Interesting but sad fact - 1/3 of all adult male Scots died in WWI.

The regiment museum was kind of blah, and the crown jewels weren't as impressive as England's. But if I saw England's crown jewels again, I probably wouldn't care. Prominently displayed was the "Stone of Scone", used for coronations.

Interesting to note that Scotland's youngest Queen ever was Anne,

Commando country - is this a nation where nobody wears underwear?

who ascended the throne at the ripe old age of 9 months! I also came across something called the "Order of Garters". Does this involve females in lacy underthings? Where do I sign up??? The castle reminded me a little of the Tower of London. Overall, the castle was kind of blah.

I walked down the Royal Mile, Edinburgh's most famous street. I was soaked, despite carrying an umbrella - the umbrella kept the top half dry, but the brutal wind soaked the rest of me. It even briefly snowed!

The Writer's Museum - I only went inside because I was cold, and because it was free. The Cathedral wasn't very memorable, either. I grabbed lunch at the "Always Sunday" café, opting for the deli sandwich platter. It was a nice choice, because you could choose from a variety of items on display. It was a bit of a North American hangout - they were either students or tourists, for the most part.

I encountered a creepy monk as I left the restaurant. "Are you from China?" he asked. "No, I'm from Canada." "Oh, I'm so sorry ..." he replied, slightly embarrassed. I love making people feel

Edinburgh castle's bathroom is apparently consistently voted the cleanest in the country. And I'm happy to say that it's true! At least it was, until I was done with it ...

bad for saying stuff like that! Ha ha ha ... I am such a b@stard! Anyway, I ran away from him as quickly as I could. Leave me alone - I can't be saved!!!

Next was the "Museum of Childhood" - boring and creepy. I hate dolls! Unless they're inflatable ... On that note, I was over to the Parliament building. There was nothing to see - perhaps it would've been interesting if I could've gotten onto a tour. They probably had the strictest security of any tourist attraction I have ever gone to - they searched every part of my bag, even questioning why I had a padlock in there.

The Royal Palace was across the street from the Parliament building. It was pretty blah - the only interesting part was the Abbey ruins. I chatted with a lady from Walkerton (yes, the infamous Canadian town that had its water supply contaminated, resulting in numerous deaths) that was working at the palace - she visited Edinburgh three years ago and never left. She agreed with me that Canada was colder, but it was harder to take here because it's so damp and dreary all the time. She even

When people think fashion, they usually think Italy or France. But let's not forget the Scots and their single greatest contribution to the fashion world - the kilt. Can any guy think of a more lovely piece of fashion? Because I sure can't!

asked how the Calgary Flames were doing!

Over to the hostel - this time, they stuck me in the crappy annex across the street intended for long-term people. There are fewer facilities here and fewer common areas. Some areas seem to be off-limits to us short-termers. I chatted with one of my bunkmates, Janette - she's from Long Island but is in Europe ½ working and ½ volunteering. She told me that she used to date a Spaniard - those d@mn Spanish people ... why are they all so sexy???

Janette told me about the other bunkmates - 3 Aussie teens (messy, inconsiderate partiers) that left a huge mess on my bed for me, and another Aussie Nick, who was actually a considerate traveler and all-around decent guy.

Off to "Maison Bleue" for dinner - I noticed that they had a cheap fixed-menu when I walked by a few days ago. Their 2-3 course pre-theatre menu was 6-8 GBP - a stunning value in such an expensive part of the world. They started me with some bread - rye, multi-grain, and foccacia. Nothing spectacular, but decent.

Started chatting with the waitress - she's from TO and attended university

Fountain commerorating numerous women that were convicted of practicing witch craft.

in London for awhile (she's got dual British/Canadian citizenship). She wants to study prosthetic make-up (for movies) here in Edinburgh, but it's too expensive because even with her British citizenship, she's still considered an international student in Scotland. So she's working here for three years so that she can gain "local" status. Once she gains that status, she needs to do one year of general art before gaining admittance to the prosthetic make-up program. I asked her why she doesn't want to do the first year at the Glasgow School of Art (a more renowned art school) and she responded "Uh ... because I don't want to live there ..." Ouch!

It's a very beautiful restaurant and has a slightly cavernous feel to it, with gothic pillars and paintings and jewels displayed on the walls, museum-style. It's pretty cozy (maybe a bit too cozy - they could do with a couple fewer tables) and is a pretty romantic spot when lit solely by candles. The tables were like something out of a cottage in the French countryside, and there were some Victorian touches around. It's a perfect date place - like dining in the basement of an abbey! Chantal (the waitress)

Lunch at "Always Sunday" - I went for the cold roast beef, Scottish cheese (goat-like cheese, encased in peppercorns and grains), and spinach/sweet potato salad (the house specialty). The salad had a bit of a curry flavour and wasn't to my liking. The accompanying cheese scone was hard on the outside, but a little soft and gooey on the inside. Nothing was exceptional, but overall it was a decent meal. At 6.25 GBP it was cheap by UK standards, but not by mine!

was also pretty cute, too!

I had difficulty choosing between the sticky toffee pudding or cheesecake - being only Chantal's second night working here, she couldn't recommend one. We decided sticky toffee pudding would be the way to go because it's such a traditional English dessert, and I can get cheesecake anywhere else.

The total damage for this meal, including a glass of wine, tax, and tip? Around 9 GBP ($18 CAD)!!! The entree alone would've cost over $30 back in Calgary and the equivalent meal would've cost at least $60-70 back home. This place would certainly do brisk business in Calgary.

Back to the hostel - chatted for a while with Janette and Nick. Funny moment - Janette had interviewed with a group of Aussies about being their flatmate. She told us that they had offered it to her and that they were really nice people, but she was hesitant because they all were much older (late twenties, early thirties). Nick, himself being 25ish, laughed "Hold on - some of us are mid-to-late twenties here" and looked over at me. "I know that with Asians, you need to add 5 years to whatever age you think they might be." Janette

Underneath this parking spot is where John Knox is buried.

was a little embarrassed after I told her that I was 30. We all had a big laugh about it.

Did a little journal writing while watching TV in the lounge. Pretty funny - there was a big group of people in there watching a show on the "Top 40 Love Songs". There was a definite UK slant to it - they all mocked Shakespear's Sister's "Stay" for being cheesy, but admitted they all liked the song. And they all broke out singing when the chorus came on for Daniel Bedingfield's "If you're not the one", Leanne Rimes's "How do I", and Bryan Adams's "Everything I do". Too funny!

Rounding out the top of the list of love songs - Boyzone's "When you say nothing", Bon Jovi's "Always" (BTW - I never realized Carla Giugino was in this video, and she was pretty hot in her younger days!), Sinead O'Connor's classic "Nothing compares 2 U", Savage Garden's "Truly, Madly, Deeply", James Blunt's "You're beautiful", Berlin's "Take my breath away", The Righteous Brothers' "Unchained melody", Take That's "Back for good", Roxette's "It must've been love", Celine Dion's "My heart will go on", Whitney Houston's "I will always love you", Aerosmith's "Don't

Glasgow is famous for its Fringe Festival, and it's popular enough for its gift shop to remain open year round.

wanna miss a thing", and a shocker at #1 - "Eternal flame", by The Bangles!!!

I remember growing up thinking that Susanna Hoffs (lead singer of the Bangles) was kinda hot. Perhaps my affinity for cute brunettes can be traced back to an early age? Anyway, you'd think a cynical guy like me with a taste for darker, melancholy music wouldn't enjoy the "Top 40 Love Songs". But sadly, I do have a taste for ultra-cheesy and ultra-bad love songs. It's a weakness, I know - somebody get me some professional help!

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