We have tried to leave this City by train before..

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Geo: 49.8409, 24.0336

Summary: Up and packed. Richard the salami was hiding in the fridge but there is no escape. Today is the day!

Time check: 0728hr:s at breakfast. Nearly 10 years ago we were sitting in another hotel in town ready to take an early train to Krakow. Just as the taxi arrived to take us to the station, I check the train tickets and our train had left 5 minutes ago!. Panic set in. The taxi driver (who I think had not paid his water rates) speed off at high speed in his Lada to join the train at the Ukrainian border. Chickens flying we sped off at Lada neck speed to the sounds of Boney M (Ra Ra Rasputi and Ma Baker) on his 8 track......eventually we saw the train at the border and we hauled our kit aboard. Hopefully no repeat performance today.........

Mission: 0938 hr: train from L'vov to Yalta - arrive 254hrs time.

Observation: Many people in this town have legs that are twice as long as their counterparts in the UK and indeed do not suffer from "Greggs pink bun syndrome". Why???? Well the young lady at breakfast has just tucked into a hearty meal of celery and a small nectarine........mine is a small double fried egg affair with a salami and cheese top....Toast.....more cheese and a small salami style garnish with extra cheeses. So what ....... I am equipped with the M&S heralded "move with you" waste band trousers...... incidentally "gonged" with schnitzel sauce from Berlin.

Station: A prompt pickup at 0800hrs means we arrive in good time at the magnificent L'vov Central Station. No sign of Viktor anywhere and we soon see our train (No 86) listed on the departure board. Platform 1. With the platforms located above the main station and no lift in sight, the trip "sherpa" is back in action. A rather basic train with hard looking seats is sitting at the platform. Hopefully not ours .....but thankfully it pulls away and shortly afterwards our train glides to a halt with at least 18 faded carriages reminiscent of a black and white film made in 1948.

On train No 86: Just boarded and sitting in our roomy cabin with plastic poppy flowers on the table. More space by far....there are two comfy beds and a packet of chocolate wafers on a small table by the window. Each carriage is supervised by a rather fierce woman in uniform ( you would pay good money for in Hamburg) who checks our tickets and then disappears into her cabin with a male member of staff for a couple hours!

Timetable: There is a helpful train timetable on the corridor wall. We will follow the route and have noted the following stations to look out for: 3onoyib: tifonnibnak; nimbonimboyakbic and zembyyughug. Thats is my interpretation of Cyrillic!!!

We are off dead on 0938 as the train heads southeast and towards our final destination of Simperol.

Update 1050 hrs : The train time table has taken about 1 hr to sort of work out as I have had to cross check against our large scale Ukrainian map. We are heading in a South Westerly direction towards Ternopil (1146) and then to Vinnycja Junction (1618) where we head north again (in the wrong direction) towards Kiev and the well known town of Fastiv (1900hrs) where again the train joins another south westerly line towards the major City of Dnipropetrovsk (arrive 0228). Here we head due South for the Crimea and expected arrival time of 0950. The weather is good with broken sunshine as we trundle at a sedate pace through an expanse of lush and fertile rolling countryside.

Food intake: We attack the chile olive selection with gusto!

Menu for journey: I am not sure if there is a restaurant car....having ventured to the end of our carriage, the next wagon seems to be designed for some sort of livestock. Therefore there are three meals to think about: Lunch, dinner and breakfast. Having regard to our supplies the menu choices are:

Lunch: Salami (Richard), cheese and bread, pickles
Dinner: Salami (Richard) cheese and bread, caviar crisps and chocolate, pickles.
Breakfast: Salami (Richard) cheese and bread, banana... more pickles if supplies permit.

Update 1300hrs. We clank and bump on through the vast countryside at about 60mph. The sun is out and we have just gone through Narkevychi Station. About as busy as Westhumble Station at 3am on Boxing Day.

Update 1615hrs: We have made several stops the last one Vinnytsia (1612). We are now heading in a north westerly direction towards Kiev to join the south west line at Koziatyn (1725). It has just been noticed that I am now facing forwards rather than backwards. Hmmmm. There must have been some sort of cunning shunting manoeuvre at the last station. Worse still we may have slept past the last stop and are on our way back to L'vov!!

The train is now filling up and "Arthur the whisky policeman" is getting restless. Time to crack open the Vodka.....after all when in Rome....and don't forget the caviar crisps.

Supper: Swooolsschcccooh.....dobra....Dynamo Kiev. Its 1845. I have just met my mate Ivan at the buffet car. He loves zee English (Zeig Heil!!!) several manly bear hugs later and apparently supporting "Sporting Odessa", he has bought me two huge schnapps because I am from London and I am his best mate........ wooof baby maroooo...perhaps train travel is the best option babe. Chicken Schnitzel and chips soaked in Vodka is the answer, Who cares folks.........I'm converted. Just arrived at Bina UepkBa. Only 15 hours to go .......hic. BED 2000hrs Zocked....

Night on the train: I knew the route and we were heading due South West towards Dnipropetrovsk (0200hrs) where the train turns due South for the Crimea arriving some 8 hours later. This is a massive country almost the size of Western Europe alone. The night was spent bumping around our cabin! I thought we had derailed on several occasions. Bang crash bang crash. We toss and turn for hours whilst the full moon shines through the window lighting up the vast landscape through which we are travelling.

Up and going 0600hrs: Bright sun floods through our little window. We are passing a more arid and Mediterranean landscape. I am the only one up on the train me thinks. WRONG the toilets are full of elderly Russian men looking stubberly in blue BUKTA shorts and green flip flops. The train stops at a  large ornate Station where old women bring up baskets of cherries. TOO EARLY!

It is now 0705hrs and were are tucking into salami, cheese, bread and jam.

Update 0800hrs; The scenary changes from rolling plains to low grassland with glimpses of slat flats and the Black Sea. More expanses of sea and salt flats as we reach the start of The Crimea Peninsular. Little old buildings and the odd machine gun nest from WW2 are spotted. Without cloud in the early morning sun we press on now only an hour or so from Simperol.

0950hrs: We pull into Simperol and meet our new driver Dimetri and we are off again........

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