Buenos Dias!!

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Geo: 37.389, -5.99045

Time Check: 0707hrs. Late!!! A good nights sleep with only a few "tappasy" induced dreams meant a relaxed get up. Stubbing my toe on a balloon... the night before I had been greeted by 45 balloons in our room as it was my Birthday!!!!! What a feat of Balloon technology....

I make for the coffee station to construct our traditional cup....the bedroom was like El SIDS personal boudoir!. Vaulted ceilings, shutters and an onyx bathroom. Wow! my last experience of a bedroom in Spain was in 1981 with four spotty teenagers who had drunk too much Stella.........

Last nights meal was a fantastic Tapas blow out. No Chicken and Chips washed down with 8 pints of Guinness this time around!!!! Delicate Tapas creations were served up one after another. No Brits here apart from a trendy family who's kids tucked into deep fried squid and prawn croquettes with no hanging back. Daddy looked like some sort of "Media type" whilst Mummy (sporting a cheeky ankle chain) sipped gingerly on a decaf Sangria. What a great way to broaden the Children's horizons by taking them on a cultural tour of Andalucia in their Range Rover Evoque.

Equipment Alert! The remote TV controller looks like the latest bit of kit from NASA. It even has a full colour screen and LED disco lights. Sadly it does absolutly nothing and I had to resort to the button on the TV itself - see photo.

Breakfast: I was looking forward my usual "Full English" at The Britannia Pub (run by a retired Scots Guard Sergeant and his craggy wife with tattoos like Popeye). 35 years ago this establishment was about 100 yards from our Hotel in Lloret de Mar (near the Amsterdam Disco which was full of 25 year old grandmothers from Doncaster) who were easily impressed by a group of English Public Schoolboys who could talk the hind legs of a donkey and danced like John Travolta with Polio.

That was another era another life!. Today we enter a charming mediaeval restaurant with delicate patisserie and freshly squeezed orange juice.

Our Hotel is a converted 17th Century town house located in the heart of old Seville. Imagine a labyrinth of cobbled streets just wide enough to squeeze down in a small car. It has a beautiful roof terrace with a vista look overlooking the surrounding maze of historic streets and churches. Sadly, we have been beaten to it! Sitting by the roof pool is a "Sloane Rangerette" looking like Pussy Galore. Her name is Melissa and is puffing away on a Malboro Lite cigarette....where are you from she "purrs" in her best Cheltenham Ladies College accent.. "from Epsom actually" I squeak back enthusiastically........OK Yaaaah!.......later on in the day I spotted her chomping on a plate of Paella in a nearby cafe chatting up a local lad in Epsadrils.

Off we go! We head though a maze of little winding streets and burst forth into the main Cathedral square. This is an amazing City. A real historic Hollywood extravaganza that would do justice to any epic on the Spain of the "Conquistadors". The architecture is an ecletic mix of Moorish and European. I half expect to see men clanking about in suits of armour about to set sail for South America.

A sudden urge to speak French!!! Suddenly and without warning I start replying to "buggy ride" salesmen in French - why? ......possibly because my Spanish is more feeble than anticipated. "Eh Señor buggy ride????" - "non non non"

Cobbled alleyways, little square full of Orange Trees abound. We "ooh and aaah" our way around. Little shops selling fans and castanets abound. The sky is an assure blue.. not a cloud in sight.....already the sun bites and you realise North Africa is not far away.

Fancy a tapas? It's only 1020 and the locals are positioning themselves in little cafés. Tour groups start to mill about and the omni present camera snapping, pork pie hat wearing Asian tourists "gawp" at shop windows stuffed full of castanets and flamenco dolls. Being "serious" tourists we decide to head away from the epicentre and beat a retreat to more authentic sites such as The Christopher Columbus Column......and Flamenco Museum.

Seville is magnificent and surpassed all our expectations. We end up on the other side of the river at midday. Famished, we spot a little restaurant with a promising menu. Carefully selecting our table in the shade but still enabling a good view of the cobbled street scene the waitress comes over to take our order. Gambas???? Si Gambas.....frites...... Tapas? .....Si Tapas . And Si frites!!! Suddenly, there is a "problemo". It's 1215 and the kitchen opens at 1300 hrs. So why bother going through the order.....

Off we stomp and end up in an authentic cafe where we woof down a plate of local delicacies.

We are now in the "Ceramic District" on the otherside of the river. A large ceramic shop selling an enormous range of pots and tiles beckons. In we go and are greeted by a miserable "po faced" owner who looked like a bulldog chewing a wasp. I tried to ask if I could take a photo and was cautioned with a wagging finger!!! Little did he know that we were about to purchase thousands of pesetas worth of clobber!!! I felt like kicking over his entire stock....

Lunch has slowed us up and by 1530 it's hot and I mean late 30's and baking. We retreat for the Hotel and decide to head for our little roof terrace. Again we have been beaten to it! This time a young blond tanned Bimbo who is taking up a whole table and two sun loungers. We manage about 40 minutes and then off for a Siesta!!

Arghhhh! it's 1900 hrs we will be late for dinner! Wrong....... In Spain they get up at 1900hrs and all the restaurants are shut. We pace about for what seems like hours waiting for our little Tapas Bar ....La Bulla .... to open it's wooden double doors that take into a world of Chorizo and squid croquettes. At 1958 hrs CET precisely, we crash through the doors champing at the bit. Good evening Señor your usual table.....yes and bring on the food....now.

It's late....... 2100hrs......we head back to the Hotel passing small children just emerging from their Siestas!

We must try harder tomorrow!

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Comments

[Viv]

Can I just ask what you did with all those balloons in the bedroom?