Stamping, Leaping, but no Hard Sell

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Today it was time for the obligatory sales presentation and free breakfast that had earned us the accommodation of this holiday with CLC World. Now we already had gone through a couple of hours worth of presentation in Birmingham sometime last year that had earned us this holiday and £50 Marks and Spencer's tokens, so I really didn't see the point of this one. I was expecting a hard sell, so I had my hard and unimpressed face ready before we were picked up from our accommodation.

I was rather surprised when we were greeted by a very likeable Irish guy, older than ourselves called Maurice. Now if Maurice's employers are reading this, you need to sort him a decent company car because the vehicle he picked us up in didn't come across as luxury and that's not his fault. What a lovely guy though, a lot of time was spent chatting. So even though it was taking away my time actually holidaying, I didn't resent it because Maurice was a good guy.

We got taken to the Safari Restaurant where many other couples were going through the same sales patter, and where we got our free breakfast. It was a nice enough place with limitless tea, coffee and juice. The breakfast wasn't the broadest of selections, but good enough . And free. Glyn even liked the coffee and he's usually angry about that.

This was where we met Lorna, a pretty, bubbly, young (26) lady who was more the sales type. I really liked her too and wasn't looking forward to the inevitable 'no' to their sales pitch.

To be fair, I do think it's a great product if lovely resorts worldwide at affordable prices are your thing. If Glyn and I were the types who like to explore a little, but want to come back each day to gorgeous rooms with jacuzzis, pools, entertainment etc in various countries worldwide, this would have been an awesome offer. However, we prefer to spend our cash in seeing as much as possible, moving around from day to day and spending very little time in the accommodation. For us, a hotel or b&b is the place to sleep and securely leave our stuff, not a place to hang out at. As Maurice said, we're more like back packers.

We did get the tour and it all looked good. The posh end was marvellous until I looked over the balcony and witnessed a rather pasty couple splayed out beneath attempting to sunbathe as today it was almost a sunny day. Apparently all this recent rain is very unusual for May. Around here it is usually done by the end of February.

Maurice told us about the 'Adults only' accommodation and I couldn't stop giggling as it made me think of Frank and Joyce, a fictitious couple (I hope) as made up by a work colleague (James) that Glyn and I would have to play dominoes with (naked) as the reason this place was free is because it's a swingers hotel, and in life, nothing is free. Not really. But it turns out 'adults only' means you get to avoid screaming babies. Or so I'm led to believe.... Anyway, no sign of Frank and Joyce. Sorry James.

Maurice quickly clicked on that this product wasn't right for us, but still talked the talk as that is his job. Outside I could see it was sunny for the first time since we had arrived and I was itching to get out. I still had a laugh with these guys, but was more looking at the design of their brochures and website (I'm a graphic designer so these things interest me). The brochures certainly are nicely done and I thought it seemed a nice company to work for!

Lorna took it well when she realised we weren't up for the offer and it wasn't uncomfortable when we left. It was 2.30 when we got back and I'd not realised that all that time had gone by.

The next plan was to play crazy golf, but could we find it.. No. We spent ages driving in circles and getting annoyed too, but still, no luck. And we ended up in bloody Fuengirola again despite vowing never to go there ever again. And I bet we end up there at least once more before we leave.

Now I mentioned it was sunny, but only warm when sheltered from the wind. No sane person would go swimming, however, Glyn did. And boy did he holler as he leapt too enthusiastically into the pool outside our room. He swam a few lengths too - that's my man! I stayed fully dressed, with cardy on, taking photos.

It felt a bit of a uneventful day compared to the others, so we went to Spanish Night as seen in a leaflet at reception. Obviously we got lost but this time did find it.

The first part of the night was a horse show, which was pretty amazing although I do wonder if the horses enjoy it, it does seem rather unnatural, but their ears were pricked forward and that is a good sign. There was a good load of jumping and kicking about. A lot of the skill would not be appreciated if a person had not done many years riding lessons as I have. So Glyn didn't get how hard it was at times as there was little commentary.

The horses seemed highly strung given the racket the ones not performing were making from the stables. Many of them were stallions, this was more than clearly visible when we got to visit them in the stables afterwards. It was cool being able to fuss them and plenty were tarting about begging for ear scratches etc.

Next was dinner which was above standard for an inclusive meal. There was red wine on the tables which turned out to be inclusive. I really dropped on as I was sharing the table with Glyn (doesn't drink alcohol), children (didn't drink alcohol despite being French) and white wine drinkers, so got most of it to myself. Get in!

The night rounded off with live Spanish music and flamenco dancers. Now the music was guitars and pitiful wailing, but the dancing was awesome. A lot of stamping accentuated by the fact it was on a hollow wooden stage. The first dancer, a lady in a white suit was stunning, and then another lady joined her in more traditional clobber. Later they changed into fancy dresses and were so classy. It really is quite an angry dance style, with passion, pride and loads of stamping. Turns out I like s bit of stamping in my dancing. Such a contrast to the rather desperate and tacky belly dancing we saw in Morocco on Tuesday.

There was the inevitable bit where tourists were dragged on stage. The first was a rather large older lady who did a really good job, I'm guessing she does Zumba or some sort of dance class. The second was a old Spanish guy with little coordination, but he was a good laugh and didn't embarrass himself much!

A great night, highly recommended.

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