Easter Week in Russia, 1984

---

I am in the process (for about 10 years) of writing my autobiography. Here is an entry I just completed.

In 1984, we were living in Heidelberg Germany. I worked on a US Army base. In April, we took our big trip of the year, during Easter Week, We all, except for our son Dave, who was in Boulder Colorado at college, spent a week in Russia. Dave was really bummed that he couldn’t go with us. Lee Johnson, one of my co-workers, and his family, went with us. In my work I had a special Top Secret Clearance. To go on this trip, I needed permission from the Special Security Officer (SSO) in Heidelberg. This was an army sponsored trip and the permission was easy. I told my boss in Virginia about the trip and he nearly had a heart attack and said that I could not go. When he checked with his SSO he was told that if Heidelberg said I could go then I could go. He was still very nervous.

We took a bus to the Frankfurt airport and flew on the Russian airline Aeroflot to Leningrad. The plane looked old and dingy. At the airport we met our Russian tour/KGB guide. She was very business like and talked like a tape recorder. If someone asked her a question, it seemed like she would have to rewind the tape recorder in her head and restart the dialog.

We were advised to bring lots of stuff for tipping, such as cigarettes, ball point pens and panty hose. The Russian people had money but no access to western goods.

We stayed at a new hotel, built by the French for the previous Olympics. That was the Olympic Games that President Carter had the U.S. boycott. Leningrad, which is now called St Petersburg, was a beautiful city but very run down. We visited the Catherine The Great Palace, and toured the city. The second night on the hotel, we went to a night club on the top floor. Alcohol was very cheap in Russia and this hotel was a favorite of people from Finland who could come here for a cheap drunk. At this club, we met a couple of Marines who were stationed at the American Consulate. They were also friends of the American tour guide.

One night we went to the opera. It was a magnificent hall. Many of the old men had black suits and lots of military ribbons on their chest. At the end of the performance, the fat lady did sing.

The next night we went to the American Consulate and stayed at the lounge. It was a great visit with the Marines. Mom got a glass with the Marine emblem. Later that night the marines realized that we had a problem. The city bridges opened at night and we needed to get across the river to our hotel. One of the Marines went outside and found a couple of taxis that could get us back to our hotel. A few weeks after we got home, we heard that one of the marines that we met had been beaten up by the secret police while out jogging. The Consulate was an old apartment house. They had closed circuit cameras showing the sidewalk. Occasional the marine on duty would see a westerner getting hassled by the police. If he thought it important, he would go to the entrance and greet the person as a long lost friend to get him off the street. We asked the Marines what American goodies that they would like. When we got back to Heidelberg, we put together a care package of cookies, etc and mailed it to the Consulate. Hopefully they got it because we never got a response back.

The last full day in Leningrad, we and the Johnsons, decided to not take the tour of the Hermitage museum which cost about $25 per person. We headed down town to the shopping area and decided to go to a restaurant. We got in a line at a restaurant. I went into the restaurant and looked at a menu, which was totally in Russian. I asked a waiter if he spoke English and got a blank stare. We then went across the street to a large hotel and had a great meal for a modest price.

The next night we went to the train station to get our night train to Moscow. Our Russian tour guide was perplexed. The rules were that she had to accompany an American tour, but we were part of a German tour company, but we were all Americans. Finally she got permission to let us travel alone. We got onto the train and found our sleeper compartment. The compartments had bunk beds with dingy looking sheets. The bathroom at the end of the car was dirty and stunk. Everyone decided to only go when pain set in.

We came prepared for a party. We brought beer, vodka, champagne and lots of snacks. Russian champagne was great and cheap. We stayed up very late into the night. The head female porter did not speak English, but spoke a little French. Our tour guide spoke a little French. So we had fun Talking with her. There was a male porter or conductor with a Russian conductor hat. He was happy to f=join us with Vodka shots. One of the men on our tour tried to barter for his hat. He finally got it for a ballpoint pen with a digital clock. There was also a North Korean fighter pilot on the train with us. He seemed afraid of us, or maybe he was more afraid that we were on the train car with him.

Early the next morning, we arrived in Moscow. As we got off the train, the conductor came out on the end car without shoes or hat. We wondered of he had bartered them both. As we were walking down the platform, we saw a group of young men in civilian clothes and with shaved heads being yelled at by a soldier. They were going to army boot camp. They looked totally dejected. It reminded me of the Jews being taken to the concentration camps.

We were bused to a new hotel that was also built by a French company for the previous Olympic Games. The tour guide in Moscow was a young man and much more friendly. He had just graduated from college and being a tour guide was his compulsory service.

I had been approached a few times to sell my sport shoes and jeans for about $100 each. I asked the tour guide about this. He said that it was against the law to buy such goods but not against the law to own and wear them. I was never tempted to sell, because with my luck, the buyer would have been KGB and I would have been arrested, and then lost my security clearance and then my job.

We had a good city tour and wound up in Red Square. It is an amazing site. A few days after we were to be leaving the big May Day celebration was to be held. The entire Red Square was decorated with huge posters and flags. We went into Lenin’s Tomb, which is like going into a wax museum. We then entered the Kremlin and saw some amazing buildings. We then went to the famous Gumm department store. It was composed of dozens of small shops, all government owned. The quality of the goods was terrible but interesting. We then saw the infamous soft drinks machines. There was a row of over a dozen of these grey machines. You reach into the slot and remove THE cup. Yes, everyone drinks from the same cup. You insert your coin and put the cup under the rinse spout, which cleanses the cup and then you put the cup under the other spout and get a form of lemonade. The cup had a least one lipstick ring. None of us had the guts to try the beverage. When the Olympics came to Russia, Coca Cola also came to Russia, so we did have options. Russ and I need to pee so we found a large men’s toilet in the Gumm basement. You could smell the room from miles away. I don’t think that it had not been cleaned in years. It was like sticking you head in bucket of ammonia.

One night we got back to the hotel. Greg and Russ have one room and we had another. Russ called as when he entered the room. The boys had left their dirty socks on the floor. The maid had washed their socks and had them hanging over the radiator.

In Moscow we rode on the subway. Each stop was a small art museum and very elegant and clean. The trains arrived at the stations and only stayed a few seconds. You had to be ready to get off very fast. It was kind of scary with 2 boys. If we got separated, what would we do?

Another night, we went to a Ukrainian restaurant. There was a good meal of local fare and good entertainment which included the famous Cossack dancers. The most fun was to follow. The orchestra started playing the Chicken Dance. A few locals started waltzing to the music. We all looked at each other and all got up and started doing the real chicken dance, which was very popular in Germany especially at beer festivals. The other people in restaurant were amazed and some joined us and tried to learn. When it was over, people came over to us and thanked us for enlightening them. Something so dumb could have a such a big impact. Those decadent Americans.

When we were checking out of the hotel, the porter had bulging pockets of ball point pens and cigarettes.

This was an amazing week. I noticed that no cars had windshield wipers. I was told that they took them off because if they were not removed, they would be stolen. I remember watching an American TV show about an American exchange student in Moscow. She complained to her roommate that a wall socket did not work. The next day it was miraculously replaced. It is nice to know that somebody is listening, Maybe. That is how we felt during our entire stay. The hotel lounges had many prostitutes working there. I am sure that none of them were KGB. Lee Johnson was propositioned in the elevator. Before we went, Lee and I had a special security briefing on being propositioned by hookers, a favorite KGB activity.

---