The dizzy highs of Madeira

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Total distance travelled since Santos: 4345 nautical miles

This is our 3^rd time to Madeira. On our first visit we rode down the hillside in a wicker sled. Last time was the incident with my ankle so other than hobble around the prom, bought a bottle of wine and had a cup of coffee, we did nothing that exciting. This our 3^rd time, we had planned to visit Europe's highest vertical cliff – Cabo Girão. The number 154 bus drops you directly outside the entrance to the 'walk of faith', glass bottomed viewing platform that protrudes from the edge of the cliff. Oh, did I forget to mention that, Roisin? However, (as Roisin starts breathing a sigh of relief as she hears a ‘but' coming!!) The bus is very infrequent. The journey takes about 30 minutes from Funchal. There is one bus at 11:30 and then no more until 16:00. Returning, there is a bus that returns back to Funchal at 13:00 only. Plan B – to take a tuk-tuk, one of the small motorised taxis for 2 persons that are synonymous with the Far East, tear-arsing down over crowded and over populated streets somewhere in Thailand or Cambodia. These tuk-tuks cost anything between €7.50 (each) for a half hour tour of the capital to over €40 each to travel to Monte and ‘sled' back down in the wicker basket.

As we exited the harbour building, there were 2 stands outside, one for the famous red coloured hop-on, hop-off bus that can be found in most major cities all over the world and the other for the ‘big yellow bus company'. Considering one of these as a plan C and a viable possibility to compete with the ‘tuk-tuk' option, we looked at the routes of both tour buses. I spotted straight away that the yellow bus passes by Cabo Girão. Game on…again!!

Funchal is the capital of Madeira and although I have probably mentioned this is a previous blog, Funchal gets its name from the wild fennel that grows here. Why I'm stating this again is that a few days ago this was one of the questions in the World Champions Quiz…which we got wrong!! I suggested it means wood. Madeira gets its name from wood. Funchal means fennel which I should have known. This goes to show that even I don't take any notice to what I write half the time!!

Unlike the ‘red' bus where the passengers have to walk a mile or so to bus stop number 1 on the route, the ‘yellow' bus passengers are chauffeured straight to stop number 3 in a vintage bus. This ‘shuttle' looked like it was from the era of the late 40s or early 50s but this was definitely more comfortable (I was going to add ‘than what I remember' but it was a bit before my time!!) but I will just say ‘from the last time I rode on a vintage bus!!'

The vintage bus dropped us next to the cable car base station. This is an alternative way to the botanical gardens at Monte where it is only a short walk to the Wicker basket men!!

There are 2 routes with the yellow bus and the routes are interchangeable if so desired. With our limited time available we decided to keep with the ‘blue' route (of the yellow bus – I know, it's confusing isn't it?!) which would take us to a small fishing village called Câmera de Lobos. From there a smaller bus takes us the remaining 9km to Cabo Girão. The route to Câmera de Lobos took us west along the coast road. As the bus started to climb, twist and bend around the mountain road, the coast and sea dropped away. Some of the bends along this route were blind as well as hairpin yet our driver seemed to be in complete control. This didn't seem to convince Roisin as the bus climbed even higher and she averted her eyes from the precipice below!! The journey took a little over 30 minutes although not all of it was along the edge of a cliff face! We all alighted at the small fishing village of Câmera de Lobos where another smaller bus was waiting to take us the remainder of the journey. This was unfortunately the end of the road for one of us. But for whom!!

As I took my seat and got more comfortable I waved to Roisin as the bus drove off leaving her to explore the delights of Câmera de Lobos whilst I ascended the dizzy heights to Cabo Girão. Since I originally decided that this was going to be our ‘must do' in Madeira several months ago (and before I knew the lay of the land!) I had be psyching myself up to step on to the ‘walk of faith' glass bottomed platform.

The journey took a little less than 15 minutes and the views en route to Cabo were spectacular. It was a clear day so looking down the coast Funchal was visible as were all the small towns in between. The entrance to the lookout point took us through a small garden, past a number of souvenir stands to the end of the cliff. Cabo Girão, as Europe's highest vertical cliff, stands 580 metres above the sea that looked like a shimmering sheet of rippled glass stretching as far as the eye could see. There were only a few dozen people admiring the views so the place did not feel crowded at all. I stepped on to a platform that was steel grille; it was not wise to look down. I walked towards the glass viewing deck and as I came to the edge, holding tightly on to a rail to keep my balance, my legs refused to move another inch. Move legs, I heard my brain say. Piss off! my legs retorted back to my brain! Cor blimey, guv'nor. If we move another inch we'll fall down the bloomin' cliff, so we will and no mistake!! (I'm not too sure why my legs were talking in a cockney Mary Poppinsesque accent!!) My brain couldn't get it through to my legs that the platform, although glass, was quite safe. I took some photos from the safety of the steel platform to make it look like I'd taken the ‘walk of faith'. But it will just be our little secret!!

Back on planet Earth Roisin had been homing in on others conversations. Shortly before I arrived back she was sat on a wall awaiting my arrival when she overheard two people speaking in English.

‘It's lovely, isn't it?' Said the first voice. ‘Have you ever been to Madeira before?'

No, not Madeira', came the reply. ‘But I've been to other parts of Spain!!

Before returning to Funchal we ate lunch in a nearby terrace café. One of the boats had strange looking pelts hanging up drying in the sun. On closer inspection they appeared to be ‘Bat-shaped'. They had the outline of a bat but on asking the owner I was informed it is a kind of fish called Xara or Gata also known as Bacalhau de Câmera de Lobos. The fish is actually a Kite fin shark that lives in depths of between 200-600m of water. The fish is gutted then salted and dried (the process of where we were up to when I interrupted him!!)

The bus took a slightly different route back that was much flatter to the relief of Roisin. On the top deck I couldn't help noticing a Frenchman with his wife…and their pet dog on his lap. That's something you don't see every day. The beauty that is Madeira on an open top hop-on, hop off bus. ‘We better take little Trixi. I'm sure she will appreciate the beauty of nature.' I wonder if they had to pay a child's fare for the dog although if it is under 3, don't children ride free?!

As we alighted the Yellow bus halfway along the Avenida do Mar we crossed over the street and popped in to the first mall we came to with the ‘free Wi-Fi' sign. We sat down at some vacant stools and a breakfast bar in the foyer of the mall that didn't seem to be attached to any nearby business. I tried to log on to the Wi-Fi provided by the mall. No luck. The signal was very poor and it was not connecting. I was soon approach by a waitress who came rushing from a small café 20 yards away and asked very politely:

‘I'm sorry, this belongs to Yummies. Can I get you anything?

Oh! Here we go, I thought. 10 Euros for a coffee??!

‘Yes!' I said, ‘A Coffee Americano and a bottle of water! Oh, and do you have Wi-Fi?'

‘Certainly, here is the code', she said in perfectly accented English as she proceeded to write down the password.

The Wi-fi was very fast and so was the service. We received a coffee, a bottle of water and the bill…€2.10!! I decided to have a second cup of coffee. A male assistant approached. A medium build, bearded man in his thirties with a slight Australian accent. As I ordered a second cup of coffee he said: ‘Whilst I am pleased to serve you I first feel obliged to warn you about the dangers of too much coffee. It is not good for the heart…' Blimey, a café with a conscience!! This is the first time I was ever tried to be talked out of ordering something by the person I am ordering it from!! I appreciated his honesty and concern for my well-being. We came to a compromise. I ordered a decaf!!! The total bill was €3.20. I gave a €10 Euro note and told the assistant to give me €5 change. ‘Oh! No I couldn't possibly do that. It is far too much,' as the original waitress who served me handed over €6.80 change! A bizarre experience. Certainly not unpleasant. Just bizarre!!

Heading back along Avenida do Mar I saw an advert for what I have heard so much about but don't know where it is, the Christiano Ronaldo Museum. Not that I would ever be tempted to visit this, and I use the word loosely, attraction. And certainly not for €20 per person even if a proportion of the receipts are sent to his charity. It cost Roisin and I £3.70 (together) to visit the Pele museum in Santos and whilst Ronaldo, I have to admit, is an OK footballer he is not really fit to wipe the mud from Pele's boots.

We found the tuk-tuk waiting for us along the main street. They were charging €5 to be taken back to the ship. The walk would have probably taken 20-25 minutes so, what the hell. It was fun to phut-phut in a tuk-tuk along the main promenade and around the harbour, under the tunnel on which is built a house of a rather eccentric man who has declared independence from Portugal and Madeira, back to the MSC Preziosa. The driver spoke perfect English and was happy to take some photos of our experience. She even let Roisin (pretend to) drive!!

We had an invite to the Captains cocktail party this evening. It started at 18:15. That gave us ½ hour before dinner. I found myself standing next to the Old Man himself and was going to ask him ‘If you're here, who's driving the ship??' Then I thought this is probably the lamest comment the Captain constantly receives and I wouldn't wish him to force a smile!! I thought better of it and continued to swig the free bubbly.

Tonight's show was a Queen tribute called quite aptly, ‘The Show Must Go On'. This marked the final performance of the main singers before the change of entertainers in Arrecife, Lanzarote so was quite an emotional affair. It was a powerful act as both Silvia Specchio and her male counterpart Yatzel Gonzales hammered out tune after tune, never ever trying to imitate the great, late legend that was Freddy, but just quite content to give their all in their own interpretations of many Queen favourites. The encore, ‘We are the champions' starts with the British National Anthem. Three people in the auditorium stood up (Roisin and I not included, I'm afraid!!) giving an indication to the number of Brits on board!! (or would that just be the number of ‘Royalist' Brits on board??)

Walking back through the ship, we passed through a lounge that I now know is called as the Green Sax where Djalma and Al Pazzetto were finishing some tune or other that I didn't recognise. When I first passed through this lounge on the first day of the cuise I thought the lounge was called The Great Sex!! I wondered what kind of ship I'd boarded!! This was almost on a par with me buying a very cheap Pierre Cardin shirt several years ago only to find out when I got home that the label actually said Pure Cotton. As the advert says, I should have gone to Specsavers!!'

Well, some of you will be proud of me for getting through the whole of this entry without mentioning the 2 cakes, one more expensive than the other because the more pricey one is Madeira cake…

Or did I??!!

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