Indecent Proposal

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September 12th 2007
Published: September 30th 2017
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St. Michael the Archangel Church - pretty nice from the outside, and there was a bit of an art exhibit inside.
Geo: 54.8969, 23.8924

Breakfast was served this morning with an amazing peach jam. I couldn't get enough of it; good thing for me Mary didn't want hers. Hopefully our next B&B is as good - the rest of our accommodations in Lithuania are with Litinterp, a chain of B&Bs in this country. As we checked out, I realized that the best thing about Litinterp isn't the rustic and charming accommodations, or even the hearty breakfasts. It's the attractive ladies working in the office - hopefully the other B&Bs are as good!

At the bus station - the people in front of me seemingly got a lower price for their tickets. I wonder if we pay a tourist tax here? It probably doesn't really matter since things are already so inexpensive for us here. It was a hazy day in the countryside, making for a nice ride to Kaunas. It was a little dream-like as we headed inland.

The Litinterp in Kaunas is a bit of a dump in the exterior corridors - while the rooms are completely renovated, the exterior still needs some work. It's actually a little bit scary to look at. But having said that, Klaipeda's room was

The Statue of Man - perhaps inspired by Da Vinci's Vitruvian Man?
still a bit nicer and bigger. The common bar fridge, sink, cutlery, and in-room TV were also nice touches there that are missing here. But sadly, the biggest disappointment was the lack of hotties at the reception here 😞

We dropped off our bags and were off to sightsee. Lunch was at Zalias Ratas, a traditional Lithuanian restaurant. It was a fairly nice day so we sat outside. The meal itself was disappointing.

Laisves, the main pedestrian street is quite lively. It runs a few kilometers and connects the new and old towns. It was here that I picked up an extra pair of undies - Mary suggested that I go with an exotic leopard print or something lacy, but I stuck with something more traditional.

Part of coming to Kaunas was to see the Devil Museum - it sounded really interesting from the guidebook description but it turned out to be rather disappointing. I expected the focus to be more on the myth and folklore, rather than just one man's collection of assorted Devil paraphernalia. A little more creepiness would have also been nice. Every piece in this museum was owned by a Lithuanian artist, Antanas Zmuidzinavicius

It must get pretty cold here in Lithuania if they have patio heaters inside of churches!
(the computer almost exploded when I tried to spell check his name!). He lived until the age of 90 and believed that his longevity stemmed from his obsession with the Devil.

Next up was the Cathedral. Its claim to fame is that it's a Gothic church built with the floor plan of a Basilica. Apparently this is extremely rare ... and apparently, I could not care less! Just another Cathedral ... just another Basilica ... whatever!

We walked back to the new town and stopped inside a shiny new shopping centre. Our hope was to find a nice restaurant for dinner, but there were none to be found. Instead, we found a bunch of Lithuanian hotties - no complaints from me! Single guy travel tip: lots of hotties can be found in the shopping malls of Europe!

The mall was severely lacking in non-franchise type restaurants. It did have a skating rink, but we couldn't eat that. There were several places offering Italian gelato, but none looked good. We settled on the best of the worst, and I ended up with a pretty poor version of Tiramisu.

We left and went to a funky pizza joint just off

Reminds me of a statue of Machiavelli I saw in Florence.
the main pedestrian street. Cool atmosphere but bad food. At least the cider was good as usual. Another forgettable Lithuanian meal.

We stopped at the grocery store and picked up some water and Kinder Bueno. At least we ate something good tonight! The whole area seemed pretty dead as we walked back to the B&B. The area seems a little dodgy at night.

It sucked having no TV tonight. Mary Moment #42: After I commented that there was nothing to do without TV, Mary sat pensively, contemplating what we could do. She placed her left hand on the crook of her right elbow, her right index finger on her chin, tilted her head to the side, and gazed upwards. Then she said something I will never, ever forget - she grinned devilishly, nodded with approval, and winked at me as she rhetorically asked "Hmmm ... I wonder what two people could DO together to pass the time?"

It was an unmemorable night until Mary made her indecent proposal. Has she forgotten that this is a fake marriage? But even worse, after I spurned her advances ... she made a chilling threat that sent shivers up my spine ...

Lunch at Zalias Ratas - Mary started with the bland barley and potato soup.
I can't even talk about it anymore because I was so traumatized!!!

Additional photos below
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I tried their specialty, the cold beet soup. Afterward, I wondered "Why?", just like Mary would. The soup wasn't very good ... the flavour was helped slightly by the warm boiled potatoes served on the side.

I had the stewed Pike Perch with butter sauce and veggies (broccoli, beans, zucchini). Way too buttery! Disgustingly oily and the fish wasn't fully cooked.

Mary ordered the Zeppelins (named after the German blimps because of their similar shapes) - we were anxiously awaiting these because we hoped they might taste something like those Siberian dumplings we had in Parnu. Wrong! These huge monstrosities were filled with only a tiny speck of meat, and served with a very oily bacon sauce. Pretty disgusting, actually. Despite the huge portions, I didn't want to eat any of it and needed to eat a granola bar after. We've had some pretty unsatisfying meals so far in Lithuania.

Most of the fish was fed to the cats hanging around the patio. At least somebody enjoyed the food! Of course, with the cat hovering over the plate and with readily available cutlery, my inner Chinese man almost reared his head and sampled the kitty ...

The eternal flame of the Freedom Monument commemorates those killed during the liberation struggle of 1918-1920.

Drinking set from the Devil Museum. Some of the cups have fake bottoms - this is so the hosts wouldn't get completely hosed while entertaining their guests.

Mary Moment #43: A bug flew right into her eye. She managed to pick it out without incident.

Creepy devil likeness carved out of an old stump. I'm guessing the stump originally bore an extreme likeness to a devil.

I think this is supposed to portray Stalin and Hitler, and the atrocities they committed against the Baltic people.

This is how Mary and I get after having a few ciders.

Devil porn.

She was no Spanish hottie, but she was readily available.

Statue of Maironis - the artist tricked the Soviets into allowing the statue to be displayed by cleverly placing his hand to cover his clerical collar. Religious displays were a no-no for the Soviets.

Mary Moment #44: Mary looked over at these teenage school girls and asked me if they were young enough for me. Not very nice of her!

An old castle. Boring.

Maybe Ben is from Lithuania???

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