Mary offered me a lap dance!!!

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September 7th 2007
Published: September 30th 2017
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Riga's huge market is housed in five of these former aircraft hangars.
Geo: 56.9465, 24.1048

I woke up with a headache - actually, it never stopped after having tea yesterday afternoon. It feels almost like a sinus thing - not good! I can't afford to get sick while I'm traveling!!!!!

The plan this morning was to check out Riga's market for breakfast options. If there wasn't anything good, we would return to the hostel and have theirs. Though we did a bit of souvenir shopping, there was nothing overly appealing for breakfast so back to the hostel. The breakfast wasn't too great - but at least they had Nutella!

It was time to do some laundry. We knew exactly where we had to go, but then ... Mary Moment #30: Mary thought she had found a closer laundromat. Turns out it was an appliance store - I don't think they would appreciate us sticking our dirty undergarments into their brand-new display models! But if they were twisted enough ... maybe they would!

I caught up on some journal writing and listened to music while we waited for our laundry. A rather beautiful Latvian girl graced us with her presence as we waited. I have to say that I find the Latvian

There is also a sizeable outdoor section.
women more attractive than the Estonian women, though I could see many people thinking the opposite (i.e. - there are more blonde-haired/blue-eyed people in Estonia). I must also say that Spanish women are still at the top of my list!

It was around 2 PM by the time we returned to the hostel with our clean laundry. Starving, we grabbed lunch at the train station's shopping centre. Yet again, I ate incredibly fast and finished before Mary was even halfway done. It's weird how I am so intense while I travel - normally I take my time and enjoy my meals, but when I travel I always feel like eating is time that could be spent sightseeing.

The Occupation museum here was a little overwhelming (so much to see and read), but much more interesting than Tallinn's. We spent quite a while here and because of that, ended up arriving at the Museum of Barricades only 10 minutes before closing. It looked like a pretty interesting place, but we only had enough time to get a taste of the exhibit.

The museum documents 10 days in 1991, when the old town was turned into a fortress by

Mmmm ... I dropped this piece of toast into a crevice next to the kitchen counter. Who wants Nutella when you have toast with assorted hairs, rat droppings, and various other unknown items stuck to it?
the locals. They were trying to defend themselves from the Soviet Red Army. Many unarmed protestors were killed, and there was a documentary featuring actual footage of the events. Unfortunately, time did not permit us to view much of it.

Next up was the Latvian Museum of War. There were no English descriptions, despite the guide book stating that certain exhibits were in English. Some sections were closed; perhaps these were the ones written in English.

Mary Moment of Brilliance #1: The security guard started gesturing for us to leave as we entered one of the exhibits. I thought it was closing time, but Mary realized that he wanted us to start on the other side of the exhibit, and then make our way around clockwise.

So Mary didn't do ONLY embarrassing things during this trip - unfortunately, she was so overjoyed at her moment of brilliance that her rather comical reaction became Mary Moment #31!

I have to say that I really enjoy walking around the Baltics, because the women here check me out like crazy! Pat and Mary Asian Circus-Sideshow Freak in the Baltics Moment #7: I would enjoy this even more if the women

Lunch was kebabs and fries. Mary Moment #33: Mary hungrily bit into her kebab, and the kebab sauce squirted all over herself. It's ok Mary, that happens to every guy at one point or other ...
actually checked me out because they thought I was alluring, attractive, or exotic, rather than because they thought I was an Asian circus-sideshow freak! At least here I am enough of a novelty that I get stares!

We came across a square packed with people from the UK. They must be attending a special event here. It's pretty cool to hear hundreds of drunk guys singing Oasis's "Don't look back in anger" in unison. Mary-ism #8: Mary also enjoyed the moment and said "Small things make me happy." This comment was in stark contract with her constant joy that "Everything is SO BIG here!" But that's a good thing because being Chinese, I must make Mary VERY happy!

Mary Moment #32: The subject of our conversation switched to the strip clubs. Mary told me that if we went, she would even give me the first lap dance! Well I should hope so, given that she's my fake wife! But it was all talk, and no action 😞 I felt lied to, since Mary obviously didn't take this fake marriage as seriously as I did!

Though Riga is pricey, it still is slightly more reasonable than Tallinn. We

Waiting for our laundry. At least this time, Mary put her laundry into her backpack and didn't traumatize any small children, like she did in Tallinn!
managed to come across a menu whose prices were quite a bit lower than most places in the old town. The Opium Café was part dance club, part restaurant. They had a bit of a mixed theme with dance music playing, but a travel show on Sicily being displayed on the flat-panel TVs.

Down in the bathroom - some guy tried to sell me jewelry. Alright ... that's never happened to me before! He was pretty annoying and wouldn't take 'no' for an answer, so I simply ignored him.

After another mediocre dinner, we took a stroll and went back to the hostel. My head was still pounding and I didn't want to do anything but sleep. Though a lap dance by Mary would have been gratefully accepted - but only because it would distract me from my headache!

Additional photos below
Photos: 17, Displayed: 17



Mary Moment #34: I can't even begin to describe how she ate this chocolate. She firmly grasped it with one hand and made feral gulping noises "UMMMM!!! UMMMMM!!! UMMMM!!!" So wrong ... yet strangely, so sexy ...

A model of the barricaded old town, in 1991.

Pat and Mary Asian Circus-Sideshow Freak in the Baltics Moment #8: To escape the harrassment by the locals, I ran and ran until I hit this barricade. Unconcerned for my well-being, Mary's only action was to take a picture and comment "Yup, your butt IS getting big!"

Drunk people from the UK, singing drinking songs.

The basket of warm bread was one of only three decent things at dinner. My Louis Jadot Beaujolais was nice (ahhh ... finally, a familiar wine) and Mary's mojito. There were actually two other yummy things at the restaurant - the waitresses. Unfortunately, we couldn't eat them instead of the crappy food :(

Duck breast - dry. Definitely tastier in Tallinn. The assorted roasted vegetables (cherry tomatoes, peppers, zucchini) were pretty average.

Black risotto - definitely NOT as good as the one we had at Finca de Susana in Madrid. Many baby cuttlefish, shrimp, and mussels ... only the shrimps were any good, with a crisp texture. The rest was rubbery and tough. It was actually watery and instead of the rice being coated in a rich, creamy sauce, it was more like little specks of squid ink sprinkled about.

Mary Moment #35: Mary noticed this police van and told me that they must be undercover. Uhh ... Mary ... usually undercover police don't do stakeouts in a police van marked "Police" in large, reflective letters.

A quiet evening - we sat at a monument opposite the TI and just chilled and talked for awhile. A few guys were trying to set their camera down in a good place to take a picture using the night scene feature, but were having trouble. I offered my tri-pod to them, which they gratefully accepted. If only the Latvian women would accept my countless offers to let them make use of my "tri-pod".

You can't tell in this picture, but the guy in the centre of the picture with the backpack is friggin' tall!!! Mary asked that I do a walk-by to determine his actual height. I am quite experienced at this sort of walk-by - just ask Tam and Tri about the time I did this at a wine show so that they could figure out the height of a girl!

Mary Moment #36: Mary told me "Tilting your head back like this causes you to swallow." Good tip for the girls, Mary! Coincidentally, she offered me a "throat drop" this evening. Did she mean a cough drop, or one of Yvonne's "throat drops"? We'll never know ...

It was cold in the room, so I executed my patented "Human sausage roll" blanket maneuver.

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