Florence + The Machine

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Geo: 43.7687, 11.2569

Florence is one of Italy's most revered tourist destinations, synonymous with all things good in Italy - art, culture, fashion, food, history ... and while tourists may know it more for being the birthplace of the Renaissance, they probably don't know that it's also a major cog in Italy's industrial machine. Tourism may be the number one contributor to Florence's economy, with the region's famous food products and wine also playing an important role, but it's not widely known that heavy industry and machinery play a vital role in maintaining this northern region as one of the most affluent in all of Italy.

The average tourist will never see this side of Florence, as it's just far enough away from Florence's beautiful squares and churches to be out of sight and out of mind, but it's this side that is really the reason behind this trip - visiting a Vendor's sprawling campus and touring its factories. The engineering crowd may be more interested in seeing pictures of massive compressors being built, but the Vendor's strict confidentiality policy and worry over losing its competitive edge forbids any outsiders from taking photos anywhere inside of its campus. However ... we were allowed to snap a couple of quick photos of this beautiful classic fountain, no doubt inspired by Florence's rich art history during the time of the Renaissance.

So look closer at this fountain, sculpted in a manner that would make even Michelangelo proud, and then notice what the man is holding in his hands, high above his head - it's a compressor rotor! Ah, the memories ... we all got a good laugh out of this one, of the Renaissance meeting the 21st Century, with its juxtaposition of man's technological achievements displayed high above man's junk dangling down below! But perhaps our tour guides were even more entertained than we were, laughing at us childish little North Americans, who when confronted with nudity in tasteful public art, tend to blush and act like they've never seen a man's package before, giggling like a pack of little school girls.

While the idea of a business trip to Italy sounds like the ultimate getaway, nothing more than an all-expenses-paid boondoggle, each working day here averaged about 10 hours of intense meetings, preceded and followed by an hour or so of prep/checking emails back at the hotel. Doing this for six out of eight days, with long and drawn-out meals every night that were accompanied with lots of wine-guzzling team-building activities - inevitably led to some burn out. Sure, the naysayers will always disagree, never able to recognize how difficult and stressful these business trips can be.

It may sound like it would be fun, but it was a positively torturous ten days in Italy - imagine waking up every morning to a rich and delicious espresso or cappuccino, accompanied by a breakfast buffet of fresh fruit and pastries, assorted Italian cheeses and cold cuts, and various hot dishes ... with a stomach full of food, do you know how difficult it is to remain alert at a ten-hour meeting, when all the blood has been diverted from your brain to your belly to digest all of that?

And sure, the idea of a hotel happy hour after a long day of work with unlimited prosecco, and red or white wine may sound like the ultimate work perk, but have you any idea how tough it is to check emails and coherently compose meeting minutes when you are half-blitzed? What kind of hotel liquors up its guests with unlimited alcohol without offering any substantial food to go along with it, only an assortment of nibbles that includes roasted nuts, chips, and a fresh-made warm and spicy bruschetta that would make any Italian granny proud? Atrocious!

That free liquor wound up being nothing but a major safety hazard for us, since all our drunken stumbling made it difficult to walk in a straight line on Florence's cobblestone streets. And do you have any idea how uncomfortable it is to have yet another multi-course Italian meal with plates of charcuterie and cheese, assorted fresh-made pastas, grilled meats, multiple desserts, and bottle after bottle of Tuscan goodness, when you're already stuffed on food and alcohol from the hotel? We all needed to buy some fat pants on our third day in Italy, as our belts were already stressed beyond their breaking points!

Then, because we were so uncomfortably bursting with food and drink, before going to bed we needed to have long walks through Florence's beautiful streets; basking in all that Renaissance beauty eventually caused us terrible headaches. And I know what you are thinking - those headaches had absolutely nothing to do with metabolizing the excessive amounts of tannins that may have been in our blood streams!

But perhaps the biggest insult of all every night was the fact that our hotel was wonderfully-located in the middle of all the action, with several night clubs and bars conveniently-located only metres away. All that noise made it difficult to sleep, so we of course had to go into a few of these bars and pubs every night before bed, but only to demand that they turn down the music and shut up their patrons. However, our demands always fell on deaf ears, forcing us to stay in these establishments for a few more drinks, trying to convince them to listen to our desperate pleas.

Even worse were all the beautiful Florence girls decked out in their designer duds, gyrating seductively on the dance floor ... you'd think this was a good thing, but no! We all suffered painful soft tissue injuries while frequenting these dens of sin, caused by multiple instances of whiplash each and every night. Though lesser men would constantly gawk at these beautiful young ladies, all of us are virtuous men who are already spoken for, so we had to constantly snap our necks to look away. Honest!!! So scoff all you want - despite what you may think, we had no fun at all on this business trip ... but being the exemplary employees we are, we would all gladly volunteer to come back next time, if only to spare our other co-workers from suffering such torture ...

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Photos

A Good Start at Zaza's ...
... assorted cheeses, cured meats, and grilled veggies, accompanied by fried fluffy pillows of pizza dough. Not sure what the best part of the dish was, but I'd have to narrow it down to the jam or fried pizza dough.

Bartolucci ...
... super-cool wooden toy shop.

Pick Me Up ...
... the long days and nights were exhausting. So I'll let you be the judge - is this laptop covered in a cornetto's powdered sugar, or a more stimulating white powdery substance?

Chocolate Taps ...
... I wanted to stick my head under one.

Florence's Central Market ...
... for a simple lunch of grilled eggplant and peppers, caprese salad, and dishes of fresh pasta, all accompanied by a few glasses of Sicilian Nero D'Avola.

Pasta ...
... pappardelle al cinghiale (wild boar), risotto with saffron, zucchini, prawns, and truffle, and tagliolini with truffle.

Apple Tart w/ Vanilla Sauce ...
... phenomenal dessert - warm, moist, and chewy.

Vin Santo and Cantuccini ...
... typical dessert of the region, dipping these hard biscotti-like cookies in sweet dessert wine.

First Gelato of the Trip at Perche No ...
... the original plan for this trip was to average three cups of gelato a day but alas, Italy in January and February is cold, even in the South. So sadly, the desire simply wasn't often there, though we did manage to sneak in a few during the trip. I have fond memories of the gelato at Perche No during my first time in Florence, and this did those memories justice.

Gelateria dei Neri ...
... considered by some to be the best that Florence has to offer, it's tough to dispute that claim when sampling their hazelnut and chocolate varieties, though there are many worthy contenders for the crown of Florence's best gelato shop.